Big steps

[Raylan Givens]

Discussions with DW have been good lately. Our conversations have a different feel...

I recently discussed with her tithing. I felt that when I pay, I have no idea where it goes- it is now really starting to bother me. I told her since we attend we should contribute something, but I think it is not deserving of the full 10% (net for us).

I do think we should give 10% of our income to something. I feel we are very fortunate and have more opportunities and comforts than many. So we discussed putting some of our tithing towards organizations where we can see the difference being made.

I have a few ideas where to put it and websites where I can find more. Perhaps you could share some of your favorite charitable groups/people?

Overall, discussions with DW have been good. I think we are stepping toward big changes. Oldest is turning eight in a few years, I think that is accelerating the pace of things.

[Linked]

That is great to hear things have been going well for you and DW lately!

As for tithing, I'm in a similar boat. Some of the options for charity I have been kicking around are:

• Homeless shelters
• Food bank
• Public radio or TV that I benefit from
• Wikipedia (I really like what it has done and the democratization of knowledge that it stands for)
• I have asked the bishop if there are people in the ward I can help at Christmas time, then I can help with no strings attached
• I am considering sending a kid from our ward to scout camp this year
• Disaster funds as they are needed, though I worry about the majority of the money funding the overhead of the non-profits rather than the disaster

[SeeNoEvil]

What about 10% going towards a nice family vacation, college fund .... retirement? I know this might seem selfish to some but there is no better way to invest in life than to take care of your own family and friends. You could also work together as a family at the soup kitchen, clean up an elderly or disabled persons house, yard, etc. Look around your own community, there are lots of programs all needing volunteers. I think this is great you and your wife are able to talk about this. Congrats on the "Big Steps!"

[Just This Guy]

DW and I rake turns donating to various charities. Look around and see what in your community could use some help. We try to keep as much local as we can, but we do support some national things. It can be very fun to research groups to see what they do and how they help. We prefer to help our community.

Some suggestions:
Local food bank
Local homeless shelter
Local volunteer firefighter/ambulance companies
Local animal shelter (Avoid the ASPCA. Their lack of actual animal help is sickening for what they take in.)
Various school programs
Local history groups
Local Habitat for Humanity (These groups can vary wildly in how they handle things and what homes the build. Do your research.)
Local Red Cross and other emergency relief.
Local CERT team.
Veterans support services

There are plenty of options out there. Don't be afraid to get creative with it and look outside the traditional charities. I find that some of the things that you don't commonly think of are some of the ones that need the most help.

[Nowyoutellme]

Our adjustment to how and to what organizations we pay our tithing is one of the most pleasant byproduct of our family's church evolution.
We still give a small amount to the church anonymously using a charitable gift fund. The remainder goes to both local groups and individuals that need help and/or do a great job supporting causes in which we believe. Our children are old enough to give input and suggestion to the process, I think it has helped them develop the skill set of looking around and seeing ways they can help others in their individual daily lives. One of my favorite new traditions is during the Thanksgiving - Christmas season to review the groups and people our family has been blessed to be able to help and support that year.
One other side note is that I think it is equally if not more important to give our support in time and volunteer hours to groups and individuals that need help. Money can never replace a smile or a hug or sweat labor in work and effort for those in need. Becoming involved in these organizations also is a great way to get away from the incestueous type serve that the church is know for while also allowing us to meet new and wonderful people with similar interests.

[Raylan Givens]

Great ideas. I am looking toward organizations now that I can contribute both in time and resources. I really like your idea about involving the kids, they are young now- but this is good for a future time.

[Hagoth]

I'm a semi-retired fulltime student now, so no income, but in my last few years of tithing payment my wife and I decided to split our 10% and each give our half it to whatever cause felt right to us. I gave to various charities like Drop in the Bucket (water for Africa) and the Moran Eye Center for third world sight restoration surgery. I also gave some to podcasts and other critical thinking educational projects. Mrs. Hagoth still gave some to the church, but started considering that it also counts as tithing to help friends in need. She continues to do that on her own part-time income.

I can't tell you how much better I felt when I was giving money that actually helped people who weren't already sitting on a pile of mall-building money.

Good luck!

p.s. It really helped to read Matthew 25 together and discuss the difference between giving to "the least of these" and giving to a wealthy organization. I proposed a scenario where I'm standing before the judgement seat and God says "did you feed me when I was hungry, give me water when I was thirsty, clothe me when I was naked?" I answer, "well, I gave ten percent to the LDS church!" He says, "Are you going to make me repeat myself?"

[Just This Guy]

p.s. It really helped to read Matthew 25 together and discuss the difference between giving to "the least of these" and giving to a wealthy organization. I proposed a scenario where I'm standing before the judgement seat and God says "did you feed me when I was hungry, give me water when I was thirsty, clothe me when I was naked?" I answer, "well, I gave ten percent to the LDS church!" He says, "Are you going to make me repeat myself?"

I like that way of looking at it.

[Newme]

Great ideas. I am looking toward organizations now that I can contribute both in time and resources. I really like your idea about involving the kids, they are young now- but this is good for a future time.

I had been helping our kids set aside tithing for a while (I put each's tithing in a zip lock bag with a note : "Tithing for poor" & a picture for my younger ones to understand). Then, I took them to a donation place for Foster kids (explaining it) & they donated their tithes there.

They also helped me give kind of random & to a school & orphanage in a "poor" country.

Charity navigator can help you know if & how finances are transparent.
https://www.charitynavigator.org

We, as a family, also volunteered with United Way.