NOM

Serious question: what does the celestial world of an eternal family look like? Is it you, your mate and your children frozen at the “perfect” time of your life? Are you in your 27 year old body with eternally obedient, cute toddlers who vacuum their rooms and never fight or is everyone 27 but they just obey like they should?

Fair questions. Part of the allure of your family being together forever is that the lack of information allows you to create a fantasy world where everything and everyone is perfect. Children obey, faults disappear, harmony rules, illusion is king as you live the eternal Cheerio’s commercial. However, if everyone is a grownup how does the celestial family look; is there disagreement and contention? If there is no contention is freewill suppressed? Be honest with yourself and suddenly you realize that the eternal family is “The Dick Van Dyke Show” or “Leave it to Beaver”. Nuclear. Peaceful. Patriarchal.

Boring.

Where’s the drama and spice; opposition makes things interesting and we “can’t know the bitter without the sweet” so life being eternally placid sounds a bit boring. Is the eternal family actually “Ozzie and Harriet’s Celestial Crack House” where we’re all forever blissful and sedate or is it more? And what if your earthly family is a bunch of dicks; are you trapped with them? Do they have eternal claim on you? Sorry, rules at some house read: “If Uncle Bill turns up, don’t answer the door, call 911 and hide in the cast iron bathtub, the CAST IRON one.” Is Bills basic nature going to change? Is he not going to want to see other people suffer?

Yikes.

Sell the sizzle not the steak! You’ll be with family forever! Lost and gone will be restored and after earth life will be a long episode of “Seventh Heaven” sans conflict and abusive star. Has anyone ever discussed the Mormon afterlife and advanced past polygamy to the nitty gritty of everyday life. All I know is there will be TONS of missionary work to do and the poor bastards on earth are going to be 24/7 365 busy getting dunked for all the folks we’ll be converting. Do we eat? Or work? Do all those single folks date? Is there mandatory Choir practice? What if I’m teaching Scarlett Johannson and I have an impure thought? Are there yearly, monthly or weekly interviews? Is it a celestial Sandals or is it pay your way? So many questions.

Remember how your “different” LDS friend cornered you with the pill you put in your gas tank for 100 mpg or the thing that bolted on below your card to do the same thing? You asked how it worked and they said “Don’t know it just does!” And you asked, “Have you got one in your car” and they said “Hot yet! Have to find 5 investors to get my free one!” What is LDS post life like? Are there any prophetic writings that detail our after mortal experience? Help?

The whole idea of the perfect, celestial afterlife falls apart with a little critical thinking. If I'm with my wife and children, does that mean neither myself or my wife can be part of our respective parents' eternal family. And what about my children? If they married, will their spouses be part of my family, or will my kids be part of their spouses' families? I can't think of a way that this would work. I mean, it would just be a mob of people related by genetics or marriage. Even if you liked everyone, it would still be tiresome. So much for the ideal "forever family."

What's the average age of the Q-15?

In the LDS Corporate, celestial afterlife, everyone is that age.

Every male dresses like one of the Q-15. Every female dresses like one of the Q-15's wives. (Plural, of course.)

Time is spent in endless (useless) meetings, and doing the Temple LARP.


The billions, and billions, and billions, and billions of the rest of us? (Fade to black...)

Perhaps you are able to multi-linearly experience different slices of Mormon life, from the birth of your own world, to eternal family home evenings with your family of origin and family of procreation. Maybe even a yearly family reunion with all ten billion of them on the resort Planet Risa.

Imagine that every weekend is General Conference. Except that it is a higher celestial law of General Conference, which has 3 sessions every day except Sunday, which has only 2. Women's session is on Monday morning at 6AM, and Priesthood sessions are 6PM Tue-Sat. Instead of angels wearing white robes, everyone is milling around in garments, 19th century style.


More seriously, I interpret concepts like eternity and forever to mean unbounded, in a mathematical sense. For example, every prime numbered month is one you spend with your mom's side of the family. You will never say good-bye to your family forever, though the gaps in between will vary, and you will never leave entirely.

As far as total perfection, that cannot be the case because the boredom involved would mean God is stupid. (Or else He is stupid, or He doesn't exist). I imagine it to be more like a great college experience, where you get to pick what you want to do, and spend time with friends who are interested in the same things.

As for scripture, nothing has any good details that I know of. I have personally embraced the NDE literature and one unique personal spiritual experience that I would best describe as a "vision" as rough indicators that there is something going on, either an afterlife or a species-wide hallucination, both quite unlikely. Some research (peer-reviewed books on the subject) might be of interest to you.



My turn to ask questions :
- Where do all the kids go? Are there no more kids? Do we end up with infants on thrones? Does nobody ever get to hold a child anymore?
- Is there any reason for the next life to be any more eternal than this one? Do we only ever die once?

Imagine being able to eat all the chocolate and marshmallow sundaes with macadamia nuts you can hold and not gain weight. Imagine your adoring and willing wife changing her countenance between Scarlet Johansson, Jessica Alba, and Joseph Smith at your whim.

All I ever hear is during the millennium we will all be missionaries. I've done that once. It is nauseating to think about doing it again in the afterlife. No thanks. I'm going to invent my own post death life. Why not? All the other ones are just inventions. The reality is nobody knows, especially the Mormon church.

moksha wrote: ↑Fri Jul 28, 2017 7:13 pm Perhaps you are able to multi-linearly experience different slices of Mormon life, from the birth of your own world, to eternal family home evenings with your family of origin and family of procreation. Maybe even a yearly family reunion with all ten billion of them on the resort Planet Risa.

I'd like to see a commercial for the resort Planet Risa.

2bizE wrote: ↑Sat Jul 29, 2017 6:06 pmI'm going to invent my own post death life. Why not? All the other ones are just inventions. The reality is nobody knows, especially the Mormon church.

True that we're clueless about reality - that's one truth I'd testify of.
Yeah, really, why not invent your own post death life?
Why not invent your own God? We do anyway - to some degree -might as well just take the bull by the horns.
What's the best thing your imagination can come up with?

The best faithful answer I could have given you was that there is clearly something vital and meaningful that needs to be done. We are not advanced enough or spiritual enough to comprehend what it will be like. Obviously this leaves out a lot of details and makes it look suspiciously like a shady, get-rich-quick investment. I suppose that something about families and eternal increase would also be involved, but this summons too many politically sensitive topics. As long as the spectre of polygamy haunts LDS culture we can't be given additional details about the after life, especially since LDS leadership can't even establish if there is only one Heavenly Mother.