NOM

Unsure, hang in there. We've been dealing with anxiety disorders a lot. Not the same as your situation, but we have had issues. It sounds like you know what you want. Make sure you talk to the bishop. If you want the chastity question off the table, just tell him.

As for why these changes, I think there are two possible parts. First, it is possible that this is a change that makes sense to RMN. He's always wanted to standardize things. He can now. Second, I think the church constantly needs to be making changes that seem significant to keep the membership feeling like the "work is hastening." I noticed this on my mission. It felt like the work was constantly getting more urgent. Every change that came down was framed as a sign of the times. Even some pretty simple reporting changes were made to seem like momentous developments. It was only after I got home and could take a breath that I realized that made no sense. Missionary work had been going on for 150 years. It's wasn't more urgent in 1992 than in 1982. But mission presidents make it seem that way. When "Preach My Gospel" was introduced, it was said that missionaries were now going to preach by the spirit. That's the same thing we were told when the previous "new" discussions were introduced. It's what will be said when the next set of discussions are introduced. Every time, it will be blown all out of proportion. Likewise, this is a pretty minor change. It's being made to feel like the second coming is nigh, though. Such things are needed, especially to distract from the PR problems the church is facing.

Obviously, my two possibilities are not mutually exclusive. They are compatible with a lot of the ideas that others are kicking out there. I think there's lot happening in the dynamics of the leadership of the church.

Thanks everyone. We're going to talk with the bishop and my son and there's a good chance that we'll wait until my son's birthday to have him ordained. It sounds like he'll still be interviewed before going into his new class, but with one of us in the interview that hopefully won't be a problem, and we can prep our son.

dogbite wrote: ↑Fri Dec 14, 2018 10:52 am But I had to cut off the activation efforts and similar group pressures.

This thought alone kept me up last night. My oldest will turn 12 in 2019. I thought I had a good 6 months or more to get her ready for the activation efforts. We have not attended at all this year but my nomish DH has indicated he wanted to get back into attendance after the first of the year because our kids are getting to be THAT age.

I'm so I freaked out. Because I thought I would have more time to get ready for the influx of pressures that will be put on her. I expect we will start getting visitors and notes and messages for her right away. Time for me to go on the defense. She has just started to show signs of better critical thinking skills. Hoping I can continue to help that blossom before the group think tries to take over.

I had a very direct conversation with my husband last night. Specifically detailing my expectations regarding our attendance at every bishop or counselor interview. He is hesitant to ask for that type of concession. But I will not budge there will be no one-on-one interviews ever.

This really deflated my outlook towards the new year.

unsure23 wrote: ↑Sat Dec 15, 2018 6:50 am Thanks everyone. We're going to talk with the bishop and my son and there's a good chance that we'll wait until my son's birthday to have him ordained. It sounds like he'll still be interviewed before going into his new class, but with one of us in the interview that hopefully won't be a problem, and we can prep our son.

Good for you. It may be a little awkward as the other boys will pass the sacrament and your son won’t. I bet they let him collect money from people on fast Sunday though.

Angel wrote: ↑Fri Dec 14, 2018 7:04 pm

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Fri Dec 14, 2018 2:23 pm We had to deal with this recently too. Not because of the age change obviously, but because I have a 13 yo daughter. We told her previously that she was not to be alone with any adult that isn't a parent. When she was offered a blessing she "forgot" and mom found her in a church classroom (at least it was one with a window) after meetings had concluded getting a blessing from one of the bishop's counselors. No other people were in the room with them. DW was livid, so I drafted this letter and we both signed it.

I'm not big on confrontation, so I write things that would otherwise require a difficult or intimidating conversation. We wanted to make absolutely clear that DD can't be alone with anyone *and* take the responsibility off of her shoulders, and place it on that of the adults where it belongs.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-bi ... sp=sharing

Wow - did you hand that letter out, not just to bishopric members, but to everyone working in the youth program? I added to our letter the need for all adults working with our child to be told "no one-on-one". Realistically, you have to let the entire ward know "no one-on-one with my kid".

They tried to interview my kid on a night that I work - proud of my little 13yo, she refused, and I got a phone call wanting to re-schedule. They had interviewed her previously, she shared she did not believe JS was a prophet - and they wanted to interview her again so she could "go on the temple trip"... I let them know her answers had not changed, and there was no need for any new interviews

I am skeptical of any "random" second adult attending - if they are not a licensed counselor, then that second person is going to be me. Sorry, I don't even trust two of them.

