NOM

Coming up, it will be my fourth month in the Wilderness of Mormonism. It is complicated but enlightening..

My second stint with the LDS church ended in 2012 and have been going to Community of Christ since 2013. They have been good to me, but I have found it hard to find community there. I have talked to just about everyone on the national stage over email, been a part of Stake/Mission Center activities and even made a trip to a congregation of "like minded" people, but unfortunately, I find myself continuing to wounder about. People are just not in the same spot in their lives, the folks that are younger don't have much in common and congregational life can be described as "not ideal". I also "suffer" from conservatism and lean toward the fundamentalism side of things. While I appreciate the original, restored church, I am fully accepting of LGBT and believe Women should be called to Priesthood because I believe God will sanction it eventually.

In October 2016, I was about to resign my membership in the LDS church. I had my paper filled out and was able to send it to the QuitMormon people but I felt a strong influence to hold off. I also had a paper filled out to formally join Community of Christ, but again, I filed that paper away. People have been waiting on me to take that step but I asked myself if I really wanted to make that kind of change right now. I knew that once I became a confirmed member of another church, my time at the LDS church will be over, even if it was a "man made" kind of rule. I decided to pray about it more and wait for some kind of prompting..

Around December, I got a phone call from a High Priest friend and asked if I would do some Home Teaching with him. We served together in the Sunday School Presidency, he was my first counselor. I sort of picked his name out of a hat, not realizing who he was. I call that one of those moments where God throws me a bone. He has turned into one of my most trusted spiritual advisors, I can tell him anything. He is a bit of a rebel, marches to his own drum and a real free thinker. He says he stays on the line but lunges over it from time to time. Anyway, we have been home teaching two families and just this week, I have been given the official calling of being a home teacher. I haven't set foot in the Stake Center for years, yet, here I am! We teach the lesson and have discussion afterwards. This also gives me time to talk about my struggles and journey with him.

I wanted to start going to church again, but with a twist. I don't want to give authority of my spiritual life to any one man or group. This means, no meetings with Bishops, EQ Presidents, Pastors (at CofC) or anyone else who has authority. I would only give them authority if *I* give it to them. In the LDS church, the way to do this is to visit another Ward outside of the boundaries. I go once or twice a month, do not accept the Sacrament (even though I have been advised that I am worthy, I will abstain) and I will not get in the way of anyone's worship experience. I have to say, this has blessed my life beyond measure. This particular Ward is in a town that is a little more left leaning, so some of the comments from the stand fit into my way of thinking. They don't say anything that isn't sanctioned, but their presentation is a bit different than my home Ward in a ultra TBM type of community.

I still go to CofC twice a month and go to a Wednesday night service. I cannnot bail on the 20 or so folks that got to know me. Congregational life is not ideal and sadly, this particular congregation needs to make some wholesale changes or they will fade. The World Church, which has two Temples (one in Kirtland OH and the other on Temple Lot), has a great theology of peace and the Worth of All Persons. The unfortunate part is, that upbeat, can do attitude doesn't make it to the congregational level and when it does, people implement it wrong and don't have the support on the local level. Book of Mormon and older sections of the Doctrine and Covenants aren't used enough and they tend to stay in more modern revelation. They don't make an effort to hear the story of the Restored Gospel, why it is special, why we have Priesthood or what their responsibilities are. When I bring it up, I feel a bit patronized. Now, the church needs to raise funds, so their answer is to sell historic landmarks. You only have so many landmarks to sell, what happens when you run out? I bet you could rook the LDS church $100 million for Kirtland, but what happens when the dollars are gone? 100 Million goes quicker than you think. All of that doesn't show me that they value that history. Those properties have intangible value that you cannot put a price tag on. It is the story that keeps me engaged, discarding assets and not teaching that were a part of that story is bothersome. I also go to another CofC church a couple of communities over, they speak of the story more but still could use a little more improvement.

