NOM

Did any of you ever learn or get fed the line that paying your tithing means you won't burn at the 2nd Coming?

And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts.

But more than that, the promises often associated with paying tithing go beyond a fireproof suite for the 2nd coming.

Recently, a fire burned through our neighborhood. I had just enough time that morning to get my sprinklers on, hose down some trees and the side of the house and then bug out as the flames came down the hill three doors down. Three houses were burned to the ground in our hood, including my former bishop's home on the hill behind me. The fire burned my upper yard and through some of the middle of it and down my neighbor's fence line to within 15' of our homes. But other than some shrubs, a couple of garden hoses and some sprinkler heads, our damage was just smoke related. That morning was all hell breaking loose for our family and neighbors but there was no loss of life.

As I look at where the fire jumped around and what it burned the tithing scripture came to mind. I have not paid the COB a dime for about two years now. I did make a recent donation to the Houston folks. Now I don't attribute blessings or cursings or where the fire burns to anything but probability. I don't think fire or any other disaster gives a F**K about how much tithing was paid or how many prayers were said. The statistics back that up.

It does seem like this year we've had more than the usual in fire and weather disasters, but since Katrina, it's been pretty mellow and the overall trends do not support an increase from what I've been able to find. In fact overall numbers for all bad things in the world are trending into greener pastures. But it was also the hottest summer on record for Utah and I don't doubt the negative impacts of global warming, especially on the coastal regions.

The TBMs will continue to attribute all things in their lives to blessings or being tested because they are super special. I can only imagine what the F&TM meeting was like in the the local wards this past Sunday and I'm glad I did not have to attend.

Funny side story - It was a stressful time at the MILs, wrangling our pets from peeing on her new carpet; we were evacuated for three days. Also, no beer or other fun because MIL is still a TBM and does not know that we are not. After we and finally go to go home, I was destressing with a couple of beers and a shot of whiskey, hosing down my trees out front because there were still hot spots to deal with in the hood. I was buzzing pretty good, feeling much better about life when the EQP and his assistant walked up the driveway to chat. I don't honestly know how the conversation went and honestly I didn't care because I was just so happy to be home to a home that was still standing.

Between the concerned ward members and all the government and volunteers from the Red Cross, FEMA, fire department, police, etc., there were many more of them than there was victims. It's one of the reasons I do like living where I do, even if I'm an infidel.

I'm glad to hear your house came out relatively unscathed! Hopefully your neighbors can pick up the pieces ok.

The whole "Tithe or burn for sure" as they taught as in scripture mastery is ridiculous. It helps us improperly judge each other at the worst times, and makes not having a disaster a faith promoting experience.

I used to think this way. I never bought into the fire insurance idea, but if I paid tithing my furnace wouldn't break or I would avoid danger on the freeway. You gotta earn the right for guardian angels to protect you, those guys don't work for free.

"[H]e that is tithed shall not be burned at his [God's] coming." D&C lxiv: 23

The fire insurance angle was absolutely taught to me in all seriousness.

For the record I'm convinced the 2nd coming is definitely NOT happening but if it did happen and I was burning, I would laugh at all the suckers who paid tithing. I mean, I'm still getting resurrected and I'll be skiing and mountain biking with my immortal body instead of doing temple work or singing in some shitty ward choir for eternity.

Yeah, I heard this all the time from my seminary teaching...fire insurance.
I think if we knew all the things tithing went to we would say screw the fire insurance.