Palerider wrote: ↑Sun Feb 18, 2018 5:21 pm
I'm wondering if the husband here was obedient when the SP told him he had to beg forgiveness from his wife and accept the fact that he might have to be in the dog house for a couple of years as he worked to restore her faith in him and save the marriage? And I cannot fathom how the church could be so quick to forgive the break-up of the home on his account and that he would be eligible to ordain his child fairly soon.
Instead the husband crashes the marriage, upsets the wife no end and because she has a difficult time dealing with it she gets reprimanded???
I'm sure I don't know the whole story here but......

...why does it always seem like the woman is taking the hit in these stories?
I honestly think it is because they as men identify with the other man. They cannot put themselves in the woman's shoes enough to say, "well, I would be highly offended if my wife fell in love with someone else, broke up the marriage, then was nominated as "mother of the year." Since men HOLD the priesthood, they cannot imagine what it feels like not to have it. They just can't imagine how women feel about not having the priesthood, when they see obviously unworthy men dishonering the priesthood. It is like saying that this adulterer is more loved by God than I am when I have done everything I could to be worthy, but still his penis makes him more righteous, no matter what sin he commits. It gives men a free pass to commit any sin and still be more loved by God than the most righteous woman.
I got the same crap from bishops about my abusive father. They felt like because they would be terribly upset if their daughter refused to let the grandchildren spend overnight, that obviously I was terribly unforgiving. They just were not capable of comprehending that I was protectin my children from a known child molester.
This is part of why the male only bishop can be so harmful to women.
So, rather than imagine how the mother feels and telling the man no, he looks at it from the church's position that the man did not (quite) break the law of chastity, so therefore he is worthy. He doesn't see that since the offensive man is still in the repentance process until his wife has enough restitution to fully forgive, he is not in a position to ordain his son and make the whole family situation worse. He doesn't want to make the "poor man" eat more humble pie. So, he humiliates the woman by declaring the scum to be more loved by God than she is.