NOM

....and the answer is:

Oral sex! Although monogamy fits into the foundational narrative of the church!

The post was ironically started by a poster named BJ64!

The quote comes from the poster known as LePeel who represents 0.0001% of the world's population who believes the practice "darkens the divine affections with which we are endowed."

https://mormonhub.com/forums/topic/6529 ... ent-981637

I only got to the first comment after the OP before the mental gymnastics started:

The Church (as well as myself) generally leave members to govern themselves in the privacy of their own bedrooms in their intimate dealings with their legitimate spouses.

Really? Does anybody actually believe this?

The comments on that thread are so beyond cringeworthy. I got through two pages and I had to stop... it's scary to think what church members would do if a general authority said they needed to.

So what about the portion of the female population that cannot achieve the big O through uh "LDS Inc, sanctioned" intercourse?

Once again...

How did a "church" that started as a frontier sex-cult produce people like "lePeel"???

slavereeno wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 3:52 pm So what about the portion of the female population that cannot achieve the big O through uh "LDS Inc, sanctioned" intercourse?

Unimportant, stop suggesting it before their wives get any ideas.

In all seriousness though, I cringed at the comment that oral sex is bad because it's stimulation strictly for the sake of stimulation. That's one of those guys having sex through his garments in the missionary position with no lights on, in complete silence.

slavereeno wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 3:52 pm So what about the portion of the female population that cannot achieve the big O through uh "LDS Inc, sanctioned" intercourse?

They're not properly warmed up by the spirit

On 7/24/2018 at 6:18 PM, Jane_Doe said:
And have you heard this reiterated by prophets in the last half century?

One memo is not scripture.

If it was right then, its right today. Meat doesn't cease to be meat just because the recipient couldn't chew it.

Another response by the poster defending the church memo admonishing against oral sex. Interesting choice of words.

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 4:20 pm bad because it's stimulation strictly for the sake of stimulation.

Okay, but as I read through there I can't help but wonder if some of these are ex-mo trolls because they can't really be that backward can they? I guess the memo is real though. What a joke, makes me want to run screaming from this religion. That kind of repression can't be healthy.

I think some of them are just older. They’re fully bought into the crazy, imo.

crazyhamster wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 4:50 pm

On 7/24/2018 at 6:18 PM, Jane_Doe said:
And have you heard this reiterated by prophets in the last half century?

One memo is not scripture.

If it was right then, its right today. Meat doesn't cease to be meat just because the recipient couldn't chew it.

Another response by the poster defending the church memo admonishing against oral sex. Interesting choice of words.

Literally laughed out loud! Good find.

In my TBM days I was a member of an LDS forum about marriage relationships. It could have been renamed the Oral Sex Angst forum, considering how much the topic was argued about. Strike that, it should have been called the Oral Sex and Masturbation Angst forum.

Hagoth wrote: ↑Fri Jul 27, 2018 9:57 am In my TBM days I was a member of an LDS forum about marriage relationships. It could have been renamed the Oral Sex Angst forum, considering how much the topic was argued about. Strike that, it should have been called the Oral Sex and Masturbation Angst forum.

I think it's important to clarify that oral sex is a reciprocal situation and angst can exist among both male and female givers and receivers. That's a natural part of any relationship for various reasons and is worked out between partners. So yes, angst is natural for legitimate reasons.

What's not natural or normal is angst caused by deferring the decision to 15 old dudes who claim to speak on behalf of god.

C'mon, man, this is Double Jeopardy. There ARE no $100 answers.

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:18 pmI think some of them are just older. They’re fully bought into the crazy, imo.

Well... If you do just a teeny-tiny bit of searching, you will find that LePeel admits in another thread that he is not even married, which likely means he's fairly young.

I guess it's a perfect example of mormonism though: If he's as "good" of a mormon as he claims to be, he as absolutely zero experience on the subject matter, yet feels the need to tell everyone else how to live their sex lives.


Or as someone else mentioned earlier on, he could be a master-level troll...

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 2:25 pm ....and the answer is:

Oral sex! Although monogamy fits into the foundational narrative of the church!

The post was ironically started by a poster named BJ64!

The quote comes from the poster known as LePeel who represents 0.0001% of the world's population who believes the practice "darkens the divine affections with which we are endowed."

https://mormonhub.com/forums/topic/6529 ... ent-981637

Some crazy stuff there.

The username BJ69 would have been more ironic.

Hagoth wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:57 am I'll take oral sex for $200. As in Jeopardy, that is.

I'll take oral sex for any price. I'll give it for free.

Okay, seriously though, before the modern shower and hygiene standards, I can see a ban on this practice. BY supposedly showered very infrequently. No AC, dirt roads, no showers, nasty. 1 day at trek last week and I needed to bathe. A month of that and i imagine i couldn't even be in a room alone with myself, let alone in intimate positions with DW.

MalcolmVillager wrote: ↑Sat Jul 28, 2018 5:56 am

Hagoth wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:57 am I'll take oral sex for $200. As in Jeopardy, that is.

I'll take oral sex for any price. I'll give it for free.

Okay, seriously though, before the modern shower and hygiene standards, I can see a ban on this practice. BY supposedly showered very infrequently. No AC, dirt roads, no showers, nasty. 1 day at trek last week and I needed to bathe. A month of that and i imagine i couldn't even be in a room alone with myself, let alone in intimate positions with DW.

But the only official statement about it that I'm aware of was from Spencer Kimball. I'm assuming he and Camilla had access to a shower. In fact, they probably used it for washing their Gs at the same time, so there would never be a need to expose their nekkidness.

Hagoth wrote: ↑Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:16 pm n fact, they probably used it for washing their Gs at the same time, so there would never be a need to expose their nekkidness.

Gross