NOM

I'm listening again to RFM and his "Making Doctrine out of Nothing at All" cast.

I know that RFM and Bill Reel have talked about this before, but the basic numbers are totally baffling when you think about this. The estimate is there are some 70 billion people who have lived on this earth?...and some 30+ more billion who are disembodied (according to LDS theology) because of wickedness,...and they all came from sexual acts?

God is doing nothing all the time except boinking! I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE FREAKING NUMBERS!

The big proponents of polygamy, among others, were Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. I know that others on this site have argued that polygamy was as much about control and power as about anything else,...but just for a moment think about the sex part.

I'm ROFL! Wow,...there must be some serious celestial viagra up there. The whole concept is ludicrous...I mean LUDICROUS!

One of the biggest problems I see is the lack of fatherly involvement. Brigham Young SUCKED as a daddy. He was a disingenuous, disengaged and mostly a missing father. Since GOD is supposed to be the father of all these children, not a lot of one-on-one time happening,...would you say? Oh, time doesn't exist up there, so apparently, he can have all the sex possible as well. And of course, HE can spend all the time he needs with each child because, after all, he controls time.

I'm not trying to rehash this killed topic. I just am having a moment of "OH MY HELL!...LETS GET REAL FOLKS!"

The whole idea is really ludicrous in my opinion.

I remember sometime in the past of asking the question, on a semi-FAIR minded forum, whether suddenly having the million-fold brainpower to manage celestial mechanics might dim our primal urge to boink. "Not so", the semi-FAIR minded apologists said, "we would retain our basic personalities".

I am still a bit skeptical that these two ideas, of unimaginable intellect and unquenchable primal instinct, go together. It seemed more like an earthly horniness was being forged into a wishful theology without a great deal of forethought regarding the cerebral aspects of immense celestial progression.

I suppose that those same apologists might point out that modern human sadists still retain the amoeba's tendency to flagellate. Hope that microbiology reference does not offend anyone and if so the moderators should feel free to remove it like they do at semi-FAIR minded boards.

moksha wrote: ↑Sun Jan 28, 2018 1:30 am I remember sometime in the past of asking the question, on a semi-FAIR minded forum, whether suddenly having the million-fold brainpower to manage celestial mechanics might dim our primal urge to boink. "Not so", the semi-FAIR minded apologists said, "we would retain our basic personalities".

I am still a bit skeptical that these two ideas, of unimaginable intellect and unquenchable primal instinct, go together. It seemed more like an earthly horniness was being forged into a wishful theology without a great deal of forethought regarding the cerebral aspects of immense celestial progression.

I suppose that those same apologists might point out that modern human sadists still retain the amoeba's tendency to flagellate. Hope that microbiology reference does not offend anyone and if so the moderators should feel free to remove it like they do at semi-FAIR minded boards.

Maybe massive cerebral power allows celestial folks to create more than 101 sex positions?

Yeh!...that must be it. More brain power makes more variety possible!....

But I just don't know about this 100 billion thing though. I mean,...that is a lot of positions!

On a more serious note (if that is even possible about this topic),...I remember reading about some of the story-telling things existing back in JS day, and how the "Tall Tale" was part of the ritual used. The idea of the barges in the BoM, the war with millions killed--things like that were part of the tall tale, part of story-telling and creating the myth to create the illusion of miraculous instead of just fable.

The more this idea of God parenting each and every person on this planet, both embodied and not, through sex, comes across as another Tall Tale. For those who think about it, there is a drawback actually. I know some women -- well, a lot of them have left the church -- who are VERY PISSED OFF about the whole misogynistic LDS perspective. In their minds, the theology seems to indicate that their place in the eternities is to be a sexual receiptical for their husband's incessant and NEVER ENDING advances. Their job, as they see it, is to make babies...over and over and over and over and over and over (forever).

Not a very pleasant perspective. Sex is great--dont' get me wrong--but if that is ALL THERE IS, and on the other side raising all those children but never having the "father" home to help (like Brigham Young),...gets old kindof fast.

All you need is a Celestial fertility clinic to distribute the seed around. No need for individual boinking.

1smartdodog wrote: ↑Sun Jan 28, 2018 9:03 am All you need is a Celestial fertility clinic to distribute the seed around. No need for individual boinking.

That would allow for same-sex eternal couples, though, so the theology must absolutely require individual boinking.

You perverts are thinking about this all wrong.

God is the most interesting man in the Universe! His eternal handsomeness is cloaked in celestial light and never ending knowledge. He just has to LOOK at a woman with his charming good looks and she's suddenly bearing his celestial baby! No boink, no bounce, no booty shaking!! Billions of babies are bred, billions!

Don't let Mormon temple Heavenly Father, dressed in a white robe, kept beard, and long hair fool you. That guy is merely a stand in body double because the real Heavenly Father would get BOTH the women and men pregnant he's so charming, handsome, and powerful!

What! The thought of having celestial sex all day long, every day is the only shred of hope I was clinging to....Now that aspiration is dashed....

moksha wrote: ↑Sun Jan 28, 2018 1:30 amI am still a bit skeptical that these two ideas, of unimaginable intellect and unquenchable primal instinct, go together.

Which only makes it even worse. Imagine being cast in the role of an infinite procreator, an eternity of non-stop doin' the nasty, but never being "in the mood."

maybe thats why the universe is so many billions of years old. It took that long to make all the babies.

