Primary Teachers are Annoying

[Linked]

My kids are getting visits from their primary teachers almost every week. It's hard to take the visits as anything but them trying to steal my kids hearts from me.

They praise them for the times they show up at the primary zoom calls. They give them treats with messages about hoping to see them more. The give them sticker charts for reading the doctrine and covenants (to a 6 year old???). And then they give me a sideways glance when they say that they are sure that they are learning all these things at home while standing in my doorway.

Please stop trying to indoctrinate my kids by manipulating their young minds.

[Red Ryder]

Well to be fair, they are gospel pushing zombies.

Sister Ryder and I used to team teach a primary class. We were constantly asked to do this stuff by the primary president. It wasn’t our idea to love bomb the kids with church swag like this. Yet every other week someone in the primary presidency was dropping loot off at our door with elaborate instructions to put together “kits” and drop of at the kids houses. I finally started throwing it all away when I found it on the door step because if I didn’t Sister Ryder would follow the instructions and I’d find myself driving her to 10 different houses. The best was when they dropped off chocolate bars during the summer. That wasn’t clearly thought through.

At the heart of Mormonism is busy work.

Use the pandemic to your advantage and shut down all visits from church members.

[nibbler]

FWIW during our last stake conference the attending authority mentioned that child of record baptisms fell dramatically due to covid. Many kids aren't getting baptized when they turned 8. There were a lot of concerns that the kids would fall through the cracks, jeopardizing the future of the church.

They leaned on the primary and YM/YW leaders to do much more to make sure the youth don't make their vacation from church permanent.

I didn't share their more immediate concern. Kids don't leave the home at 8 years old and the pandemic isn't going to last a decade (I hope). Kids that didn't get baptized because their orthodox families didn't feel safe during covid will do it as soon as they feel safe, in a year, maybe two.

I'm sure youth retention will be a huge theme going forward.

[jfro18]

This is just so frustrating!

My kid hasn't been to church now in almost 3 years because DW and I just don't quite have a good way to balance our views if he goes every week but I'm not allowed to talk about where I'm at, so it's been a long time. My kid does not miss it and outside of the initial weeks, has never once asked to go to church with her.

Yet the primary teachers and/or presidency comes every few weeks (or months when there aren't holidays) to drop off candy and say hi. They mail letters saying how much they miss him and that they hope he's doing good, etc.

I have no idea if they ask DW about coming by, but they are adding another layer of stress to everything. I know in their minds it is well intended, but it does not help, my kid still has no idea who they are or what they're even doing, and the only people it really impacts are DW and me.

So you're right - they are annoying. My kid is now 8 so they want him baptized, but it's not going to happen at least anytime soon... but they're going to have an eye on him until he does, because they don't want to lose him to (I guess?) his apostate father.

In recent months they came by for Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day and I believe they came by in January at some point although I'm not sure why. They have also mailed him letters a few times in that period as well with stickers/a little gift card type thing.

[Linked]

Well to be fair, they are gospel pushing zombies.

...

The best was when they dropped off chocolate bars during the summer. That wasn’t clearly thought through.

Hahaha, best to be fair. Maybe they wanted you to have something to pour over ice cream?

FWIW during our last stake conference the attending authority mentioned that child of record baptisms fell dramatically due to covid. Many kids aren't getting baptized when they turned 8. There were a lot of concerns that the kids would fall through the cracks, jeopardizing the future of the church.

They leaned on the primary and YM/YW leaders to do much more to make sure the youth don't make their vacation from church permanent.

I didn't share their more immediate concern. Kids don't leave the home at 8 years old and the pandemic isn't going to last a decade (I hope). Kids that didn't get baptized because their orthodox families didn't feel safe during covid will do it as soon as they feel safe, in a year, maybe two.

I'm sure youth retention will be a huge theme going forward.

That's a good point. I'm sure they are pushing how important it is to make regular contact with the kids so they don't "lose" them. Don't worry primary folks, I'll keep an eye on them.

This is just so frustrating!

My kid hasn't been to church now in almost 3 years because DW and I just don't quite have a good way to balance our views if he goes every week but I'm not allowed to talk about where I'm at, so it's been a long time. My kid does not miss it and outside of the initial weeks, has never once asked to go to church with her.

Yet the primary teachers and/or presidency comes every few weeks (or months when there aren't holidays) to drop off candy and say hi. They mail letters saying how much they miss him and that they hope he's doing good, etc.

I have no idea if they ask DW about coming by, but they are adding another layer of stress to everything. I know in their minds it is well intended, but it does not help, my kid still has no idea who they are or what they're even doing, and the only people it really impacts are DW and me.

So you're right - they are annoying. My kid is now 8 so they want him baptized, but it's not going to happen at least anytime soon... but they're going to have an eye on him until he does, because they don't want to lose him to (I guess?) his apostate father.

In recent months they came by for Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day and I believe they came by in January at some point although I'm not sure why. They have also mailed him letters a few times in that period as well with stickers/a little gift card type thing.

