In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter says)

[Thoughtful]

Son answered the door. He said, "You must be new here."

They said, yep, 3 weeks. 3 months.

Son, "We are distancing ourselves from this. My dad doesn't want to see you."

Lucky I didnt get the door. I'd have said, "you got 3 seconds to git off my propity. One, two..."

[Palerider]

Ha!

The conversation goes something like this:

"Okay guys, since we're the new Bishopric we need to go through all the ward membership records and check out everyone's activity level."

First Counselor:

"Sounds good Bishop but what about these families who have requested no contact from the church?"

Bishop:

"Yeah, we better contact them just to make sure they don't want to have any contact from us. You never know, they may have changed their minds.".........🤪

[Thoughtful]

Ha!

The conversation goes something like this:

"Okay guys, since we're the new Bishopric we need to go through all the ward membership records and check out everyone's activity level."

First Counselor:

"Sounds good Bishop but what about these families who have requested no contact from the church?"

Bishop:

"Yeah, we better contact them just to make sure they don't want to have any contact from us. You never know, they may have changed their minds.".........🤪

Oh, I assure you its worse. This is a "we handle child molestation in house" type of bishop. He went to HS with Spouseman. He knows kids and I have resigned and tried to personally intimidate law enforcement not to prosecute the family pedo.

[RubinHighlander]

We are now at a point I invite them in and have an honest and civil discussion with them as to why it was we left. They never return after that.

[Red Ryder]

As a kid, my dad was a bishop when we lived in a rural part of the PNW. He and his counselor had visited an inactive member and upon knocking on his door were met with a gun pointed at them. They didn’t panic and were able to talk there way into the home. All the man wanted was to be left alone which they agreed was best. On the way out, they invited him to the ward BBQ and surprisingly the man and his non-member wife actually showed up. A few weeks later they showed up at church. Then a few weeks after that they brought their kids. Nearly six months later the wife and 4 kids were all baptized. This man went on to become the Bishop of the ward and all kids served missions and married in the temple. To this day my dad points out that they were led by the spirit there to bring this family closer to Christ. Just kidding. I just made up this whole story! I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!

[wtfluff]

As a kid, my dad was a bishop when we lived in a rural part of the PNW. He and his counselor had visited an inactive member and upon knocking on his door were met with a gun pointed at them. They didn’t panic and were able to talk there way into the home. All the man wanted was to be left alone which they agreed was best. On the way out, they invited him to the ward BBQ and surprisingly the man and his non-member wife actually showed up. A few weeks later they showed up at church. Then a few weeks after that they brought their kids. Nearly six months later the wife and 4 kids were all baptized. This man went on to become the Bishop of the ward and all kids served missions and married in the temple. To this day my dad points out that they were led by the spirit there to bring this family closer to Christ. Just kidding. I just made up this whole story! I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!

That's some Q15-level "Careful Wording™" right there Red Cowboy.

It is quite funny how such stories get repeated so often in LD$-Inc.

I'd wager that many of them are just like yours: Completely made up.

[Palerider]

Oh, I assure you its worse. This is a "we handle child molestation in house" type of bishop. He went to HS with Spouseman. He knows kids and I have resigned and tried to personally intimidate law enforcement not to prosecute the family pedo.

Oh, I get it.

He's not a well intended slow learner. He's an arrogant, "we can cure anything cuz we got this here priesthood" hot mess.

[MoPag]

Ha!

The conversation goes something like this:

"Okay guys, since we're the new Bishopric we need to go through all the ward membership records and check out everyone's activity level."

First Counselor:

"Sounds good Bishop but what about these families who have requested no contact from the church?"

Bishop:

"Yeah, we better contact them just to make sure they don't want to have any contact from us. You never know, they may have changed their minds.".........🤪

Oh, I assure you its worse. This is a "we handle child molestation in house" type of bishop. He went to HS with Spouseman. He knows kids and I have resigned and tried to personally intimidate law enforcement not to prosecute the family pedo.

WOW!!!! That guy is a total piece of sh!t!!!!

[Corsair]

As a kid, my dad was a bishop when we lived in a rural part of the PNW. ...
... Just kidding. I just made up this whole story! I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!

Oh, nice going, Elder Paul H. Dunn. I was this close to paying tithing then I saw your honesty come out in the last line.

[slk]

RR, glad that story was made up. it was starting to piss me off. Paul H Dumb story for sure.

[Hagoth]

As a kid, my dad was a bishop when we lived in a rural part of the PNW. He and his counselor had visited an inactive member and upon knocking on his door were met with a gun pointed at them. They didn’t panic and were able to talk there way into the home. All the man wanted was to be left alone which they agreed was best. On the way out, they invited him to the ward BBQ and surprisingly the man and his non-member wife actually showed up. A few weeks later they showed up at church. Then a few weeks after that they brought their kids. Nearly six months later the wife and 4 kids were all baptized. This man went on to become the Bishop of the ward and all kids served missions and married in the temple. To this day my dad points out that they were led by the spirit there to bring this family closer to Christ. Just kidding. I just made up this whole story! I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!

Now that you have written this down someone is bound to come across it in a desperate last minute internet search to find a story for their church talk, without noticing the context. Then it goes SMV (Sacrament Meeting Viral).

[blazerb]

Ha!

The conversation goes something like this:

"Okay guys, since we're the new Bishopric we need to go through all the ward membership records and check out everyone's activity level."

First Counselor:

"Sounds good Bishop but what about these families who have requested no contact from the church?"

Bishop:

"Yeah, we better contact them just to make sure they don't want to have any contact from us. You never know, they may have changed their minds.".........🤪

Oh, I assure you its worse. This is a "we handle child molestation in house" type of bishop. He went to HS with Spouseman. He knows kids and I have resigned and tried to personally intimidate law enforcement not to prosecute the family pedo.

I used to be the kind of member that Palerider referenced. I am horrified that you ever had to deal with the kind of bishop this really is.

[Random]

Just kidding. I just made up this whole story!

Crap, you had me going there!

I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!

You totally should - better yet, conference talks.