NOM

So I have been less active here lately. I still check in from time to time but I just find myself apathetic about this stuff lately. That and a bit unhealthy to spend so much time complaining and the reruns of topics get boring without real human connection.

Anyway, so I am on several Mormon FB groups and one that I post a fair amount on. It took over my FC time when NOM 1.0 went dark and 2.0 never gained my commitment back. Anyway, DW has been very resistant to my online participation and even jealous and disgusting for years (can you blame her? Look at this group of apostates I socialize with here).

Anyway, we have had a good year and she has progressed in her acceptance of me. I guess that whole abhor -> tolerate -> embrace thing we have been warned about is true after all. I would say the majority of the last year has been tolerance of my FC. Now she has officially joined me in one of the faithful FC groups on FB.

I always dreamt this day could come but was never sure it would. She has officially joined me in this space by acknowledging that she has had a FC and even joins in the evil speaking of the Lord's anointed.

I am on a high. It is great to be on a very similar page (can't say same page because I don't think 2 humans truly ever do that). We will see what all this means long term. For sure the nuance is fully embraced. Raiding kids is a big question mark and how to talk to family is even a bigger deal.

Here's to hope for all of you who are stuck with a TBM spouse. Be patient, go slow, be gentle, and never let them doubt your commitment to them above all.

MV I'm envious and happy for you at the same time. Its been ~3 years since my announcement to wife that I can no longer pretend that I believe In the truthfulness of the Mormon church. I've seen a fair amount of cog dis from my wife (particularly over Polygamy) over the past couple of years, but there is always an equal and offsetting amount of retrenchment that leaves me feeling less and less hopeful that someday she will "see the light",as it were. In a somewhat morbid sort of way it reminds me of that scene in Alien where the creature is plastered on the face of that guy, but every time the other crewmen try to pull the creature off it just wraps itself tighter around the poor guys neck. The more I try to help my wife the more of a stranglehold the church seems to exert over her. I feel helpless.

There is beauty all around, when there's love and tolerance and acceptance at home. Good for you.

Congratulations! That really is a big step forward.

I wish I could get my DH to communicate on this level. He recently retrenched and has decided our kids need more church in their lives so it is back to church we go. I thought we had come so far but it turns out we were just taking a break from church.

Excellent news, MalcomVillager! And excellent advice. That seems to have been very successful in my situation, also.

JustHangingOn@57 wrote: ↑Sun Jan 28, 2018 11:05 pm In a somewhat morbid sort of way it reminds me of that scene in Alien where the creature is plastered on the face of that guy, but every time the other crewmen try to pull the creature off it just wraps itself tighter around the poor guys neck. The more I try to help my wife the more of a stranglehold the church seems to exert over her. I feel helpless.

This is a good analogy.

Congrats MV! That is great news. Score one for loving relationships over dogma.

That's wonderful news! I'm so happy to hear it!

Yay! Spouseman seems to be coming around a bit too. As long as I'm ok not rocking the boat with his parents just yet I think. Progress.

JustHangingOn@57 wrote: ↑Sun Jan 28, 2018 11:05 pm In a somewhat morbid sort of way it reminds me of that scene in Alien where the creature is plastered on the face of that guy, but every time the other crewmen try to pull the creature off it just wraps itself tighter around the poor guys neck. The more I try to help my wife the more of a stranglehold the church seems to exert over her. I feel helpless.

Well, it's your fault. If you hadn't gone looking for the cat in the first place none of this would have happened.

Spoiler alert: the blood (gossip and local "support") might just turn out to be acid.

So happy for you!