NOM

I've heard accounts that Bednar is a mean SOB in a lot of areas, and he treats his wife like crap. Is there any truth to this?

When I've seen pictures of her, I see her wearing a mask. She looks immensely unhappy--even depressed in a lot of those pictures.

Maybe, maybe not.

This is much too speculative for my capacity. I'm guessing if you pinned her down, she would say she is happy as a lark. And she probably is happy as she understands what happiness is. She is sealed to an apostle, she is already thinking how to decorate her eternal mansions. Having a loving relationship on this earth might not be a metric in her definition of happiness.

There's plenty of anecdotal evidence in the DAMU that Bednar is mostly a self-righteous prick to pretty much everyone "below" him in the hierarchy. Why would he treat his wife any different?

There are videos of interactions with is wife where it looks like he fits this bill. The recent one where she "almost" violates the "no standing before his excellency" rule, and the one where Bednar tells everyone that homosexuals don't exist are prime examples. She looks miserable in those.

Hard to know for sure, but I can not imagine being married to Bednar would be much fun at all.

Her name is Susan.

I put his on the other thread but I will put it here too:

When I saw them together at BYUI, Susan was always simpering and ditzy. But alone, when she would speak to us girls at RS firesides, she could be mean. She harped on and on about modesty. And she LOOOVVED to slut shame. (well Mormon slut shame, which would probably be better described as modesty shaming.) She like to tell this story about her and her hubby randomly dropping in on students in their apartments. And one time there was a girl who was wearing a tank top and the girl was obviously uncomfortable so she kept pulling couch cushions over to her to cover herself up.

Now that I understand more about abusive relationships, I can see some real red flags in her behavior in front of him verses her behavior without him. In front of him she always tried to appear weak and non-threatening. When she is in front of students (girls who are beneath her status) she is condescending and mean.

I think she is sad. Who wouldn't be? We should make "Free Susan" shirts like the "Free Melania" t-shirts.

Speculating on the happiness of Susan's marriage to David is like wondering if Val Kilmer will ever be an A list Hollywood actor again. Who cares? Ah whom I kidding... Let's speculate!

First of all, if you were female and had to:

1. Wear funny 18th century underwear designed by men;
2. Be expected to stay at home with children your whole young adult life;
3. Live in God forsaken Rexburg Idaho;
4. Travel around the country listening to the same verbatim talks while relief society presidents, primary pianists, and college age coeds all think your husband is dreamy;
5. Play the role of apostle wife, where nobody knows or cares what your name is;
6. Live in Elder Uchtdorf's shadow;

You would probably be an unhappy, frumpy, casserole making, invisible mormon woman too!

I agree with Korihor. I doubt Susan Bednar would ever complain about how she is treated. Without being in the home with them, it would be hard to tell. It might even be hard then. He's almost certainly not physically abusive. Psychological abuse can be hard to identify. And there is always the possibility that David Bednar is a peach of a guy when he's not in front of a congregation. That would be hard for me to believe, but it's possible. It is more likely that he treats his wife much better than he does anyone else.

I have noticed one other thing over the years. In many if not all of Bednar's talks, he starts by praying that the Holy Ghost will carry his words into the hearts of his audience, or something like that. When I have heard Sister Bednar talk, she often starts in a similar way. I don't know that I hear that kind of talk very often from others.

Rob4Hope wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:35 am She looks immensely unhappy--even depressed in a lot of those pictures.

This is what I see in pictures of Melania Trump.

I've entertained the possibility that members of the Q15 are abusive. At the very least, it's statistically possible. I've entertained the possibility of a few of them being on the ASPD spectrum. Also statistically possible. My thoughts haven't skewed toward Bednar, but Monson. I've heard that in private he's not a nice guy.

As I've entertained this possibility, I've realized the likelihood of Frances or Susan or whomever being able to leave is almost non-existent. I'm just about as obscure as it's possible to be and my ward gave me a very hard time. My X2B had abandoned and was deadbeat, among other things, and I could document all of it and they still thought he was a righteous priesthood holder! Imagine one of the wives of the Q15 trying to get free and the massive backlash she would face in doing so. Imagine even hinting that the prophet is unrighteous and his priesthood should have been amened long ago and all the apostles simply turned a blind eye to it?

I'm sure there are many in the DAMU who see massive potential for scandal. My experience is there'd be a massive circling of the wagons. What shelter or what family members, friends or acquaintances could keep an escaped Q15's wife's whereabouts a secret? She would need to be kept safe, not only from her husband, but from the death threats I'm sure she would receive from the more zealous members. Then there are the actual divorce proceedings. There would be few lawyers who would be willing to take her case, and unless she came into the marriage independently wealthy or is an heiress and she managed to keep those funds separate from her husband, she would have a hard time paying for a lawyer.