It's an early exposure to the fake friendship the church offers. Write a generic testimony-affirming note, attach to cookies, smile a lot, and repeat next month. And the kids are not interested in getting friendly with some adult stranger. But the added stress to relationships is real. It's nice to have company, but I'm sorry you have to go through this too.

[wtfluff]

All-Righteee.

Let's be honest here: This same type of annoying behavior doesn't just happen with primary teachers; It continues right through adulthood, basically until you die. (As the Red Cowboy has mentioned.) And again, if we're being honest: If the MORmON version of the afterlife is real, this creepy behavior will continue then also, for eternity.

[hmb]

Just think how good the teacher feels when he/she can check it off the list. I remember how relieved I would feel when I accomplished some dumb calling for the week or month. Go me. I would get a few days of freedom before the gnawing "calling" began picking at my brain, and then the guilt would begin to build again. I figured I was never stocking up on blessings anyway, since I never did those duties with a happy heart. Glad those days are behind me.

Primary teachers and others can be super annoying. I kind of feel sorry for them though.

[moksha]

Times have changed. I can't remember them ever doing anything like that when I was a kid, although they did have a movie at the local stake center every Saturday morning for the kids, with cheap admission and affordable candy prices.

[Linked]

And they dropped off coupons for free ice cream at Arctic Circle yesterday. Don't we tell kids not to get in the car with adults offering them candy? This is unrelated adults trying to get very young kids into the metaphorical car of the church using candy. It seems like they should feel slimy for using these tactics, maybe they do and this is pushing some of them away. I suppose my church membership is tacit approval for whatever tactics the church uses, and DW is TBM so she appreciates their efforts.

Just think how good the teacher feels when he/she can check it off the list. I remember how relieved I would feel when I accomplished some dumb calling for the week or month. Go me. I would get a few days of freedom before the gnawing "calling" began picking at my brain, and then the guilt would begin to build again. I figured I was never stocking up on blessings anyway, since I never did those duties with a happy heart. Glad those days are behind me.

Primary teachers and others can be super annoying. I kind of feel sorry for them though.

Yeah, I definitely feel bad for them. If they are all in then they have way more busy work. If they are thoughtful then they have more busy work and feel bad about manipulating kids. I feel less bad when they give me a sideways glance and tell me how to parent.

[hmb]

And they dropped off coupons for free ice cream at Arctic Circle yesterday. Don't we tell kids not to get in the car with adults offering them candy? This is unrelated adults trying to get very young kids into the metaphorical car of the church using candy. It seems like they should feel slimy for using these tactics, maybe they do and this is pushing some of them away. I suppose my church membership is tacit approval for whatever tactics the church uses, and DW is TBM so she appreciates their efforts.

Just think how good the teacher feels when he/she can check it off the list. I remember how relieved I would feel when I accomplished some dumb calling for the week or month. Go me. I would get a few days of freedom before the gnawing "calling" began picking at my brain, and then the guilt would begin to build again. I figured I was never stocking up on blessings anyway, since I never did those duties with a happy heart. Glad those days are behind me.

Primary teachers and others can be super annoying. I kind of feel sorry for them though.

Yeah, I definitely feel bad for them. If they are all in then they have way more busy work. If they are thoughtful then they have more busy work and feel bad about manipulating kids. I feel less bad when they give me a sideways glance and tell me how to parent.

The sideways glance was something I would get as a person who made the poor choice to not marry a worthy mormon in the temple. I was a "less than." Of course, once I became inactive, the glance became more like "avoid the virus." It didn't take long for them to drop me, for which I feel lucky. My kids were grown and my female status wasn't priority (again lucky). I'm sure they missed my tithing though. I was good about regularly paying (not lucky). Telling you how to parent is not something I'd give anyone a pass for. Unless asked for, nobody has that right. I'd be pissed.

[glass shelf]

Before I left the Mormon church, a really heavy item on my self was related to this. It came from an internet board I used to frequent for Mormon moms some of them had left the church but stayed on the board.

Anyways, one of the ex-mos told everyone to imagine these same scenarios playing out with a soccer coach for a team that your kid had dropped out of. If it seemed inappropriate for that, it wasn't magically appropriate because it was Mormons doing it. It really changed how I viewed "antagonistic" exmos. I mean, who the heck wants people behaving this way? It was also why, even then, I knew if I left the church one day I'd resign asap because I wasn't going to put up with this nonsense.

It's weird and wrong. Mormons are trained to have poor boundaries.

[alas]

All-Righteee.

Let's be honest here: This same type of annoying behavior doesn't just happen with primary teachers; It continues right through adulthood, basically until you die. (As the Red Cowboy has mentioned.) And again, if we're being honest: If the MORmON version of the afterlife is real, this creepy behavior will continue then also, for eternity.

And right now there must be some kind of push to get people back in the pews. In the last week, we have had our male minister, the RSP, the EQP, and my sister ministers all visit or call. They brought brownies and chocolate and other goodies, so mind you, I am not complaining, but it seems VERY strange that we go for years with maybe one visit a year to four in one week.

[Red Ryder]

Yes alas, they are pushing.

Our buildings all have a large sign out front advertising a “Sunday open house” from 1-3pm.

That’s new for this southern part of the Moridor.