I won't bore people with my long life story but I had a very difficult time growing up in the church. I had trouble fitting in, people were rude and unkind to me. I left the church when I was a Priest and was mainly forgotten about, no YW wanted to date me anyway and no YM wanted to be my friend. I just faded away, nobody gave too hoots. I married my Wife when I was 20, wanted to come back to the church 10 years later, was threatened with Bishop's Court, eventually got pardoned by the SP (who knew me) and I stayed active for 5 years. My Wife said I had to choose between the church and her, well, easy choice right? Nobody followed up with me, missed me, whatever. One of my callings was Ward Website Technologist and my phone number was on the back of every program each Sunday. Did anyone ever look at my name and ask who this guy was? I was on the back of the program over 4 years after I left.
I eventually made it to Community of Christ and have been going there for over 4 years. I have had some great experiences, but I don't seem to fit in there either. The local congregational life is, in a word, a mess. I don't have anything in common with people my age, especially the men. I even made a pilgrimage to a congregation that had a lot of people my age present, several states away, and was largely ignored. I know people are busy, but if I were drinking the kool-aid more, people would make more of an effort. I am still involved with Community of Christ, go there at least two Sundays a month and on social media but my participation is toned down a bit.
I am feeling a pull back to the LDS church. If you are familiar with James Fowler's Stages of Faith, I would say I am a solid stage 5. I know Mormonism is complicated and doesn't always make sense but I have learned to accept doctrine and people as they are. I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants and prefer the Inspired Version / JST of the Bible. I am all in on Joseph Smith JR but I think he has been twisted around, thrown under the bus to suit whoever is in charge. It is easy to blame a dead man for problems of the day.
I have also taken the authority away for my faith journey, that means, I no longer give strangers authority to talk to God for me, judge me or threaten my spiritual self. I am responsible for me and won't ask for anything from anyone. I want to simply go to church on Sunday and be left alone. I found a way to accomplish this, but I am not sure how long term it is. I'd share my idea, but I don't want someone to ruin it for me in case there is a way to identify who I am. I can assure you, it is something that people don't usually do.
Has anyone ever tried to be a Sunday pew sitting Mormon long term? No authority, no temple.. Sing the hymns, listen to speakers, dwell in the spirit while people take the sacrament (not taking myself) and go home after Sunday School. Is it possible to not have a testimony of Eternal Families and still go to church?
Thanks for reading and your future replies.
