NOM

So I have a coworker I really don't know directly from work, but we have socialized a fair amount outside of work, but inside work circles. Anyway, he recently told me he is a year into a FC and something I said caused it. I am not sure exactly whast it was, outside of the fact I shared Sapiens with him, he read it, and loved it (great book BTW).

Anyway, we are meeting at Starbucks during conference to discuss it all. I am anxious but i feel some guilt.

He is from another country and was a SP there I believe. We are in the MorCor here so it is different for him to be around so many Mormons and a new American culture.

This is going to be interesting. I hope he and/or his family don't hate me for being the bearer of bad news. Don't shoot the messenger right?! I am not even sure what exactly I said. Maybe I mentioned the Essays.

Anyway, I will R&R!

Yes, I have. Don't feel any guilt. Guilt is a useless emotion. Everything is a learning experience.

I think I did for my sister. She had some concerns and I basically dumped gasoline on them and lit a match. It wasn't intentional. It was so nice to talk openly about the issues that I got carried away. She went to research what I told her and...FC. I don't feel bad. I feel validated in some ways.

Que es la FC? Googled FC + Mormon and got no hits.

Return and report!

Yes I did cause a FC for someone. My 78 year old TBM cousin emailed me one day and asked me why I don't go to church. This lead to her reading the Essays, Mormonthink, the CES letter and anything else I could throw her way. I rocked her world of course and felt bad at first. I no longer feel that way and she is thankful she now knows the truth. She still attends to see her life long friends but with eyes wide open.

Good luck! Yes, return and report.

moksha wrote: ↑Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:52 am Que es la FC? Googled FC + Mormon and got no hits.

I believe it's faith crisis.
Yes I have. For my 3 oldest kids. On purpose. Without my husband's permission. Younger 3 will be next. It'll be a freezing day in Hell before I miss my kids' weddings.

I think I played a role in my two brother's investigations which led to faith reevaluation for both.

The irony is that they get Sundays off and I'm still stuck in church.

I don't think I have instigated one, for sure not on purpose but am happy to discuss all topics in a safe environment.

On the flip side, I remember getting a letter from a girl I went to high school with who basically said she joined the church 20 years later because of my Christian example. I feel much worse about that then any influence I may have been in someone's FC.

StarbucksMom wrote: ↑Thu Sep 28, 2017 10:13 am

moksha wrote: ↑Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:52 am Que es la FC? Googled FC + Mormon and got no hits.

I believe it's faith crisis.
Yes I have. For my 3 oldest kids. On purpose. Without my husband's permission. Younger 3 will be next. It'll be a freezing day in Hell before I miss my kids' weddings.

I renewed my temple recommend for my oldest's wedding that is coming up in a few months. But after thinking about it, I'm not sure I will for my younger kids. I mean what do they do in the temple anyway. Its a bad 10 minute ceremony in funny costumes. I have heard that the sealers aren't supposed to give the couple advice like they used to, but to just say the ordinance word for word. I think I'll just encourage to have a ring ceremony before the reception. That is so common these days anyway because of the more and more people who don't want to renew their recommends anymore.

MalcolmVillager wrote: ↑Wed Sep 27, 2017 7:35 pmHave you ever cause a FC for someone else?

Would it be that you "caused" a faith crisis, or exposed them to the truth?

I admit I would actually like to cause one for my dear wife. I suspect that she has had a small one, but she firmly came back to full belief. We maintain a theological armistice in our home and it keeps everything civil.

Corsair wrote: ↑Thu Sep 28, 2017 12:53 pm I admit I would actually like to cause one for my dear wife. I suspect that she has had a small one, but she firmly came back to full belief. We maintain a theological armistice in our home and it keeps everything civil.

I was the cause of my DW's FC. The second I disclosed to her I was having doubts it threw her into cogdis. My own FC was beginning to grow when my X influenced my kids to get out soon after our divorce. Then later it took off again when I learned three long-time friends were out. Then one of my younger brothers was starting his path down the rabbit hole of church historical facts. I started taking my friends to lunch and asking them questions about why they got out. After the fourth conversation I knew I was on the same path and would end up at the same destination.

Ultimately, the decision belongs to your friend. His own life experiences and probably many other things that you may not know..have brought him to this point. Listen to him..be his friend..he will need you now more than ever.

Don't feel guilty. You didn't create any of this one way or the other.

Congratulations for helping someone become more self aware.

I look forward to your report! I wouldn't feel too bad about exposing him to new ideas. If his faith can't withstand a coworker's opinion then is it worth hanging onto?

One of the people I confided in about my FC seems to be working through one now. At the time a couple years ago he was not active, but I didn't know if he believed or not. Now I think he was probably somewhere between Jack and NOM. But he has been re-examining his beliefs and working through the idea that some of them don't make sense. I think my experiences have helped him down the road.

My wife was starting a FC and came to me with questions hoping I could resolve her concerns. I was a year into waking up from my TBM sleep at that point. I unloaded all the issues on her and by the end of the day she was a non believer. One of the best things to ever happen to in our marriage. No regrets at all.

We may directly or indirectly facilitate a FC in others, but the church is complicit... or maybe it's the other way around. My DS checked out (all on his own) a long time ago. MY DW is milling around the rabbit hole but is actually too busy with life to venture in. Someday, perhaps.

I don't know how much any one person can cause a faith crisis. It seems to me most people have a lifetime of experiences and information that ultimately makes the crisis happen. One may help light the match, or produce some additional fuel, but it' really the person. What did it for me wouldn't have done a thing had it happened at another time and place. And as painful as it was, I don't look at my faith crisis as a bad thing - I see it as growing up.

StarbucksMom wrote: ↑Thu Sep 28, 2017 10:13 am Yes I have. For my 3 oldest kids. On purpose. Without my husband's permission. Younger 3 will be next. It'll be a freezing day in Hell before I miss my kids' weddings.

I'd be interested to know more about this. How old were they? And why wait? Was it an actual faith crisis, or more just raising them not to believe in the church? I have young kids, so I'm genuinely interested.

Yes, I was asked by a friend about polygamy, and I answered that I thought it was not of God. My friend questioned how I reconciled JS as prophet. I answered honestly that I have a problem with JS. She asked about BoM, and I said I think it was as true as the Bible. I neglected to say I think the Bible is 3/4 myth/fiction. I was really trying to just end the conversation because I was a closet unbeliever, but I didn't want to out right lie.

Well, she got on the Internet to try to prove that JS was really a perfect prophet and that polygamy is also true. Her testimony failed faster than a person can catch Trump in a lie.

And she hated me for it. The friendship ended very badly.