NOM

I just found out that I am a highly sensitive person. Why do I always feel late to the game? This sure does explain a lot.
It may very well be the reason the church left me so guilt ridden.
I asked my counselor Friday morning what good is it to be empathetic to the point of discomfort and not be out there changing the world, not that I would even know how to go about doing that...

I put two books on hold at the library and I looked up a few journal articles but I thought it might be a good idea to ask on here.
If anyone is a HSP too, what traits are strongest and how have you changed your life to make navigating the world easier?

Thanks

Pretty sure I'm highly sensitive -- I can't tell you how many times I've been accused of it.

One of the helpful things I've learned is to acknowledge my feelings instead of trying to bury them, and also to not create big stories about what my feelings mean.

Not much time right now. I'll try to get back with a little more later.

I have my switches. I'm reasonably good at mitigating the effects of them though.

Thanks for responding. They say only 10-15% are. It's kind of like- okay, I different, and that's not supposed to be a bad thing, but what the hades do I do with this information. It's sure not going to stop my husband from saying I overreact or am too sensitive.

I could check off almost all the boxes.
I would assumed most people could say they- like music, art, nature, water, are courteous (and get frustrated when others are rude), are empathetic, reflect, are conscientious, etc.
But I can check off the other boxes too- uncomfortable watching violent movies, upset by the news, fabric isn't really a problem but I rarely wear jewelry or sunglasses and I can't stand my fitness tracker, I am always asking to turn down the volume, and I grew up being ultra sensitive to perfume.
Oh, and one thing that made me feel better, is learning that I am not along about freezing up when put on the spot about certain things. I sounds silly but it's real. For me, I have a fear of spelling bees, I was forced into one as an adult and it took me 6 months to get over it, and also being asked math questions in front of others, I doesn't matter how simple, I get nervous, freeze up, and go blank.
We wont go into the insecurity. They say that it's less pronounced in other societies and that is no surprise to me.

I am not sure if I should just keep being myself, but it would be great to jump some hurdles.

I am an HSP. It took me a while to learn that I am introverted, intuitive, etc. I like to speak and to teach, but I just do much better with fewer people and quieter settings. I need my alone time.

As a result of my HSP-ness, I have developed some maladaptive responses to the world: depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia. The mission was tough--bugging people in their houses and on the streets--and I was a TBM then.

So I used to be a public school teacher, and a college professor. I'm going back to school because I want a job I can leave at work, and I want some stability. I will be doing something much quieter and less stressful.

I can't watch action films anymore, and I absolutely can't handle violence. At the end of a lot of interacting or loudness, I like to go home, turn down the lights, and be in a quiet, cool place--alone.

I'm similar to those above. Not sure I'm HSP but I'm definitely ADD (self diagnosed) and I have a hard time putting things in perspective when I'm stressed. I get anxious and worried easily. It's helpful for me to step back, disengage, get some alone time, walk myself through some thought exercises to put things back in perspective and priorty.

I have found it helpful to set boundaries. DH and I belong to a group that goes to plays once a month. I won't go to the ones that have topics or reviews that make me uncomfortable. DH will often take DD in my place because she doesn't mind and he wants to see the show. My friends in the group don't make a big deal about it and seem to understand. I have learned that it's important to choose my mental furniture wisely.

Don't be afraid to be who you are.

So is this a recognized DSM 5 disorder?

Mad Jax wrote: ↑Mon May 01, 2017 5:43 pm So is this a recognized DSM 5 disorder?

I believe I read that it is not because of the high percentage that have it. Someone chime in if I'm wrong.
I am going to ask my Psychology professor tomorrow if we have time.

Jinx wrote: ↑Sun Apr 30, 2017 12:38 pm I have found it helpful to set boundaries.

Learning about boundaries has been a life saver. I still have a lot to learn/practice. I only learned I had no boundaries last fall. It's like leaving the church and getting a great counselor lead me out from under a rock.
I think this is one of the (many) ways the church really harms mothers. The church teaches you not to set boundaries and if you do, you're not Christ like. Not having proper boundaries with your spouse, children, and outward, wears someone down so quickly.

achilles wrote: ↑Sat Apr 29, 2017 7:00 pm I am an HSP. It took me a while to learn that I am introverted, intuitive, etc. I like to speak and to teach, but I just do much better with fewer people and quieter settings. I need my alone time.

As a result of my HSP-ness, I have developed some maladaptive responses to the world: depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia. The mission was tough--bugging people in their houses and on the streets--and I was a TBM then.

So I used to be a public school teacher, and a college professor. I'm going back to school because I want a job I can leave at work, and I want some stability. I will be doing something much quieter and less stressful.

I can't watch action films anymore, and I absolutely can't handle violence. At the end of a lot of interacting or loudness, I like to go home, turn down the lights, and be in a quiet, cool place--alone.

This might explain why I dream of living alone after my boys are grown, that and other reasons. Anxiety is a huge one for me too.
Ironically, I am going to school to become an elementary teacher. I'm taking all core classes first in case I want to change my mind. I enjoy working with children tremendously... I want to inspire them to read and be kind.. I have been volunteering in the school for years so maybe it will be fine.
I try to enjoy the action movies with my family but they are all a punch you in the face fest and it becomes too much.

A big downside for me is that I am too naïve. I can't seem to switch it off. I may be suspicious but still get caught in the web in the end. I expect everyone to be an open, honest book and they are not....not even close.

Glad to know I am not alone in this.

Mad Jax wrote: ↑Mon May 01, 2017 5:43 pm So is this a recognized DSM 5 disorder?

No.

I did an online test and...no.

I was slightly surprised.

I can be outgoing,but I quite like my own company, I could never go on holiday with even the best of friends.

I prefer to work in absolute silence.

My pet hate is going to the cinema and having someone kick my chair from behind.

I do not like collars, prefer not to wear a watch.

I have an extreme intolerance for rude people.

But turns out I'm just a bit of weirdo

redjay wrote: ↑Tue May 02, 2017 2:41 am But turns out I'm just a bit of weirdo

Well you should know you're in very good company then haha
One of the online tests was a little weird if you ask me and different ones kind of touch on different areas.

-Not going to start a new thread just for this... but I lied to my grandmother today... I hated to do it. She's 89 and she asked me if we were going to church every Sunday... I gulped and said... "not EVERY Sunday"... and changed the subject as fast as I could!

Lithium Sunset wrote: ↑Tue May 02, 2017 5:05 pm

redjay wrote: ↑Tue May 02, 2017 2:41 am But turns out I'm just a bit of weirdo

Well you should know you're in very good company then haha
One of the online tests was a little weird if you ask me and different ones kind of touch on different areas.

Yes, I can't say I'm HSP, but I'm sensitive to a few very specific things - light, smells, colors. I've realized in the past few years some of my negative responses are due to being sensitive to those three things so I do try to work around them to the best of my ability. I bought prescription sunglasses so I can wear them everywhere, even in the house. I've painted my house colors that help me feel good, even when all decorating advice says those colors are not warm and welcoming. The smells...that's perhaps the hardest one to avoid so I just recognize that my negative reaction is to the smell, not the person, place, situation and move on.

Oh, and I do have performance anxiety. I'm a musician, but I hate performing because it's like my body and brain cease communications. I can talk in front of people all day long, but I can't play music.