From the newly discovered Gospel of John The Baptist

[Hagoth]

Exerpt from The Gospel of the Baptist, Chapter 8:10-15

10 Then came two young maidens from across the Jordan to be baptized of John, whose names were Sarah and Martha. John saith unto Sarah, surely thou canst not enter into the waters of baptism lest ye proclaim to me thy most secret deeds, for behold I am the bearer of the holy priesthood of God and no man entereth the companionship of the saints save by me. For behold, I say unto thee, obedience is the first law of heaven.

11 Then John took Sarah a little way off into a closed chamber and asked, Sarah, hast thou touched thy unholy regions? Yea saith Sarah, though it causeth her much pain and shame to say it. John asketh, with how many fingers didst thou thyself touch, with one, two, more? Sarah’s countenance fell and her heart was pained at her sin. She saith two. Didst thou penetrate thy holy sanctuary? Saith John. And many more things did The Baptist ask of her until he causeth her to know that her worth was less than that of the mud trodden under by the feet of men. And so did The Baptist lead Sarah to know that there would be no redemption for her this day.

12 Now Martha, who had been listening from afar off sayeth in her heart, I cannot speak the truth unto this man, for shame and disgrace will be my reward all the days of my life.

14 And so Martha, who was not as virtuous as Sarah, but being the wiser of the two, spoke only as she knew The Baptist wouldst have her speak. After many questions John saith unto her, maiden, I can find no fault with the. Unlike thy sister, thou art truly worthy of thy Lord’s love. Enter ye now into the waters of baptism and ye shall have redemption and shall find love in he body of thy Lord’s church.

15 So Martha went down to the water with John to be baptized and many saints did gather around and sang songs of praise to her. Afar off, went also Sarah alone into the river and cast herself under the water unto her eternal damnation.

[annotatedbom]

Jeez, this is so horrifically creepy/inappropriate, yet so spot on regarding LDS practices. You've got a masterpiece there. The cringe and disgust factor is off the charts, and yet it is fully permissible and done on a daily basis in la Iglesia.

I love your writing Hagoth. Well done!

[Hagoth]

I was in the march with Sam Young when we delivered a wagonload of real-life modern versions of such stories to the COB. I remember feeling excited by the thought that someone of import would come out to gracefully welcome this massive effort that Sam had made. Instead we got a guy who warned us not to touch their precious building. It's still hard for me to comprehend that kind of cold indifference. Of course, Sam's attempts to draw attention to the problem got him tossed out on his ear. Somehow it doesn't seem like it would take a great act of humility for someone to take the elevator down and talk to the guy, if not when the documents were delivered then at least after you have had a chance to read them. Or maybe ten or twenty days into his hunger strike. Would that have made them look weak and more sympathetic to the squeaky wheel than the well-oiled machine?

I don't know why I'm stewing on this today but it was what was on my mind when I woke up today.

[alas]

I was in the march with Sam Young when we delivered a wagonload of real-life modern versions of such stories to the COB. I remember feeling excited by the thought that someone of import would come out to gracefully welcome this massive effort that Sam had made. Instead we got a guy who warned us not to touch their precious building. It's still hard for me to comprehend that kind of cold indifference. Of course, Sam's attempts to draw attention to the problem got him tossed out on his ear. Somehow it doesn't seem like it would take a great act of humility for someone to take the elevator down and talk to the guy, if not when the documents were delivered then at least after you have had a chance to read them. Or maybe ten or twenty days into his hunger strike. Would that have made them look weak and more sympathetic to the squeaky wheel than the well-oiled machine?

I don't know why I'm stewing on this today but it was what was on my mind when I woke up today.

We must have a telepathic link. Something on one of the feminist blogs triggered me the other day, and after a sleepless night, I got to wondering why I care about Mormon feminism and especially “intersectionality” and why not stick to fighting my own battles, such as Sam Young was doing. Why care about some of the feminist issues when the church protects sexual predators such as Joseph Bishop and the majority of Mormons follow fakes news blindly and vote for a president who puts a rapist on the Supreme Court. And those Mormons think a rapist on the SCoUS is great. There are issues that hurt me far more than the girls get to hand out towels while the boys their age get to baptize people for the dead. The feminist Mormons weren’t the ones petitioning the church to stop the spiritual abuse of girls by having a middle aged man voyeristicly listening to her sexual confessions and breathing heavy as he asks for details. About the time you woke up I was no longer stewing on the feminist crap and was stewing about what next in the line of what Sam Young was doing.

[Hagoth]

We must have a telepathic link.

No doubt.

Also, I was talking to DPRoberts about it last week. He was at the march too, as were WTFluff and Deacon Blues, and probably a few others NOMsters.