NOM

Child abuse is a societal plague that we have learned more about in the last several decades. When the Church has faced claims of child abuse at the courthouse, the great majority of these claims occurred decades ago, when society and the Church understood far less about abuse. The Church has always been concerned for the welfare of children: and as awareness of the scourge of child abuse has grown in society, the Church has been at the forefront of efforts to combat it.

"when society and the Church understood far less about abuse"

Give It Time wrote: ↑Thu Aug 17, 2017 5:05 pm NBI, you just come over here and sit by me. You're not alone in your views. You know you're not.

Palerider wrote: ↑Thu Aug 17, 2017 8:59 pm Abusers are basically frustrated, emotionally immature, cowardly bullies who can't handle the stress that comes with being an adult.

moksha wrote: ↑Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:57 am

Palerider wrote: ↑Thu Aug 17, 2017 8:59 pm Abusers are basically frustrated, emotionally immature, cowardly bullies who can't handle the stress that comes with being an adult.

I think they come in well-adjusted flavors as well as all flavors in between. Acting out in an inappropriate manner is a universal problem, not limited the "those" kind of people. People are sexual and will behave in all sorts of manners under the right circumstances. What is needed is a frank discussion in an open and non-judgmental way on how to resist certain temptations that all can be subjected to. It is the hidden and secretive nature of human sexual acting out that needs to be discussed. Hopefully, people who are abusers can see what is going on and get a handle on it. That cannot happen if it cannot be discussed ahead of time. It needs to be approached in a we fashion rather than a you fashion.

Of course, this will never happen, but it is worth talking about.

Palerider wrote: ↑Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:09 am Moksha and GIT:

I think I respectfully disagree with what you are describing here.

The type of people you're talking about; the deviant and the sociopath respectively, aren't your garden variety of abuser. They don't need time to "mature". They need to be incarcerated.
Unfortunately many of them are intelligent and crafty enough to stay out of jail because they know and fear the law, not because they want to change their behavior. They aren't "well adjusted" they're just very smart and manipulative.

It is still a matter of emotional maturity in the sense that the sociopath lacks the ability to empathize with the "other's" pain and the deviant cannot put another's needs (for safety, security) ahead of his own desires. For them "it's all about me."

I think you're really talking about sick puppies if I understand what you have described correctly. An exception might, MIGHT be a juvenile as far as secretive sexual behavior but if that continues uncorrected into adulthood, I think the chances of permanent behavioral change diminish greatly.

Severing ties with sociopaths and deviants isn't an unhealthy solution.

As my wife says, "When you argue with a lunatic you enter into their craziness. What you really want to do is take a big step back."

ETA: Looking back at the original church article in the OP I realize this is the more likely kind of abuser being described.