After reading all this, I need an aspirin.

WHAT!?.....WAIT A MOMENT! That is what I use to tell my Ex to do....go take an aspirin, then the headache would go away and Now might be a good time?

DRATS! Didn't work.

But now I'm confused. Since clearly there is one God, and lots of polygamous women for that one God....what if they don't take the aspirin?

I've GOT IT!. GOD would just go take other men's wives,...you know, like JS did? Yeh, that's it. I KNEW I could make it all work in a TBM way! I knew it!

You need to think out of the box (pun intended) on this one folks. Celestial procreation could be more like how the salmon do it. With a shake of the tail enough biological matter could be released to celestially fertilize thousands of future offspring.

JustHangingOn@57 wrote: ↑Sun Jan 28, 2018 11:22 pm You need to think out of the box (pun intended) on this one folks. Celestial procreation could be more like how the salmon do it. With a shake of the tail enough biological matter could be released to celestially fertilize thousands of future offspring.

DUDE! Where's the fun in that!? One shot (pun intended,...sorry) and you got a million of em cooking?

OK. Here is a question that I struggled with when I was just a little child. Spirits can pass through walls. Resurrected people can as well. So, how could you have a "spirit" gestating in a resurrected body and not slip through, plop on the floor into spiritual goo, and so much for that idea?

Rob4Hope wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:27 am

JustHangingOn@57 wrote: ↑Sun Jan 28, 2018 11:22 pm You need to think out of the box (pun intended) on this one folks. Celestial procreation could be more like how the salmon do it. With a shake of the tail enough biological matter could be released to celestially fertilize thousands of future offspring.

DUDE! Where's the fun in that!? One shot (pun intended,...sorry) and you got a million of em cooking?

OK. Here is a question that I struggled with when I was just a little child. Spirits can pass through walls. Resurrected people can as well. So, how could you have a "spirit" gestating in a resurrected body and not slip through, plop on the floor into spiritual goo, and so much for that idea?

Yes, I have thought that creation of spiritual children has to be much different than physical bodied earthly children. I am all for the salmon method. The female puts down a thousand or so eggs, and the male swims over them spreading sperm. That would be very practical in a zero gravity environment. I am against the 9 month gestation thing of turning them out one at a time. Eternal pregnancy in a harem of several thousand other wives sounds like hell. But then, we are supposed to have perfect health, so maybe pregnancy wouldn't be as bad as here on earth.

Or then again, maybe the sexes will be reversed and you guys get to be pregnant and us women get priesthood.

Wow this whole thread makes the eternal procreation doctrine seem so weird, wrong, impossible... I am looking for the right word here, how did I ever believe this sh**

slavereeno wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 7:41 pm Wow this whole thread makes the eternal procreation doctrine seem so weird, wrong, impossible... I am looking for the right word here, how did I ever believe this sh**

Yeh, this is one of those "You just need to have faith" topics. But, considering men like Boyd K Slacker talked about husband/wife relations being the VERY KEY to Eternal Exaltation, how can you ignore the obvious questions? He certainly did, and to even ask those questions was a sign of "lack of faith".

GEES!!....these guys actually promote people being stupid by not asking questions!

GAWD,...where is that dang aspirin!!!

alas wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:29 pmI am all for the salmon method. The female puts down a thousand or so eggs, and the male swims over them spreading sperm. That would be very practical in a zero gravity environment.

Oh, how I wish it was portrayed this way in the temple film.

While I've been entertained by the comments here I've never had a problem with the idea that God got it on. I've said it before, I'll say it again, Mormonism has/once had the potential to be very sex positive but we screwed it all up.

Mormon theology is pretty materialist, ie spirit is matter but matter more fine, no ex nihilo creation etc. It's a theology with issues (is god all-powerful or not etc) but I find it preferable to other theology (I'm an unbeliever in all of it mind you).

It seems the idea of genetic dynasties is viewed with increasing disdain these days (with good reason) but it still carries a certain profound weight with humanity. The pauper is actually a prince, the poor moisture farmer is actually the descendant of the most powerful individual in the galaxy, the simple computer programmer is the savior in the war against the machines etc, etc.

Of course (as with all theology IMHO) once we start trying to determine how many angels can dance on the head of pins it gets reduced to absurdity. But the idea that we're literal children of the most powerful being in the universe, literally gods in embryo, is pretty powerful.

Hagoth wrote: ↑Tue Jan 30, 2018 7:18 am

alas wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:29 pmThe female puts down a thousand or so eggs, and the male swims over them spreading sperm.

Oh, how I wish it was portrayed this way in the temple film.

Are you hoping for a Sure Sign of the Spawning?

Hagoth wrote: ↑Tue Jan 30, 2018 7:18 am Oh, how I wish it was portrayed this way in the temple film.

They cribbed Fantasia in the past, maybe they can crib The Magic School Bus in the future?

LaMachina wrote: ↑Tue Jan 30, 2018 9:58 am Of course (as with all theology IMHO) once we start trying to determine how many angels can dance on the head of pins it gets reduced to absurdity. But the idea that we're literal children of the most powerful being in the universe, literally gods in embryo, is pretty powerful.

Agree. I like to think of this thread as demonstrating the absurdity of eternal gender roles.