Multilevel Marketing Opportunity

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

We know that mormons, sorry, I mean Latter-day Saints, have a great affinity for the following:

1) Porn. We know this because the leaders are constantly warning the members to stay away from it AND coming up with programs to combat it...so it must be a significant issue right? I mean the leaders would never waste their time on something insignificant.
2) Slogans. Every member loves a good slogan, from Tender Mercies, Covenant Path, Eternal Families, Ponderize This, there isn't anything a Mormon loves more than putting a repetitive label on something.
3) Multi-level marketing. There are more pyramid schemes, sorry, multilevel marketing corporations headquartered in Utah than in the other 49 states combined.

So, in the interest of fleecing the sheep, sorry, I mean taking care of the needs of the flock I offer the following proposal.

Mormon Porn
Available only through your ministering brother or ministering sister, each ministering brother or sister will earn 10% of the sale price of each video. After all, if 10% is good enough for the Lawd it should be good enough for you.
Your Elders Quorum and/or Relief Society President represent your upstream and they receive 20% of each sale.

Each video is available to be delivered in a format of your choice (streaming, DVD, VHS, BetaMax, Filmstrip, or in live session) depending on which choice generation you are a part of.

Every video is titled with a faith producing slogan and familiar slogan: Some favorite titles include: Nephi's Rod of Iron, The RELIEF Society, Cum Cum Ye Saints!, The Endowment, Bow your Head and say Yes!, and many others.

This is an exciting opportunity to not only meet the need of the Saints but to follow the profit as well, so hurry and get in now. This is a limited time offer. Some exclusions apply.

-lost

[Zeezrom]

lmao

[Red Ryder]

Does tithing settlement become auditions for ward members?

Hello (step) Sister Anderson! Welcome to tithing settlement….

[2bizE]

Would these sessions be available for audio on 8 track cassette?

[Hagoth]

These would use all of the heartsell (tm) techniques, so you will feel the spirit while you watch them, right?

Suggestion: yours and your spouse's faces are superimposed on the actors to assure that no is committing adultery in their heart.