In my search for community, I have also reached out to Denver Snuffer based Fellowships. They certainly fill the "fundamentalist" side of me saying that the church needs to go back to the original church. There have been Prophets who have contradicted previous Prophets and teachings, which I call "Teachings of Man". For example, I believe that section 132 is 100% Man and Brigham Young did a nice job smearing Joseph after he died to further his agenda. The evidence of Joseph Smith Polygamy is shaky at best based on the testimony of the women and girls involved. Many people in the movement share the same ideas. Please don't be offended by this paragraph, every time I write about this topic, people boo me. Joseph Smith is a big part of my journey, I believe he was a great man even if he made a mistake or three. I make mistakes too but that doesn't mean God can't rely on me to do things for Him.

On the other side of the spectrum, I have reached out to a couple of John Dehlin groups. I haven't been able to go to one of their get togethers yet but it looks promising. The community aspect is fantastic! They seem like real, down to earth types.

So, every month I go to a LDS Church meeting, 3 CofC meetings between two congregations and participate in two online/offline movements. My hope is I find something that works, one way or another. My LDS experience without authority has been awesome! CofC has been very insightful and great in many ways. The online communities fill in the gaps. I have prayed that this path is one that God would allow me to go, I sort of got an answer. I was in the LDS church and someone with a Stake calling had a talk about the Gospel. He said that members need to be flexible and understanding of those who are struggling, that the Gospel needs to work for people and we need to be patient. My hope is my family, friends and God Himself is patient with me.

I am trying... I ask that you include people like me in your prayers. We need every since prayer we can get. I pray for the leaders of all the churches often, that they are inspired to be kind to us as their Brothers and Sisters. Thank you for reading my post, may you also find peace in your journey.

I'm sorry that in your local Community of Christ congregation, they don't know much what to do with certain Restoration distinctives like the Book of Mormon and early D&C and they simultaneously seem to not be up to date with progressing ideas emanating from world church headquarters, while meanwhile in the one distinctive that is maintained (priesthood and sacraments) they seem to have retained a sense of spiritual authoritarianism (the pastor as the authority) that they should have shed.

My only advice on that is that given the size of these congregations and their demographic reality, it's quite possible to effect change. In my congregation, we just had a long seminar on the Book of Mormon last month and how do we read it in light of the current Community of Christ understanding of scripture (encapsulated in the "Statement on Scripture" and D&C 163). If you bring new people, say other transitioning Mormons into the congregation, that will also effect the culture. Moreover, changes to bring the congregation more up-to-date will receive support from Mission Center and world church leaders and those changes will also make the task of growing the community more doable.

Regarding the potential sale of historical assets, we should note that it's not yet clear what is being envisioned. You mention that there are two historical sites that are of immense value, Kirtland Temple and Joseph Smith's grave and his very bones. Both of these are of immeasurable value (I think much more than $100 million each given the wealth of the potential buyers), however, we're not necessarily talking about either of these assets. Other historical assets of immense value include the printer's manuscript of the Book of Mormon and the manuscript of the Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible. Anyway, I agree with you that spending out of patrimony must cease, and that's been the policy of the new Presiding Bishopric, which is why cuts are so very steep.

I like your comment and I wish I had something inspiring to give to your quest. Sadly I don't. I am much younger than you I presume (36) and it seems like you are still lost a bit. My own journey is very young (1.5 months) and I feel like I might be like you wanting to hold on to sacred beliefs no matter how false they might be. I loved Joseph Smith growing up and still want to hold on to the idea that He translated the BoM and that he started good and definitely wondered astray in the end.
Either way I am very curious to see where your journey takes you. I will pray for you and wish you luck!

Thanks John! We need more people like yourself, who is articulate enough to put out new ideas in a way people will search their hearts. During World Conference 2016, for the first time, I seen so much optimism and hope. It was like I was looking at two different churches. If we can somehow bring that locally, you would have a lot of interest from not only transitioning Mormons but perhaps even those in the community that don't have previous Restoration experiences. Even just watching a live feed, I felt confirmation that God held our church in high regard. I could only imagine what it was like to actually be there.

When CofC figures itself out, the church will be awesome. Getting there, well, not easy. Perhaps it is up to us to step up and lead, but one or two can't do it alone.

