Re: Question for the group about when to leave
Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 4:39 pm
You are correct the comment about obesity was not meant to be offensive. I mentioned it because I have my own inherited physical struggles. I have to be careful...RALLY careful because of a few things. So, I've spent some time educating myself.Newme wrote: ↑Sun Jul 30, 2017 2:32 pm Maybe considering what someone has power over is important.
True that rare conditions like thyroid problems can contribute to weight gain.
Still, it seems like often obesity comes down to eating too much & not exercising enough. Generally, people who are healthy tend to have other good qualities like being happier, able to do more fun & exciting things (to keep the spark alive), maintain good self control and discipline. Lately, I've been considering my body as a temple - which deserves to be treated well with diet, exercise, sleep, etc. Junk food is tempting though. And I know people who are addicted to it to the point where it is killing them. (I suppose many since heart disease is #1 killer in US.) Besides abuse & adultery, addiction can be a credible reason for divorce.
I don't think the weight issue was meant to be offensive, though it could easily be taken that way. His example of hygiene is similar. If someone shows discipline to regularly brush & floss, bathe & shower, they're more pleasant to be around than if they didn't, and it reflects good self-esteem, discipline etc.
In the midst of that education, I've learned some of the studies done regarding obesity, heart disease, and how North America-which at one time was one of the most healthy countries in the world--has seriously SERIOUSLY slipped. The fattest people in the entire world are in North America--Mississippi if I recall correctly, but that is no justification. Utah has a massive anti-depressant medicated population, lots of Ritilin here, as well as heart-attack and cancer. Now you can debate the causes of this--say its the LDS church, the pressure of family life from large families...LGBT issues...whatever. But I submit the primary cause is Utahn's, like the rest of the United States, generally eat CRAP FOOD all the time: grease, sugar, processed meat, massive dairy. I read something the other day--we are the only species in this world that drinks other's species milk. Is that natural?...is that normal?...don't know. It certainly is interesting.
People generally have control over what passes their lips and goes into their stomachs. So, really...is this something that just can't be controlled?
Inside a marriage, you have control over certain things. Weight gain is one that does cause issues: health issues, attractiveness issues, energy issues, activity issues, sleep issues (apnea is often brought on by large weight gain), etc. It can hurt a relationship because someone in the relationship is declining in an area that, IMHO, is more controllable than often admitted.
But,...let me pull away from the hotness of that issue, cuz its something many struggle with,...and those struggles have heartstrings that are pulled horribly.
There is an attitude I've seen, and it drives me crazy. That attitude is summed up with something like this: "Why can't my spouse just love me the way I am?" This fits right into the "Jesus love" issues above,...because "charity suffereth long, is kind, envieth not..." etc.
That line between what is unconditional,...and what is conditional love is in there. Everyone who has gone through a divorce has hit that line somewhere in there. Some here have said addiction, adultry & abuse cross that line, triggering a compelling reason to consider terminating the marriage.
What constitute compelling reasons?...specifics anyone besides those mentioned (or more specifically what is mentiioned)?