Feeling angry. No one to blame but myself...

[blind_nom_ore]

I don't post or read often. In many ways I just wish mormonism wasn't part of my life so I've kind of moved past the online communities, podcasts, etc. I tend to only come back when I feel angry, stuck, etc. So sorry in advance for ranting to all you who don't know me (pretty much everyone).

Background: Currently, attend about 3 times a month, at most 1 time to sacrament, and I sit in the hall for classes. IOW, I'm an inactive at church. I don't know many people since i've been this way since I moved here. I don't go to class because at best I'm bored out of my mind. At worse, I feel great anxiety thinking about all the things I should say but really shouldn't. I only go at all because my wife wishes it so.

Rant: EQ teacher sent out an anonymous survey. Asked questions like how often you read scriptures, pray, whether you've had faith crisis, whether parents are active, to rate testimony, what your biggest concerns are that cause you doubts, and what advice you have for others in overcoming doubts. I thought it interesting and wondered if the teacher possibly had been through a FC, though I doubted it. I filled out the survey and went to class assuming it would be an echo chamber for apologetic rhetoric. The teacher went down the questions one by one revealing each answer as an average of the total received. When he got to the question about specific doubts he blatantly said, we weren't going to discuss the answers or the issues, and moved on to strengthening testimonies. It was pretty much as expected. People doubt because they are lax in their prayer/scriputre study. Satan wants to deceive us. Bringing up doubts at church is not appropriate except maybe if the reason isn't simply to bring it up or to convince anyone. The solution is to pray and look for answers in the scriptures, but to make sure not to use the internet (You just can't make this stuff up people!) I left after about 10 mins of this stuff, as I just couldn't stay without saying something to get myself in trouble. And I left angry, and still feel angry, and I'm not even entirely sure why. I don't think it wen any differently then expected other than not talking about issues people were having. I guess I just wanted to know what people struggled with, what things people knew about, and that desire was denied. Sigh...can't wait for the day to be done with this $#!+

[Linked]

Rant on Br. NOM-ore!

The intellectual dishonesty of the church is one of the things that drives me crazy too. If your EQ teacher is going to explore a topic, then explore the freaking topic! Don't go halfway, and then avoid the conclusions that the information leads to. Do mormons love truth or not?!

Hang in there. Maybe you could ask to be the Sunbeams teacher, those lessons are far more palatable.

[BriansThoughtMirror]

Seriously. Those ideas make me madder than just about anything else.

[Ghost]

I recently attended an EQ lesson kind of like this, only with a class discussion rather than a survey. One guy commented that we need to be careful not to oversimplify the reasons people struggle with their faith.

Ever since then, I've been wondering how heterodox that guy might be. I made a point later to awkwardly tell him that I appreciated his comment, but I'm too much of an introvert and too wary of tipping my hand to say anything more.

[SeeNoEvil]

BNOre welcome! You landed in the right place! At some point you will have to tell us more about your story.

You have every right to be angry! I cringe when I hear stuff like this though it is pretty normal for the church. It's pretty clear cut for Mormons.... those who question are just plain lazy and let Satan get a hold of them. Nothing gets me wound up more than to hear this. They.have.no.idea how hard and traumatic this is. The problem with religion in general, especially Mormonism is that it shrinks our understanding and knowledge breeding the misunderstanding that there can be no another way other than Mormonism and we can't be happy without it. Mormons are taught one single truth and that is they have in their possession the "truth" and all of the answers anyone ever needs to know. After all we have God's exclusive super duper plan of happiness and people who question must either be crazy, lazy or fooled by Satan. Why would anyone want to leave all this warm fuzzy happiness? Why deeply discuss what the doubters are finding out when in their eyes we who question have the problem, not them? One of the tragedies of Mormonism is that it made me blind, stupid and ignorant. But I try to forgive them and myself because you can't know what you don't know.

[blind_nom_ore]

Thanks Peeps! There's just something cathartic in the telling of experiences. Anyone from Lehi in the group!? Anyone!!!???

[SeeNoEvil]

Thanks Peeps! There's just something cathartic in the telling of experiences. Anyone from Lehi in the group!? Anyone!!!???

There is a pretty active group of exmo's in that area. Sadly yet happily I moved far, far away from Utah last year but when there I attended the group that meets at Harmons on Sunday just over the point of the mountain. Great bunch of people! You will find tons of support there. Bishop Hermey is the best and always there to keep control of the loud laughter! Very informal. I think they still meet there .... You'll find more information in the Gatherings, Events and Announcement section of this forum under St. Judas the 1st ward meet up, or pm Hermey.