General NOMfrence: Suck up 70 Award
Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 2:07 pm
I think 70s are my new favorite thing about GC. Think about how excited they must be to speak. They are next in line for a spot in the 12 and that means if they live long enough they might actually get to be the PROPHET! 
But there is like a ton of them, and only 15 spots in the Q15. So of course if they get called to speak in GC, the need to advertise. They need to let all of us underlings know just how spiritual they are, and give a killer talk that will be meme-d and repeated in sacrament meetings around the Mormon world. They have totally different motives that anyone else that speaks at GC. And that is what makes their talks so entertaining. But sometimes it is hard to discern the actual entertainment amid all of the typical LDS GC talk fodder. Luckily for us, I have a SEER STONE 
to help me "translate" their talks. So let's look at the runner up for Suck Up 70: M Joseph Brough.
SEER STONE:
My dad was all like "I don't care about your dog" And I was all like "what am I gonna do?" And my dad was like "shut up" but l'm going to pretend that he told me to ask HF since that is more spiritual.
SEER STONE: I'm so righteous I gave my dog away. My f-ing dog!!! I bet I'm the only person who ever spoke at GC that gave their dog away. No one will ever forget this talk because it is the saddest talk ever because I gave my dog away for the church!!!!
and he said hi to me and so now we know that God loves me.
But there is like a ton of them, and only 15 spots in the Q15. So of course if they get called to speak in GC, the need to advertise. They need to let all of us underlings know just how spiritual they are, and give a killer talk that will be meme-d and repeated in sacrament meetings around the Mormon world. They have totally different motives that anyone else that speaks at GC. And that is what makes their talks so entertaining. But sometimes it is hard to discern the actual entertainment amid all of the typical LDS GC talk fodder. Luckily for us, I have a SEER STONE to help me "translate" their talks. So let's look at the runner up for Suck Up 70: M Joseph Brough.SEER STONE: I was such a good kid, but my dad was a jerk to me even when I was too little to remember. But my grandma knew what a precious spirit I was. So she told him to be nice to me.M Joseph Brough: One of Heavenly Father’s most beloved tools in guiding His children is righteous grandparents. My father’s mother was such a woman. On an occasion that took place when I was too young to remember, my father was disciplining me. Observing this correction, my grandmother said, “Monte, I believe you are correcting him too harshly.”
My father replied, “Mother, I will correct my children as I want.”
And my wise grandmother softly stated, “And so will I.”
SEER STONE: A care package meme would look great in your Facebook feed. Just make sure my name is at the bottom of it. Remember its M. Joseph Brough. I do that cool thing that GAs do and include an initial as part of my name.M Joseph Brough: Listen to those words: Heavenly Father knows what you and I need better than anyone else. As a result, He has developed a personal care package suited to each one of us. It has many components. It includes His Son and the Atonement, the Holy Ghost, commandments, scriptures, prayer, prophets, apostles, parents, grandparents, local Church leaders, and many others—all to help us return to live with Him someday.
SEER STONE: I was such a spiritual boy that I knew my parents were called to serve a mission even before they told the family in our super righteous family council. Do I remind you of another really spiritual 14 year-old boy?M Joseph Brough: Around my 14th birthday, I learned about some of these blessings. I noticed different behavior on the part of my parents. Considering what I observed, I asked, “Are we going on a mission?” The shock on my mother’s face confirmed my suspicion. Later, in a family council, my siblings and I learned that our parents had been called to preside over a mission.
SEER STONE: My parents were rich. Which in Mormonism means they were righteous. My parents were rich-teous.M Joseph Brough: We lived on a beautiful ranch in Wyoming.
M Joseph Brough: Shortly after learning of the calling, I realized that I would have to give up my dog, Blue. I confronted my father, asking what I should do with Blue. I wanted to emphasize the unfairness of what God was requiring. I will never forget this response. He said, “I’m not sure. He probably cannot go with us, so you had better ask Heavenly Father.” That was not the response I had anticipated.
SEER STONE:
My dad was all like "I don't care about your dog" And I was all like "what am I gonna do?" And my dad was like "shut up" but l'm going to pretend that he told me to ask HF since that is more spiritual. M Joseph Brough: I began reading the Book of Mormon. I earnestly prayed to know if I had to give my dog away. My answer did not come in a moment; rather, a specific thought kept penetrating my mind: “Don’t be a burden to your parents. Don’t be a burden. I have called your parents.”
I knew what Heavenly Father required. That knowledge did not reduce the pain of giving my dog away. However, through that small sacrifice, my heart softened and I found peace in seeking Heavenly Father’s will.
SEER STONE: I'm so righteous I gave my dog away. My f-ing dog!!! I bet I'm the only person who ever spoke at GC that gave their dog away. No one will ever forget this talk because it is the saddest talk ever because I gave my dog away for the church!!!!
SEER STONE: I <3 <3 <3 BKP!!!! Especially when he talks about having agency but giving it away to your bishop!.M Joseph Brough: President Boyd K. Packer said: “Bishops are inspired! Each of us has agency to accept or reject counsel from our leaders, but never disregard the counsel of your bishop, whether given over the pulpit or individually.”7
SEER STONE: You could do so many memes with this. Like one with Jesus popping out of a box.M Joseph Brough: Perhaps Heavenly Father’s greatest care package component is described in these words: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”8
SEER STONE: My family know Vaughn J Featherstone! He is super cool! And once when he was temple president I saw him in the templeM Joseph Brough: At one such time, I sought Heavenly Father’s counsel through constant and heartfelt prayer for more than a year to find the solution to a difficult situation. I knew logically that Heavenly Father answers all sincere prayers. Yet I reached such desperation one day that I attended the temple with one question: “Heavenly Father, do You really care?”
I was sitting near the back of the Logan Utah Temple waiting room when, to my surprise, entering the room that day was the temple president, Vaughn J. Featherstone, a close family friend. He stood at the front of the congregation and welcomed all of us. When he noticed me among the temple patrons, he stopped speaking, looked me in the eyes, and then said, “Brother Brough, it is good to see you in the temple today.”
I will never forget the feeling of that simple moment. It was as if—in that greeting—Heavenly Father was stretching forth His hand and saying, “Here am I.”
and he said hi to me and so now we know that God loves me.
SEER STONE: Except kids who want to keep their dogs.M Joseph Brough: Heavenly Father really does care and listen to and answer every child’s prayer
SEER STONE: In conclusion, I would be really good at leading you as an apostle and maybe one day a prophet. Please consider me for this promotion. Pretty plez. (I gave away my dog!!!!)M Joseph Brough: I testify that Heavenly Father does lead us, guide us, and walk beside us. As we follow His Son and give heed to His servants, the apostles and prophets, we will find the way to eternal life. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.