Kevorkian (Trigger Warning)

[achilles]

Jack Kevorkian was the son of Armenian immigrants. He became a pathologist and advocate of "the right to die". He claimed to have helped 130 people with physician-assisted suicide. He was called "Dr. Death" in the press, and ended up being convicted of second-degree murder, serving eight years of a 25-year sentence.

He exclaimed "Dying is not a crime."

I think I understand him now. Back then, I saw him as a horrible person, but I was young and healthy and had never faced or watched severe illness or death. I have had three dogs euthanized, and have finally begun to wonder "If it really is the 'good death' for them, why not for us? Aren't we as deserving as our beloved pets of choosing our time and circumstances of death?"

I realize this is a very sensitive topic. I spent the past day with my mother in the hospital. She is not doing well. She had a breathing tube for eleven days and is having to relearn how to eat, swallow, etc. She had a bad day today, and her nephrologists are concerned. She and my father had a talk. She doesn't want a breathing tube again. She definitely doesn't want dialysis again. Is this it?

I want the good death for myself, when the time comes. I have considered moving to a state where this is legal. I realize, however, that my situation at the time I decide I have no more quality of life, my doctors might not agree. I might not have a terminal diagnosis. Will I need a Jack Kevorkian?

[didyoumythme]

I have always found this topic interesting, and I actually took an ethics class at BYU that helped me realize how difficult some of these "ethical dilemmas" can be. With the advanced state of medicine, people can be kept alive long past normal. "Alive" and "normal" are of course subjective, which makes these questions difficult. Keeping a person on life support in a vegetative, unconscious state for the sake of drawing out life as long as possible seems unnecessary.

This week I read a news story about a man that had a heart attack, and his heart stopped beating for 40 min before he was revived with no lasting effects. First responders talked about how after 20-30 min of CPR they usually consider stopping because they don't necessarily want to revive a person just so they can live as a vegetable. When is the right time to stop CPR? Another ethical dilemma. There aren't always easy answers. Holding so firmly to "thou shalt not kill" that people suffer even more doesn't seem ethical either.

[trophywife26.2]

First of all, I'm very sorry you are having to go through this with a family member. It is difficult.

This is a very interesting topic.

My grandmother suffered a brain tumor and a surgery that was meant to help her left her basically in a vegetative state for several years. My mother (her daughter) said to me several times, "If I ever get like this, just shoot me." I was a preteen. It was a very odd experience. It was unsettling knowing how my mother felt about it, knowing I would clearly never honor those wishes by "just shooting her", and wondering what my maternal grandmother would have thought of it all if she only had her wits about her to tell us?

In an tragic twist of events my mother has struggled with addiction and mental illness for the past 10 years. In a way, her true authentic self has been lost to me these past 10 years, much in the same way her mother was lost to her for several years. What would the younger version of my mother think of her life now?

Life is complex. A few more reminders to cherish each day and what we have with our loved ones while we still can. Sending love to you, your mother, and the rest of your family.

[Thoughtful]

I believe adults should have a right to choose to end their own life in certain cases.

I believe we as LDS culture are basically terrified of death and grief and refuse to acknowledge or process either. Instead, we talk about how special and blessed we are to know that we don't need to deal with either issue. We give these speeches at funerals in hopes that the inactive or nonmember family will realize they can avoid processing death or grieving too if they are like us.

I've been to way too many LDS funerals lately and I'm feeling very uncomfortable with them as I people watch and realize how disjointed emotionally it forces people to wait, in limbo.

It's super unhealthy.

As I've worked in treatment for depression and suicidality, as well as a few spiritual experiences in which I've realized death is not the end, I personally feel a great deal of peace around the idea of dying and certainly consider it preferable to ongoing suffering (though I acknowledge that some suffering is actually beneficial but that's a different topic). However, I'm terrified about the idea of my children and how they would cope, and I being a good LDS so have issues with grief or the idea of putting my children and spouse man through that. However, I've also seen what care giving for cancer is like and I can't say that's better than grief either...

[moksha]

Speaking only for myself, I wish the services of euthanasia were available when it is our time to go. I understand the wishes of loved ones to extend the time left, but the pain and suffering required just to postpone the inevitable seems a lot to ask of the dying person.