Mixed Faith Marriage Workbook

[Linked]

How do your conversations end? On a high note? Or mostly with disappointment and hurt?

With an episode of Psych lately. It was impossible not to end with hurt initially, but the more we talk and more often the better it has been. Never on a high note, my wife angrily tolerates these talks.

[a1986]

That sounds promising. My husband and I are in a similar situation--we're trying couples counseling and now I've printed off the workbook. We also have "heart to hearts" regularly, but mostly after I initiate. I also pushed for the counseling. His issue is more centered around wanting to avoid any conflict / "contention." I feel he confuses honesty with being "mean" or potentially hurting the other person. It took him forever to admit that he has also been considering divorce after I told him I'd been thinking about it.

At least your wife is honest I suppose? Why do you think she doesn't want to do the workbook? Why didn't she like counseling?

Your husband sounds a lot like my wife in that regard, she seems to think that keeping the peace justifies keeping everything buried. I feel like getting them out in the open is the only way to understand and change the situation for the better. Getting her to be honest has been a long journey and she only seems to do it in anger right now, but we are in the early days of honest communication still.

She didn't like counseling and doesn't like the workbook because the situation is so bleak to her. Whenever she really confronts it she feels like we are probably wasting our time and should just get divorced already. It's possible she is right, but I hold out hope that we might be able to work through this pain and build up our relationship; but I think the only way to do that is more communication which makes her feel more bad about our situation. Just gotta get over the hump. It's weird though, because she says she is always aware and in pain of how bad things are, so ignoring it doesn't make her happy either. She is resigned to the idea that all paths lead to her misery, it's really sad.
[/quote]

Oh wow. . . that sounds very difficult for both you and her. I hope that both of you are able to get over the "hump" and come to some sort of positive solution, whatever that might be. That is very sad. I feel for your wife, sounds like she feels pretty hopeless at the moment. It's a good thing you still hold out some hope. Good luck to you both.

[a1986]

Question for anyone here, not just Linked.

How do your conversations end? On a high note? Or mostly with disappointment and hurt?

Out therapist suggested ways to try and end the conversations on a high note and a hug. Like hugging it out and thanking each other for the conversation. Mutual appreciation of sorts.

Ours always ended well because the feeling of being able to be honest with each other brought us closer together, only if it was temporarily. I agree with the "ending on a high note" idea. Also from the other end. . . opening the convo with some "happy thoughts" or sentiments to set the right mood is a good idea I think.

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

Wife and I discussed this and we are going to give the workbook a try. We'll see how it goes.

[Linked]

Wife and I discussed this and we are going to give the workbook a try. We'll see how it goes.

That's great, I hope it brings you guys closer together!

[Linked]

Wife and I discussed this and we are going to give the workbook a try. We'll see how it goes.

How's it going for you guys?

[Linked]

We finished the 60 "get to know you" questions, and DW seems less antagonistic each time. She wouldn't drive the bus if I stopped, but she doesn't get visibly angry whenever we start doing the worksheet anymore.

Now we have to write in depth about our strengths, hopes, and dreams. I am really looking forward to this, and I'm sure DW is dreading it. I can guarantee that my writings will be at least double, maybe 4x as long as hers. But that's ok.

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

Wife and I discussed this and we are going to give the workbook a try. We'll see how it goes.

How's it going for you guys?

Haven't started yet. The discussion about it opened up enough natural dialogue to calm the waters enough lately that I haven't yet felt it necessary at this point.