Hi Bloodhound98, I am actually 40 years old. I totally understand what you said about holding on to sacred beliefs. I don't get caught up in the symantecs of what how Joseph translated the Book of Mormon. I kind of liken it to a building.. I don't care what the building is made out of, how many windows it has, the kind of carpet or whatever.. It is the fact that the building is there, it's useful for it's purpose, ect.. The Book of Mormon may be 100% false, but is it useful to people? Is it good? People can have a beliefs if it is bogus, they are allowed that right and I celebrate their thoughtful decision process.

Its_Complicated wrote: ↑Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:55 am Thanks John! We need more people like yourself, who is articulate enough to put out new ideas in a way people will search their hearts. During World Conference 2016, for the first time, I seen so much optimism and hope. It was like I was looking at two different churches. If we can somehow bring that locally, you would have a lot of interest from not only transitioning Mormons but perhaps even those in the community that don't have previous Restoration experiences. Even just watching a live feed, I felt confirmation that God held our church in high regard. I could only imagine what it was like to actually be there.

When CofC figures itself out, the church will be awesome. Getting there, well, not easy. Perhaps it is up to us to step up and lead, but one or two can't do it alone.

Thanks, Its_Complicated. I was so sad to miss out on World Conference 2016, but I've heard from so many people who went there that had this same experience where they sensed the emerging church within the legacy church. We definitely have that feeling here in Canada where we simultaneously are having some exciting successes with reinvention of a whole new way to have church amid the reality of an aging legacy church.

I wrote the cover article for the May/June Herald which will be about my congregation's programs focusing on "Ministry to the Unchurched," purging church of baggage, and building useful, meaningful community among people who otherwise identify as "spiritual but not religious." Forward movement has the full support of the denomination.

Regarding a live feed, my congregation is about to launch an interactive online monthly gathering. We're trying to have it ready for April, actually. I'll post the details here on NOM as they become available.

ITs I understand the feeling. I have longed for a viable community of believers in Christ who came together because of shared values and beliefs and who choose to associate with each other because they wanted to and not because someone told them they had to. A community of equals where one did not esteem himself above another and where there was no false deference to someone who had a title because there were no more titles. No hierarchy ,no correlated lessons, no worthiness interviews ,no " inspired calling " to babysit 18 month old kids, no need to put on a tie and white shirt, no tithing settlement . No assigned talks requiring you to repeat what some old guy with a middle initial had once said. But a community that valued the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and their relationship with Christ. I have found such a community that has no only the attributes listed above but where wide ranging doctrinal discussions are encouraged and people of good will freely disagree but comfortably worship together, pray together , and serve together recognizing that part of being christian is accepting each other for what they are not what we think they should be. There are multiple such groups around the country and the number is growing. It is typically composed of people of all ages. My group in AZ is made up of 40 or so ranging in age from late teens to 72. PM me and I will be happy to send you a link showing you how to find one near you.

asa wrote: ↑Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:25 pm ITs I understand the feeling. I have longed for a viable community of believers in Christ who came together because of shared values and beliefs and who choose to associate with each other because they wanted to and not because someone told them they had to. A community of equals where one did not esteem himself above another and where there was no false deference to someone who had a title because there were no more titles. No hierarchy ,no correlated lessons, no worthiness interviews ,no " inspired calling " to babysit 18 month old kids, no need to put on a tie and white shirt, no tithing settlement . No assigned talks requiring you to repeat what some old guy with a middle initial had once said. But a community that valued the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and their relationship with Christ. I have found such a community that has no only the attributes listed above but where wide ranging doctrinal discussions are encouraged and people of good will freely disagree but comfortably worship together, pray together , and serve together recognizing that part of being christian is accepting each other for what they are not what we think they should be. There are multiple such groups around the country and the number is growing. It is typically composed of people of all ages. My group in AZ is made up of 40 or so ranging in age from late teens to 72. PM me and I will be happy to send you a link showing you how to find one near you.

Beautifully said (and I'm beginning to wonder if I know you).