My DW is very much like OP's, a "TBM through and through...no matter what is false about the church, the church is still true" type of person.
I don't worry much about the kids. Mine are older and they've grown up know that dad doesn't believe, so they get both sides of the story way or another. No unquestioned brainwashing allowed.
The CES Letter isn't for every situation. That's why many prefer "Letter to my Wife".
Frankly, my favorite "anti" is FAIR and the essays. No way in hell a half way reasonable person (yes, I know that doesn't necessarily include your TBM spouse or mine) comes away from either of those without a heavy shelf. You have to have an apologists "truth is whatever you want it to be" mentality to have the slightest chance to be okay with all the blatant rationalizations, excuses, and outright deception you find there.
Anyway, good luck everyone. We're all in this together.
Struggling with MFR - trying to figure out how to make it work w/ kids and us
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Vlad the Emailer
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Re: Struggling with MFR - trying to figure out how to make it work w/ kids and us
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease being mistaken, or cease being honest. - Anonymous
Say what you want about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying. - Kurt Vonnegut
Say what you want about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying. - Kurt Vonnegut
Re: Struggling with MFR - trying to figure out how to make it work w/ kids and us
Yeah - I think Letter For My Wife is better than CES Letter - the tone makes it better although if someone goes into fight or flight mode, it won't matter.
I am struggling today - I think that seems to be common on Mondays. You know they've worked a lot on the Sunday lesson and then they're really into church mode and I'm just sitting here thinking "She doesn't even *want* to know the truth..."
Hopefully I can keep figuring out a way to ignore my urge to make a comment about it. For now I'm just doing more research and taking notes for myself.
I think you're right on the essays - I just started reading Hagoth's annotated essays and they're really good. Would love to get my wife to read those someday, but I just don't think she's ever willing to face up to what she knows might be the reality of her church.
I am struggling today - I think that seems to be common on Mondays. You know they've worked a lot on the Sunday lesson and then they're really into church mode and I'm just sitting here thinking "She doesn't even *want* to know the truth..."
Hopefully I can keep figuring out a way to ignore my urge to make a comment about it. For now I'm just doing more research and taking notes for myself.
I think you're right on the essays - I just started reading Hagoth's annotated essays and they're really good. Would love to get my wife to read those someday, but I just don't think she's ever willing to face up to what she knows might be the reality of her church.