NOM

Hey NOM hope you all have a Happy Mother's Day.

Just came to say I hope you do not buy the message from the church today about the fetishization of sacrifice to an unhealthy level. It's great to appreciate women and mothers, but it's even better to have healthier and more realistic expectations about motherhood than what the church often sells us, e.g. women are not perfect, we have tempers, we are sexual beings, we like to be alone on occasion, we don't like doing your laundry, we might like a career, we have goals and personhood outside of motherhood, etc.

Just my two cents.

If you women were at church today I hope you didn't leave feeling like you aren't good enough which is how I always felt on Mother's Day. If you were a man at church today I hope you didn't feel pressure to parade around your love for your wife on a bizarre pedestal. Mother's Day is a bit weird. Mothers are great, we need them, but they are also human and should be allowed to be human.

I hope you all had a great day whatever you were doing and whatever your expectations were for the day.

You just said exactly what I've been thinking today. I've always hated Mother's Day and only in the last few years did it occur to me that it's the church's fault. Totally unrealistic expectations and saccharine garbage about angels, when I knew that my mother was far from perfect and that I am far from perfect.

Spent last night looking at scrapbooks with my soon-to-graduate son. That's my idea of what Mother's Day should be like.

Thanks for your thoughts. ☺

Jinx wrote: ↑Sun May 14, 2017 1:03 pm You just said exactly what I've been thinking today. I've always hated Mother's Day and only in the last few years did it occur to me that it's the church's fault. Totally unrealistic expectations and saccharine garbage about angels, when I knew that my mother was far from perfect and that I am far from perfect.

Spent last night looking at scrapbooks with my soon-to-graduate son. That's my idea of what Mother's Day should be like.

Thanks for your thoughts. ☺

I hate Mother's Day! Good to hear I'm not alone. And glad to hear you had a nice time with your son looking at scrapbooks. That sounds really nice.

Some nice neighbors brought me the annual cookie from sacrament. I was nice, but later thought, "you can keep the cookie, I want gender equality."

We don't attend, but living in Utah the gender inequality in the church effects the local culture fairly heavily. Thanks for the cookie though I guess?

Our wards Mother's Day talk was a tribute to the speakers mom. She was a super mom, her husband died and left 5 kids, and worked full time raised her kids alone and her greatest achievement was that all of her kids were married in the temple. I'm sure the guys mom was a terrific lady, but there was no way any woman in the room could have lived up to what this mom had done. I'm not sure of the point of the speaker, to brag I guess, he is a physician with a real type a personality. I kept looking over st my wife and she seemed irritated. I remember the last few mothers days were similar. Telling of some great women and then feeling bad not being able to measure up. This is one of the themes of the LDS sacrament that have always made me uncomfortable. The story of a super high expectation and my failure to achieve it.... I really don't like sacrament meeting.

Thank you!

I had a bad migraine, today, and didn't go. That's the down side. I've spent the day taking three naps. Naps on Mother's Day are a blessed thing.

One year, we had a new bishop and he decided the theme for the year should be the atonement. He didn't deviate from that for Mother's Day. On that day all the talks were on repentance! I was a newly minted NOM and I was a little shocked. Let's not even hide the shaming! Apparently, he got similar feedback, because the remaining Mother's Days during his tenure were more traditional. He never oversold it. Just talks nice talks about imperfect women of faith.

One son defended me very strongly to his father when his father was trying to shame me. The other one gave himself​ a sympathetic fat lip when mine was swollen from surgery. I'm pretty content with those unintentional gifts.

I'm extremely happy to have been able to spend another Mother's Day with my mom.