NOM

[Bishop First Name],

I resigned my membership from the church today. I wanted to explain why so that you wouldn't feel bad about yourself or about me. I think the world of you and I truly love your family.

I did a lot of reading and about 6 years ago I became convinced that the church wasn't the one true church. This was a gigantic shock to my system because I have been so completely invested for so long. It was truly traumatic for me and I did a ton of reading and praying and studying to check and double check, and triple check, and then check again because it was an extremely inconvenient conclusion for me and my life and my identity. I've literally spent thousands of hours trying to figure this out.

I have not been offended, did not want to partake in any kinds of sins, did not desire a 10% raise, and have been perfectly content serving in the church and otherwise being a member of this community. I especially care about people like you and your family and hope to maintain and continue friendships.

I don't plan to "deconvert" anybody, including my wife and children. I believe that people are drawn to the church because they feel that they need that in their lives and I have no desire to take that away from them. I have held my tongue around the youth and other members for six years and will continue to do so. As you may remember, during that time I have been supportive of [His son's friend and my oldest daughter's current husband], [His son], [His daughter currently on a mission, my second daughter's best friend], and many others on their missions and of my children attending BYU. This will be my continued approach.

I want my children to choose for themselves what is best for them. [Oldest daughter] and [Second oldest daughter] have said that they want to believe. I respect that. I support them and their husbands in the church and will attend church with them and to travel to baby blessings and baptisms. [My 17 yr old son] wants to continue attending seminary and wants to attend BYU. That is OK with me. [My wife] also wants to remain active and I will support her in that for as long as she wants and plan to also come to church occasionally to support her and my children, and to see you and my other dear friends whom I really love. If [my 15 yr old daughter whom is the president of the mia maids that his wife is the YW advisor for] wants to continue to attend young women activities that is also fine with me.

I take finding truth very seriously. I am ready and willing to do whatever God asks of me. I have pleaded for His guidance throughout this process and believe I have received it.

I resigned not to make a statement, or "stick it to the man", or because I was angry. I have been heartbroken, but not angry throughout this whole process. I did it as a sort of ceremony for just myself like a marriage, or a funeral, or a divorce so that I can grieve and move on. I also did it so that you and/or others wouldn't feel guilty about trying to save me since I'm sure you have noticed my waning activity. In fact the fewer people that know about my resignation, the better in my mind. I am writing because I am sure you will find out eventually.

I will continue to welcome and and feed missionaries and home teachers in my home but of course I am well aware of the arguments that they might make to ask me to just believe again and have obviously considered all of the apologist arguments very carefully over this six year investigation and study. I am happy to talk with anyone. We will continue to drive to dances, hold barn dances, and you are welcome to use our home for campfires, or young women activities or whatever you wish, but I hope to not be drawn into theological debates that are not winnable and only damage friendships.

I have a ton of respect and admiration for you and I hope I haven't damaged our long friendship. I'll help you load the tiller whenever you need it [He borrows mine on a regular basis]. I'll keep my eyes open for apples again this fall and let you know [I usually find free apples for him to pick, help him pick them, and he cans them for his family]. And if you need any more drip tubing please let me know . I have tons of it.

Sincerely,
[GoodBoy]

Ghost wrote: ↑Tue Sep 12, 2017 5:12 pm I can't help but wonder how I might have reacted to a friend writing me something like this years ago before I had really questioned things in earnest. It's difficult to say, but it's probably hard to overestimate the shock that might result from just the first sentence.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue Sep 12, 2017 5:59 pm Hey Goodboy! Nice letter and congrats?

How did the wife come to accept your resignation?

The Beast wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:09 am Eloquently well done. I hope it is received with an open mind and heart. All the best to you from the rainy (once again) side.