Salt Lake City, Utah
March 9, 2020
Today the senior leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) announced adjustments to the LDS church temple procedures. President Russell M. Nelson stated “In the world we live in today, where good vs evil continues to rage, we as members of the one true church we can all do our part to save the world from COVID-19 by attending the temple and participating in the sacred ordinance found there in. Starting today, all temples across the world will be retrofitted to accommodate large storage tanks of Lysol. As more members of the church attend the temple, these Lysol storage tanks will pump disinfected spray through Moroni’s trumpet and cleanse the world of all virus’ while redeeming the dead.
How Mormon’s save the planet
How Mormon’s save the planet
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy
“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
Re: How Mormon’s save the planet
Next open mic Sunday, all TBMs bear their testimony about the truly prophetic design of Moroni's trumpet and the use of consecrated Lysol.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound
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RubinHighlander
- Posts: 1906
- Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:20 am
- Location: Behind the Zion Curtain
Re: How Mormon’s save the planet
It would have to be Lysol, because all good mormons know the consecrated oil doesn't help anyone except those with the faith not to be healed.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE
--Douglas Adams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE
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Sheamus Moore
- Posts: 90
- Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 1:16 pm
Re: How Mormon’s save the planet
Lysol, ha!
I’m reminded of the fact it was originally marketed as a feminine hygiene product. Early formulas also induced abortions.
I’m reminded of the fact it was originally marketed as a feminine hygiene product. Early formulas also induced abortions.
- Poise
- F3AFE590-9FE4-4973-A6B5-346F476E70B3.jpeg (24.64 KiB) Viewed 3236 times
Re: How Mormon’s save the planet
And those who receive the 3rd anointing will be assured of a place in the Lysol Kingdom.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain
Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."
Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."