NOM

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 10:27 am Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.

I'm tired of directly hearing that people who leave are taking the easy way out. As if to justify behavior considered taboo by mormon standards. It's ironic when the founding fathers of Mormonism were completely sexist, racist, and immoral.

"By the time you hit your early 20s, you've had reinforced for you what you've always feared — I must not be very cute or attractive or funny," she says. "Whatever it is that attracts guys. I still haven't figured that out yet. You see all your friends getting married, every size and shape of friend gets married but you. It internalizes in you that there must be something defective in you, . . . but at some point you have to come to terms with who you are in life. I can tell you when it started, but it's been a long, long process."

She came close to getting married once. She was in her mid-30s, and she was dating a man steadily. True to their religion, they decided they would fast and pray separately about whether they should marry. By the end of the weekend her suitor revealed that he didn't want to marry her — instead, he was going to marry her best friend and roommate, whom he had been dating unbeknownst to her.

Dew has never shared this publicly, although friends are more forthcoming. Ask Dew about it and she says, "I thought it would result in marriage. As it turned out it would not have been a good match, but it was the way it happened. That was such a painful part of my life. But I don't want to hurt those people. I still care about them."

desertrat wrote:So... ya. Thank MIL. That was very touching, thoughtful, and helpful. Now that I think about it, she is right. After those 10 years of so of reading tens of thousands of pages of "faithful" sources and original documents, continuing to pay thousands, giving up 1/3 of my vacation to spend babysitting 12-year-old boys who want to play minecraft instead of camp, facing loosing my family, friends, disapproval of everyone I know, hurting business relationships by declining drinks offered by my foreign clients, .... yes, I was a bit lazy. And since I now enjoy beer and coffee, yes, I suppose it was that and not my conceince demanding that I cease to support bigotry, sexual discrimination and abuse, white supremacy, etc. Instead of asking why a loving God would command JS to decieved his wife and sleep with her married friends behind her back, I should have asked... sorry, I've got nothing. I can't possibly come up with a "faithful" way of posing that question. Where is the vomit emoji when you need one....

Not Buying It wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 10:34 am

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 10:27 am Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.

I'm tired of directly hearing that people who leave are taking the easy way out. As if to justify behavior considered taboo by mormon standards. It's ironic when the founding fathers of Mormonism were completely sexist, racist, and immoral.

There isn't a single woman over 40 in the Church with a better chance of getting married than Sherri Dew. I think she is single because she wants to be. And I'm not judging her choice, I don't really care, she can stay single forever and more power to her. But with her powerful connections (besties with the future Prophet's wife) and status in the Church, I don't think it is feasible to say that there hasn't ever been anyone interested in marrying her. She says we are lazy and just want to sin - is she lazy and just doesn't want to get married?

EDITED TO ADD - Sounds horribly sexist, I know. But since she is throwing rocks I thought I'd throw some back. She evidently has no problem judging our situations.

Rob4Hope wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 2:40 pm There is a book called: "Standing For Something More" by Lyndon Lamborn.

He gets into some of the psychology of cult thinking, and I found it fascinating. There are a LOT of reason why your MIL is not only unwilling to see your point of view, she is actually UNABLE to see it.

Not much you can do. At this point, unless something rattles her and she introspects and shifts her position, you have lost the battle.

My $0.02

redjay wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 2:46 am But what a wonderful name for a vegas showgirl: Sheri Dew.

achilles wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 5:06 pm

redjay wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 2:46 am But what a wonderful name for a vegas showgirl: Sheri Dew.

♫You have to understand the way I am, mein Herr♫

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 10:27 am Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.

After telling a story of one girl who "fought for her testimony" and another who doubted, decided to not live the law of chastity and got pregnant, she summarized: "One girl's questions propelled her to become a seeker of truth. The other girl used her questions to justify her immorality."

"I recently engaged in a wrestle. When the policy was announced that the children of gay parents might not be eligible for baptism at age eight, I was confused. I did not question the Brethren or doubt their inspiration, but neither did I understand the doctrinal basis for the policy. So I asked the Lord to teach me. I prayed, searched the scriptures, studied the teachings of prophets, and pondered my question in the temple. This went on for several months. Then one day a colleague made a statement that sparked a new thought for me, and in that moment the Spirit illuminated the doctrine in my heart and mind. I consider that answer personal revelation and not something I should teach."

See, even I have to "wrestle." When the church put out a heinous policy in direct opposition with several of Christ's teachings , I was like What But then I decided I love the Brethren and all the insanity that spews forth from their geriatric mouths more than I love Jesus and little children so I was like screw it. Oh and someone may have told me something but I'm not gonna tell you what it was Because why would I do that? It's not like I'm giving a talk about helping those who question....oh wait...

"Questions are good if they are inspired questions, asked in faith, and asked of credible sources where the Spirit will direct and confirm the answer."

We can't tell you not to ask questions. The media would have a field day with that: "Mormons don't let members ask questions" So the new plan is to condition, shame and manipulate you into asking questions we can handle. Eventually you will be so afraid of asking a wrong question you just won't ask. Problem solved.

"None of us are entitled to revelation without effort on our part."

"The Lord wants us to ask every probing question we can muster because not asking questions can be far more dangerous than asking them.[xvii] In other words, sin makes you stupid-and so does refusing to seek after truth."

"As seekers of truth, our safety lies in asking the right questions, in faith, and of the right sources-meaning those who only speak truth: such as the scriptures, prophets, and the Lord through the Holy Ghost."

"Doubting is not synonymous with having questions. To doubt is to reject truth and faith."

"Seekers have certain habits that are key to learning to communicate with God. For starters, they engage in the wrestle, meaning they work at it. They immerse themselves regularly in the scriptures, because the scriptures are the textbook for the Lord's language. They also work to be increasingly pure-pure in their heart and thoughts, pure in what they say, watch, read, and listen to."

"I invite you to decide today that you will pay the price to wrestle with difficult questions, to become lifetime seekers of truth, to learn to speak the Lord's language, and to receive a witness of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel."

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue May 16, 2017 10:27 am Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.