NOM

I'm still holding out for Coffee to be decriminalized by our prophet!!

I'll give my standard, perennial prediction.

You want a prediction about general conference, you're asking the wrong guy. I'll give you a general conference prediction: It's gonna be irrelevant, it's gonna be boring, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

nibbler wrote: ↑Thu Sep 30, 2021 3:02 pm I'll give my standard, perennial prediction.

You want a prediction about general conference, you're asking the wrong guy. I'll give you a general conference prediction: It's gonna be irrelevant, it's gonna be boring, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

I see what you did there.

Palerider wrote: ↑Sat Sep 25, 2021 10:51 pm It has a psychological effect to see thousands of people fawning over these guys in their King Noah chairs, waving to the crowd....

King Noah chairs!!! That is awesome! Now they just need a pet cheetah at their feet.

moksha wrote: ↑Sun Sep 26, 2021 8:11 am I predict MoPag will host a number of threads for each two-hour session of the General Conference, or else we will experience a day, a night, and a day!

Gonna NOMference the sh!t out of this GC!!!!!

I don't have any predictions. I want to look for clues that they are scared though. And I don't even know exactly what those would look like.

Oh and I got a new Tarot deck based on the Temple Endowment. It's super crazy!!!! I'll pull some cards from that before each session too.

I have a small prediction. Not really for this conference alone, though. I predict that we will start hearing the phrase "Heavenly Parents" a little more. There might even be a mention or two of "Heavenly Mother." Over the next few years, I predict that the doctrine of Heavenly Mother gets a little more attention in the church. I think Fiona Givens has taught the leaders that they need to do something, but they will feel the need to go slow and not look like they are responding to her.

Mackman wrote: ↑Thu Sep 30, 2021 12:31 pm I'm still holding out for Coffee to be decriminalized by our prophet!!

Last conf I brought up the possibility of coffee being allowed to my Orothodox TBM in-laws…I told them I already had a coffee maker in my Amazon shopping cart waiting for the go-ahead to order…that didn’t go over well.

blazerb wrote: ↑Thu Sep 30, 2021 7:12 pm I have a small prediction. Not really for this conference alone, though. I predict that we will start hearing the phrase "Heavenly Parents" a little more. There might even be a mention or two of "Heavenly Mother." Over the next few years, I predict that the doctrine of Heavenly Mother gets a little more attention in the church. I think Fiona Givens has taught the leaders that they need to do something, but they will feel the need to go slow and not look like they are responding to her.

I like this idea. I hope they start using heavenly parents and stop using covenant path. I am soooo over covenant path.
I think RMN will give a Bilbo Baggins retirement speech. I think he is close to being on his way out.

There will be hints that the end-of-days is soon at hand (as there always is) with praise to those who have endured through these last fiery years well. There will be calls for the inactive to come back to church with more "before it is too late" rhetoric. Also talks on self-reliance (ask not what your church can do for you, ask what you can do for your church.) A zillion more temples - you know - to prepare for the 2nd coming. A token talk by a minority (which will be the best talk given), and a token talk by a couple of overly submissive females that no one will listen to. The choir will sing something written by one of the big wig leaders that all the primary kids will later have to learn. Army of God talks - fighting against "what will destroy the family" - a repeat of Holland's rhetoric. PR for all the "charity" work the church is doing (pennies, but they will make it look like they are saving the world.) The usual. Rewind 10 years ago, or another 10 years ago - it will be exactly the same as what it always has been.

Angel wrote: ↑Fri Oct 01, 2021 3:19 pm There will be hints that the end-of-days is soon at hand... to prepare for the 2nd coming.

I think that is very likely. The church has its back against the wall on several fronts and the best defense in those situations has always been to try to put fear into the hearts of the members and create a sheep and goats dichotomy. Also, Mr. Nelson is the most millennialist president the church has had for a while.

2bizE wrote: ↑Thu Sep 30, 2021 7:44 pm I think RMN will give a Bilbo Baggins retirement speech. I think he is close to being on his way out.

This would be spectacular. He's close to eleventy-one. I agree about "covenant path." I'm afraid it will only get retired if they come up with another euphemism for "do what we tell you."

MoPag wrote: ↑Thu Sep 30, 2021 6:23 pm I want to look for clues that they are scared though. And I don't even know exactly what those would look like.

Look for Elder Jeffery Holland to shake his jowls like Richard Nixon.

The elders in the BYU administrators section might load, aim, and fire imaginary muskets in order to signal their support of the Brethren. The Brethren will appreciate the willingness to harm LGBTQ BYU students in their name.

President Nelson might reveal that the name Saints has been changed to Entrepreneurs.

The Sunday morning session agenda was leaked!

Path to perfection
Question the election
No boy on boy affection
Cancel the wedding reception
Ten of us still can’t get an erection
The Holy Ghost lacks proprioception!
Nope, don’t believe in natural selection
Zach Wilson threw another interception?
Jesus was conceived by immaculate conception.

Alternative talk by Hank if time allows:
Elder Eyering’s tears are deception

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Sat Oct 02, 2021 1:17 am The Sunday morning session agenda was leaked!

Path to perfection
Question the election
No boy on boy affection
Cancel the wedding reception
Ten of us still can’t get an erection
The Holy Ghost lacks proprioception!
Nope, don’t believe in natural selection
Zach Wilson threw another interception?
Jesus was conceived by immaculate conception.

Alternative talk by Hank if time allows:
Elder Eyering’s tears are deception

Classic.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Sat Oct 02, 2021 1:17 am The Sunday morning session agenda was leaked!

Path to perfection
Question the election
No boy on boy affection
Cancel the wedding reception
Ten of us still can’t get an erection
The Holy Ghost lacks proprioception!
Nope, don’t believe in natural selection
Zach Wilson threw another interception?
Jesus was conceived by immaculate conception.

Alternative talk by Hank if time allows:
Elder Eyering’s tears are deception