Now, there could be a powerful, non-member lawyer who is willing to take her case pro-bono. There's also crowd funding. Let's move on to mediation. My mediation proceedings were held at Kirton/Mckonkie any further questions? Then, there's the matter of alimony. In the state of Utah, a woman is entitled to one year of alimony for every year of the marriage if she was a SAHM. It frequently doesn't work out to be that generous. I can't think of too many members, TBM or NOM, who would appreciate their tithing dollars going toward alimony.

Personally, I think there are safeguards and plans behind the scenes. On another thread, there is discussion of security for the GAs. I can see that being extended to the wives in a very clandestine manner. One of those households where one of the guards is stationed in the house and not out front. Doctors who already know to keep things confidential who make any injuries the wives may suffer even more confidential. There might be a wife who doesn't travel with her husband all that much. She might do an unusual number of solo engagements. She might take a lot of trips to help with grand-babies. They could live in separate parts of the house. When they travel, they could have separate rooms and beds. There are ways to hide a couple's near separation.

The reason the wife is there is to sell the idea of enduring marriage. I have absolutely no doubt there are women in that lineup who would really like to leave if they could. I'm not going to say they should leave. Leaving is a very personal decision. The fact that the wives are there to serve as role models for the women, be representatives of the church and give the occasional speech is a lot of the reason, I think the wives should be paid. I'm sure there are at least a few who would rather not be there and it isn't because they're shy.

Give It Time wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:46 pmMy thoughts haven't skewed toward Bednar, but Monson. I've heard that in private he's not a nice guy.

I don't know about you but I was quite disturbed when he joked with the boy participating in a temple cornerstone ceremony about giving the little girl "the back of your hand" is she didn't do it the way he wanted.

And, of course, everybody laughed.

Are we talking normal happiness measured by a bona-fide scale, or are we talking mormon happiness? I'm just asking because according to most mormons the world is not happy; mormons are happy - apart from when Satan is allowed a little playtime with the elect.

I picture most of them as "Stepford Wives" just zombies who go along with the dog and pony show while being pumped with anti-depressants and valium.

Maybe someday we will get a Katie Holmes who wakes up, looks around and successfully escapes the cult. Highly doubtful though. Too much to lose as Give it Time basically said.

Hagoth wrote: ↑Tue Sep 19, 2017 6:54 am

Give It Time wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:46 pmMy thoughts haven't skewed toward Bednar, but Monson. I've heard that in private he's not a nice guy.

I don't know about you but I was quite disturbed when he joked with the boy participating in a temple cornerstone ceremony about giving the little girl "the back of your hand" is she didn't do it the way he wanted.

And, of course, everybody laughed.

Bednar said that? or Monson? Wow!

MoPag wrote: ↑Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:27 am

Hagoth wrote: ↑Tue Sep 19, 2017 6:54 am

Give It Time wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:46 pmMy thoughts haven't skewed toward Bednar, but Monson. I've heard that in private he's not a nice guy.

I don't know about you but I was quite disturbed when he joked with the boy participating in a temple cornerstone ceremony about giving the little girl "the back of your hand" is she didn't do it the way he wanted.

And, of course, everybody laughed.

Bednar said that? or Monson? Wow!

Monson said that during the Gila Valley temple dedication in 2010. His failing mental capacity was becoming more well known and this was one of the manifestations. But he still had a few general conference appearances in him at that point.

crossmyheart wrote: ↑Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:14 am
Maybe someday we will get a Katie Holmes who wakes up, looks around and successfully escapes the cult. Highly doubtful though. Too much to lose as Give it Time basically said.

Can you get excommunicated for making fun of an apostles wife?

Here's David and Susan on their honeymoon!



Here's David and Susan doing yard work!



Here's Susan after a Dodger's game:



Isn't it weird that a google search of Susan Bednar only returns pictures of her by her husbands side? Or at the pulpit. That's strange?

Oh wait here's one:

Here's Susan practicing pushing David out of an airplane!

RR - love your wit and humor!

The baseball one

Oh Gods, that is funny! Look at Bednar's face. I wonder what he was thinking?

I had her pegged as an abused wife years ago. This was before my shelf fell. When she is with him she has that demeanor. Wasn't there a clip somewhere where he was near her and he raised up his arm and she flinched big time? Not knowing them at all but seeing this I instantly got a huge sinking sick feeling. It was a huge red flag for me.

It also looks like she is enjoying, a little too much, the possibility of tampering with his parachute.