NOM

As a TBM I hated the never ending repetitive shallow nature of sacrememt meeting, GC talks, Sunday school lessons, the temple routine, and all things that make up the gospel centric mormon lifestyle. Wash and anoint, rinse, repeat. Wash, all arise, rinse, repeat. Wash, rinse, repeat. That will do.

Now I'm realizing once you flip over the record it's the same thing. BOM historicity, inept and out of touch GA's, November policies, horses, tapirs, apologist, clowns panties, hidden videos, divorcing lesbians returning, mormon leaks, unexpected missionary and home teacher visits, and endless complaints. Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, reddit, NOM, redditt, NOM, NOM, NOM.

Exmormonism is Mormonism.

Perhaps we need a more prominent forum discussing useful and amusing activities we are doing that have nothing to do with the LDS church whatsoever.

Corsair wrote: ↑Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:54 pm Perhaps we need a more prominent forum discussing useful and amusing activities we are doing that have nothing to do with the LDS church whatsoever.

We could call it shore leave, because it's what you do after you get out of the boat.

Life is generally pretty repetitive for most of us. Get up go to work go to bed get up go to work go to bed get up go to work go to bed...NOM Is no different in that respect.

However, the difference is with NOM I come and leave when I choose, no one claims to be talking for God, and no one tries to lie to me to maintain their power over me. It is repetitive like Church is, but it sure isn't the same thing.

And I'd add that while I agree that sites for disaffected members and former members are pretty repetitive, at least here I can speak my mind. I've had all kinds of disagreements over the years with some of you, and I hope I haven't offended anyone in doing so, but I've been allowed a level of discourse unimaginable in a Church meeting. No one lords their pretended authority over me to silence me. It is true that newme and others have presented unpopular opinions that have been roundly criticized, but allowing discussion of everything in the marketplace of ideas does not mean all ideas should be treated as equal regardless of evidentiary support. I don't consider NOM an echo chamber to near the extent Sunday School is.

So, yes, I agree NOM and the Church are both repetitive, but there are differences within that repetitiveness.

Corsair wrote: ↑Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:54 pm Perhaps we need a more prominent forum discussing useful and amusing activities we are doing that have nothing to do with the LDS church whatsoever.

I like it! NonNOM forum or topic area.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:14 pm Exmormonism is Mormonism.

Interesting, I just watched Lindsay Hansen Parks' Mormon Stories podcast yesterday and she said this almost exactly, Mormonism made us so we will still be Mormons even after we leave.

I have only been on here a couple of weeks, and since I am deconstructing and reaffirming I am probably just rubbing salt into old wounds for the more tenured here.

FWIW, its all been super helpful, getting angry or sad or being able to laugh in a time when it feels like all I can do is mourn. Its been a bit of an obsession the past couple of weeks for me, even taking PTO to consume podcasts and NOM posts. I have to find better balance, but I get so agitated when I go to SM or teach primary or a family member is reaffirming their "sure" knowledge. And that stuff is still around me 24/7.

If I really had my druthers I would resign,put it all in the rear view mirror and move on, but realistically that's not going to happen any time soon.

Not Buying It wrote: ↑Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:06 am And I'd add that while I agree that sites for disaffected members and former members are pretty repetitive, at least here I can speak my mind.
...I don't consider NOM an echo chamber to near the extent Sunday School is.

Agreed! Thank you all for this forum!

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:14 pm Exmormonism is Mormonism.

I think this has a lot to do with personality. Some people obsess over it. Some dont. I know a few who were able to put it behind them completely relatively quickly. They were not the types to linger over something. Some others -- like me and probably you -- are not able to forget it so easily. A massive part of that is due to family ties, but I think even if I were single I would still be here.

Although I certainly agree that Mormonism primes us to not be able to let it go.

And your family isn't horrified and angry, and telling you you will go to hell when you get bored with NOM and drop out.

I distinctly remember in 2004 randomly coming across the recovery from mormonism board (RfM). I was bored that weekend and so I spent an hour reading over it. My shelf had crashed on my mission in the 90’s and I went inactive soon after I got back and, even though I still had to pretend to be TBM around family, I soon put the church in my rearview mirror and never thought about it. So when I read RfM then I thought it was kind of pathetic that these people couldn’t leave the church alone!

But I soon found out that, while it was easy to leave the church as a single guy, once marriage, and especially grandkids came along, the tension and stress with my extended family would increase dramatically! So that is basically why I’ve been hanging around these boards as of late. My twins are nearly 8-years old and so I need to make some decisions about whether they should get baptized, or whether I should just be open about leaving the church.

To be a NOM, or to not be a NOM, that is the question! For me, RfM, reddit, and this website have been a great help! I’m sure glad I didn’t have to go through this in the 90’s! Instead of writing this, I probably would be preparing my lesson for tomorrow!