The Third Way Fails Again

[Archimedes]

Well, I used to think my marriage was an example of a "Third Way" Mormon marriage with one believing and one not-believing spouse. In my case, at least, that has failed. Despite my best efforts to keep the peace, she split over the holidays and filed for divorce on me. I am left with all the bills, having to keep the company running, and a suicidal 17-year old that she did a real number on.

So you can scratch me off the list of LSD church attending non-believers, I will be having my name removed from the ledgers once the divorce is final.

[Not Buying It]

I am so, so sorry to hear it.

[Archimedes]

Thank you NBI.

[Linked]

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there Archimedes.

[lostintime]

Dude that sucks. I've been frequenting NOM for about 9 years now, and while it was easy for awhile, lately I've been finding that hearing stories like this over and over just keep slowly building, and now suddenly I'm starting to experience some of the anger I've been hearing about from others for all these years. I can feel myself reaching a point where I might just have to be done with the church.

[Lithium Sunset]

My heart is just broken for you.... I literally know what you are going through with your son and it's so incredibly painful but then you have this heaped on top(things are tense in the marriage here too).
Maybe divorce is for the best so she can be taken out of the equation and he can get the help he needs?
That sucks about the financial part. Was she a stay at home mom?

Wishing better days for you and your son. I'll be thinking about you.

We should start a divorce thread. I was waiting to start it at the library. I didn't want to upset my husband. I am starving to hear others stories... particularly those who have been through it and are in a better place. I just want to know while I'm on this side. I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to share though.

It makes me angry too lostintime.

[Spicy McHaggis]

I'm so sorry to hear this. If you're in the SLC area I'm sure we can get a group together for lunch if you need to talk about it.

[Silver Girl]

I'm so sorry - so very sorry. This would hurt in so many ways. I'm sending you prayers and caring thoughts - wish we could all be there to help.

[Corsair]

This is the worst. I am sorry that we can offer only sympathy and a listening ear since you will be shouldering the hard work going forward.

[NotKeepingQuiet]

I wish I could offer real hugs...but here are some virtual ones instead.....

[RubinHighlander]

Sucks!!!

Brings back ugly memories of my first marriage, when I was served those papers at my office; like a kick right in the balls! So many bad memories, so much money wasted over the years on attorney fees, fighting for kids and $$. So glad that's behind me now. There's not much comfort I can offer other than my empathy and that time will eventually make life better again. Take lots of deep breaths. Sometimes is not just one day at a time, but minute by minute. Lean on your friends, both here and those physically around you. Best stress reliever for me was frequent trips to the outdoors in the mountains. I'd stay away from booze if there's any history of issues in your family tree; MJ can take the edge off if you are inclined to gain some relief.

For your teen, increase in love and quality time with honest open talks that don't trash mom, but just work through the issues, treating them like an adult with lots of respect and understanding for what you are both going through. If you are in the Davis County area I have a good counselor I can recommend, just DM me. My DD recently went through a suicide attempt two months ago; things seemed pretty broken with her. But, with some good counseling and some meds she's back to an awesome, happy and fun teen again. She has a new batch of friends, did good on her school sports team and the grades are coming back up. We didn't want to do the meds but we found the family depression issues were there and it's better than the alternative to have her miserable and wanting to end her own life.

If you are ever in SLC I'd be happy to buy you a beer and talk. Hang in there!

[fh451]

Wow, that sucks, dude. Really sucks... bigtime. My sincere condolences.

fh451

[2bizE]

I am so sorry for you. I cannot even process how difficult this must be. May your future improve and you be freed from the grasp of the church.

[wtfluff]

Condolences.

Like others have said, if there's anything that any of us can do, please reach out...

[MoPag]

((hugs))

It will get better. I know it doesn't seem like it right now. But it will, I promise.

Is your 17 year old still in the church? Maybe before you leave, hit them up for some free counseling.

Just take things one day at a time. Sometimes you just have to take things one hour at a time.

Rubin is right Stay away from depressants. You need a clear head right now for you and your son.

We are here for you too. Please keep us updated.

[Korihor]

my deepest condolences

[Vlad the Emailer]

I'm very sorry, Archimedes, that this is what life has brought you.

I'll bet, though, that you and your son will be much better off.

Obviously there will be a lot that will suck in the meantime, but so many in your position are so much happier down the road. We all certainly wish that for you and your son!

[MalcolmVillager]

So sorry brother! I wish I could help. The sun does come out!

[Anon70]

Sending you positive thoughts. So sorry.

[Mormorrisey]

Reading posts like this not only makes me sad, but makes me worry about my own future. So sorry to hear this news.