Angel wrote: ↑Fri Jun 11, 2021 7:43 am. Yes - Service is token service, for things that are "socially acceptable". Having a relative who is mentally handicapped, autistic, or otherwise disabled? NOT socially acceptable, so no service (or party invites, or church activities) for you or your family. Going through a divorce because your "protector and provider" is a dependent abusive adulterer? Well, that is not a "socially acceptable" problem, in fact, you must be lying about that problem because all men are priesthood holders who support and protect women, so no service and shunning for you. Did you sprain your pinkie while tugging the arm of an out-of-control autistic child? Oh you poor thing, let's get you a priesthood blessing for your sprained pinkie!! Then let's talk about how that unruly child should not be allowed in primary as it is just too disruptive to the others in the building.
Ever learning, never coming to a knowledge of the truth.
Well, an accident with brain injury should be socially acceptable, but the amount of service needed could become too much, so let’s not even consider any service. It could be years before he is even out of an institution, and the ward simply cannot be expected to give long term service. They can’t be expected to make sure other children in the family get fed while the parents are traveling back and forth to the hospital 70 miles away for the brain trauma unit or like giving rides to other children while mom is doing full time nursing care because the family cannot afford full time nursing care. The needed service needs to be fairly simple, like meals taken in for maybe a week tops. But if it looks like that isn’t going to cover it, well then don’t even start because you might raise expectations, or something.
But yes, as well as fairly simple, the problem needs to be a socially acceptable problem.
So, don’t get me started on how the church treats parents of disruptive autistic children. I have a close friend who has three highly intelligent, but highly autistic children. The kind that strip naked in primary, then bolt from the building. Yup. She was expected to control all three at once if she wanted to attend church. And of course, no one was getting anything but frustration attending church. So, her family quit going to church and now that those “difficult children” have full ride scholarships to Ivy League universities, do you think anyone in that family is going back to church?
Special helper given a full time 3 meetings a week calling, like was given in my ward for the deaf child so that her parents could actually go the their meetings, are you kidding? For a “difficult” child? A deaf child is socially acceptable, so issue a calling for a person to translate all meetings into Sign so that child can “hear” the meeting and her parents can still enjoy a relaxing church experience. But a person to help control an “uncontrollable” child, nope that is asking too much.
See, the real problem is leadership roulette. One bishop may decide to help, where another has a personal grudge or some kind of problem with helping. Church isn’t like a box of chocolates where you never know what you are going to get. Church is like Bott’s every flavor beans, where you REALLY don’t know what you are going to get.
