NOM

So... I have had a somewhat confusing experience.

I am currently in Japan on a vacation. I am with a friend who is at an engineering conference. She wanted to go to church yesterday, so I found a ward close to a subway station and we went.

And... It was a good experience. I felt the Spirit. Or something. It was a heartfelt warmth that I could feel all over. Was it the Spirit? Was it the vibe coming from a place where people love, serve, and sacrifice for one another? I don't know. It was testimony meeting. And the testimonies were, well, nice to hear.

And yet I don't believe this is the "one true church" anymore. But it is a spiritual language that I know. And it seemed so strange to try to keep it at a distance when I was there, with the people of Japan whom I spent so many months serving and trying to mentor spiritually.

I can't go back to church and maintain my dignity as a non-believing, gay man. But it was heartwarming to have such an experience. And I have so many memories of this city from my younger days as a mormon missionary.

Life is full of contradictions, is it not?

Yes Achilles my guess is many of us are so conflicted. I went yesterday also . It was of course testimony meeting. I often enjoy them and feel the warmth and love that is often evident in testimony meetings . I also when to Sunday School. I know everyone in the class well and like them . The lesson was ,as usual, superficial and at times misleading . The instructor talked about the amazing growth of the church in Europe as opposed to the decline of other Christian religions. I decided not to be disruptive and say anything. Then when to High Priests where we were going to see a video replay of a talk President Munson gave in April Conference and discuss it. I quickly made my excuses ( my wife is sick - which was true ) and when home and spent some very satisfying time with the scriptures.. When I was a kid we use to distinguish between the gospel and the church. We all understood that the gospel was true while the church was a defective construct populated with remarkably fallible people. In fact we use to say the church's purpose was to teach us tolerance and love unfeigned which we could get only by hanging in the church. Thanks to correlation it has gotten way worse. Prsident McKay told H.B.Lee if it were ever instituted it would destroy the church. A good example of a modern day prophesy that has come to pass. It is difficult to navigate but it does provide us with an opportunity to strengthen the weak knees and lift the arms that hang down if we are willing . But it does require for people like you and me remarkable patience and tolerance. And of course if you are gay it is tripley difficult. Good luck in your journey.

That sounds awesome Achilles Kyodai. I went to Japan too and am very jealous, thanks for sharing your experience.

I still go to church every week for my wife and wish I were doing something else when I am there, but going in Japan would be wonderful. Enjoy the rest of your trip!

Love the description of your experience.

For me personally, I believe that it is perfectly reasonable - even logical - for people to have these "spiritual" experiences, even if you don't believe in the spirit. I'm atheist and I have similar "spiritual" experiences all the time. I am attending Sunday services fairly regularly once again, and often I'll come away with a warm and fuzzy. Usually it's because of the people at the Church - most of whom I consider "GOOD" people! But not once has that warm and fuzzy feeling made me reconsider my position on the Church itself. I still believe that organized religion is a man-made phenomenon and not something directed by some Deity.

Achilles wrote: And... It was a good experience. I felt the Spirit. Or something. It was a heartfelt warmth that I could feel all over. Was it the Spirit? Was it the vibe coming from a place where people love, serve, and sacrifice for one another? I don't know. It was testimony meeting. And the testimonies were, well, nice to hear.

That great you had this opportunity. I can't remember the last time I went to church, maybe 3 or 4 years ago. Last year I moved near my sister and her husband. They were telling me about their ward and it sounds similar. Their ward sounds warm and welcoming, where the talks are more bible based and less on JS and BOM. Definitely much different than their old ward. I have been half tempted to attend but don't think I want to go that route again since I have resigned. Besides I get my spiritual fix every day just walking outside! But it is good you did and now have that wonderful memory of Japan.

Achilles wrote: And... It was a good experience. I felt the Spirit. Or something. It was a heartfelt warmth that I could feel all over. Was it the Spirit? Was it the vibe coming from a place where people love, serve, and sacrifice for one another? I don't know. It was testimony meeting. And the testimonies were, well, nice to hear.

That's great you had this opportunity. I can't remember the last time I went to church, maybe 3 or 4 years ago. Last year I moved near my sister and her husband. They were telling me about their ward and it sounds similar. Their ward sounds warm and welcoming, where the talks are more bible based and less on JS and BOM. Definitely much different than their old ward. I have been half tempted to attend but don't think I want to go that route again since I have resigned. Besides I get my spiritual fix every day just walking outside! But it is good you did and now have that wonderful memory of Japan.