Opening Up Church Again

[Hagoth]

Matt. 25

"Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves."

Church leadership either makes people more judgemental than they were before or the Corp just sucks the life out of you.

That verse used to haunt me on my mission. What if it turned out that I was wrong? Oops. It did.

[Hagoth]

I suppose I should applaud the Church's attempt to be more inclusive - but it rings so hollow when a couple of years ago they still had lesson manuals discouraging interracial marriage:

Does the PR department outrank the prophets?

Brigham Young: "If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so."

John Taylor: "And if any man mingle his seed with the seed of Cain the only way he could get rid of it or have Salvation would be to come forward and have his head cut off and spill his blood upon the ground- it would also take the life of his children."

[Mackman]

All I know is that I will use the excuse of I'm not comfortable returning to church before their is a vaccine!!!! True or not matters not.

[Hagoth]

Mrs. Hagoth read a story in the paper yesterday about a guy who went to church and infected a lot of fellow congregants who took it home and spread to others, resulting in thousands of sick people and numerous deaths. This was in S. Korea where their tracking has been much better than we have been able to achieve here. Mrs Hagoth: "I'm not going back to church for a long time!"

[Not Buying It]

I suppose I should applaud the Church's attempt to be more inclusive - but it rings so hollow when a couple of years ago they still had lesson manuals discouraging interracial marriage:

Does the PR department outrank the prophets?

Brigham Young: "If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so."

John Taylor: "And if any man mingle his seed with the seed of Cain the only way he could get rid of it or have Salvation would be to come forward and have his head cut off and spill his blood upon the ground- it would also take the life of his children."

Sometimes. President Newsroom seems to outrank everybody.

[Red Ryder]

How will going back to church work?

Sacrament can’t be passed person to person.
Will everyone have to line up and walk up to the sacrament table?

Hallways are too crowded between hours. Will they reduce church to one hour?

Classrooms are too small. Older members are at risk.

Temples? Forget the handshakes.

How can the church even consider having members go back?

Stay home please.

[Hagoth]

I just got an email from our Stake Presidency informing us that regular church meetings will begin again next month. They haven't elaborated on the details yet and are mostly focused on acquiring sanitation supplies and developing a cleaning regimen (family assignments?). I was glad to see that they said you shouldn't feel an obligation to attend, but they followed it with a quote from the BoM about meeting together oft "to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls," so I worry that the usual social competitiveness - are you one of us faithful, valiant members? - might either shame or motivate people into showing up against their better judgement.

Also...

Do you think people are enjoying feeling stress-free about regular temple attendance, or are they dying to rush back in and get caught up on their film watching and handshaking?

[Spicy McHaggis]

They will have to do something different with the sacrament, there is no way it is sanitary as it. I believe Joseph F Smith died from the flu during that pandemic 100 years ago. It is thought he got it from the sacrament, when everyone drank from the same cup.

This could hit the older TBMs really hard if the church is foolish enough to go back to the status quo.

[Give It Time]

My ward shares the building with one other ward.

• Meetings are starting in June

• My ward will meet on one Sunday a month

• The other ward will take another

• Families will be assigned a meeting time and they will be keeping the meetings to 99 or fewer.

• Please stick to your time. Please don't invite guests. They will not turn people away if they go over 100.

• There will be ushers to help people find appropriate socially distant seating.

• I'm assuming you've read about the measures the priesthood will be taking to wash their hands, etc.

• The bread will be spaced out on the tray. The water will be spaced out on the tray. There will be a separate tray for disposing of spent cups.

• The deacon will walk along the row and hold the tray in front of each person, personally.

• Meetings will be 45 minutes long

• There will be no singing

• Doorknobs, handles, pews, pulpit, trays, etc. will be sanitized between meetings

I think this is probably about the best they can do. All things, considered.

[Hagoth]

• The bread will be spaced out on the tray. The water will be spaced out on the tray. There will be a separate tray for disposing of spent cups.

I'm still holding out for a Pez dispenser of compressed Wonder Bread and a squirt gun of holy water. Both are blessed at the same time, then as the deacon approaches you tilt your head back and open your mouth like a baby bird. He drops a bread brick in your mouth and chases it with a squirt of water.

BTW, the Pez dispensers come in 15-packs, with the heads of the High Sheriffs on them. Collect the entire set!

[wtfluff]

Do you think people are enjoying feeling stress-free about regular temple attendance, or are they dying to rush back in and get caught up on their film watching and handshaking?

I think that temple attendance for many folks is more about socializing, than it is about films and holy handshakes.

Personally... Creepy plagiarized cult ceremonies are a a REALLY WEIRD from of socializing, but I suppose many of my "hobbies" may seem weird to non-participants. I'll choose styrofoam beer-cooler head-wear (bike helmet) over fake Masonic Baker's hats any day.

[Red Ryder]

Ok this back to church routine is really dumb.

Spaced out bread?
Spaced out water cups?

No singing?
Cleaning assignments?

Can I wear a space suit and helmet for dramatic effect?

How is it the church can always find ways to make the most boring church services on the entire planet even worse?

That’s it. I’m going to stay home forever!

[Hagoth]

I'll choose styrofoam beer-cooler head-wear (bike helmet) over fake Masonic Baker's hats any day.

Boy me too! This morning I did an endo and slammed my head into a log. Praise be to the Great Goddess Polly Styrene! Once the stars stopped spinning I took a moment to offer her a prayer of thanks in the quiet, green celestial room o' nature.

[wtfluff]

Boy me too! This morning I did an endo and slammed my head into a log. Praise be to the Great Goddess Polly Styrene! Once the stars stopped spinning I took a moment to offer her a prayer of thanks in the quiet, green celestial room o' nature.

You probably know this, but if there are any compression spots, or cracks, or anything of that sort in that Polystyrene, you need a new beer cooler (for your head.)

[Hagoth]

Boy me too! This morning I did an endo and slammed my head into a log. Praise be to the Great Goddess Polly Styrene! Once the stars stopped spinning I took a moment to offer her a prayer of thanks in the quiet, green celestial room o' nature.

You probably know this, but if there are any compression spots, or cracks, or anything of that sort in that Polystyrene, you need a new beer cooler (for your head.)

I already placed my order for Father's Day!