No, we didn’t give it to everybody, but we probably should have. Having known the youth leaders for so long, they were already following the two-deep policy. I’d actually been in YM before I was the EQP and they wouldn’t even give rides to kids without another person in the car with them.

We emailed it to everyone in the bishopric and the stake presidency.

Unsurprisingly, we heard no response from anyone.

wtfluff wrote: ↑Fri Dec 14, 2018 12:07 pm

Sheamus Moore wrote: ↑Fri Dec 14, 2018 10:17 amMakes one wonder what motivated the change - other than the usual platitudes espoused in the opening sentences...

What actually "motivated" it is intriguing. That first sentences is exactly like you said, but I think I'd call it BS.

But like Just This Guy mentioned: Socially it makes sense. Now the kids all get to "Graduate" at the same time and "move up" with the same kids they've been spending every Sunday with, instead of having to wait around for the their birthday.

It does make it difficult for the bishop though. End of year is bad enough for those guys with Tithing Shakedown, uh... I mean Tithing Settlement. Now they have a bunch more to do to prepare for January.

Poor BP's, that will be a lot of interviews, especially if parents push hard at the new year.

I remember being the last kid in my Valiant class for a few months...very boring and lonely. I would have liked this change.

If you son is not ready, can you hit the brakes a little? Maybe he wouldn't like that...

Sheamus Moore wrote: ↑Fri Dec 14, 2018 10:17 am Makes one wonder what motivated the change - other than the usual platitudes espoused in the opening sentences...

According to my extended family, it means the second coming is getting close!

dareka wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 9:23 am

Sheamus Moore wrote: ↑Fri Dec 14, 2018 10:17 am Makes one wonder what motivated the change - other than the usual platitudes espoused in the opening sentences...

According to my extended family, it means the second coming is getting close!

LOL

Jesus is coming back! No REALLY!!! Like the day after tomorrow! (Said millions of religious folk over and over for the last ~2000 years...)

Hi unsure, it sounds like you have things under control really well. Mixed faith marriages can be so messy, but you and your spouse sound like you communicate well. I hope your son and family are able to navigate this change without too much trouble.

As for the cause of the change, a friend of mine suggested it is driven by the logistics of the 2 hour block. Bishops were asking what to do with the new 12 year olds. With the way things are setup they would go to primary one week, then priesthood/YW, then back to primary and bishops felt it was throwing a wrench in things. When enough bishops ask, reasonable courses of action couched as wonderful revelation pop out.

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Sun Dec 16, 2018 11:04 am

No, we didn’t give it to everybody, but we probably should have. Having known the youth leaders for so long, they were already following the two-deep policy. I’d actually been in YM before I was the EQP and they wouldn’t even give rides to kids without another person in the car with them.

We emailed it to everyone in the bishopric and the stake presidency.

Unsurprisingly, we heard no response from anyone.

I required a response acknowledging they received the letter.

... Our fam was involved in an abuse case, involves a HP who is now in jail without parole the rest of their life... trying to navigate mixed-faith marriage, keep consistency for the kids through a rough year, while also letting the kids know their mother no longer plays any of those games - my kids know their mom is an angry mother bear who will go postal (and has gone postal) on anyone who dares touch the kids...

I told our Bishop he did not have the spirit with him (after he gave a TR to someone who should not have a TR) - I really don't want to be one of those angry crazy people, but this whole thing has turned up another side of me.

Angel wrote: ↑Fri Dec 21, 2018 8:34 am

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Sun Dec 16, 2018 11:04 am

No, we didn’t give it to everybody, but we probably should have. Having known the youth leaders for so long, they were already following the two-deep policy. I’d actually been in YM before I was the EQP and they wouldn’t even give rides to kids without another person in the car with them.

We emailed it to everyone in the bishopric and the stake presidency.

Unsurprisingly, we heard no response from anyone.

I required a response acknowledging they received the letter.

... Our fam was involved in an abuse case, involves a HP who is now in jail without parole the rest of their life... trying to navigate mixed-faith marriage, keep consistency for the kids through a rough year, while also letting the kids know their mother no longer plays any of those games - my kids know their mom is an angry mother bear who will go postal (and has gone postal) on anyone who dares touch the kids...

I told our Bishop he did not have the spirit with him (after he gave a TR to someone who should not have a TR) - I really don't want to be one of those angry crazy people, but this whole thing has turned up another side of me.

We probably should have asked for acknowledgement. I'm not as worried about it as I used to be though, because DD hasn't been to church more than twice in the last four months. The last time she asked to go (DW takes her whenever she expresses the desire) she asked DW if they could just stay for SM. DW was happy to oblige.