Observation #5: Conversation Killer

[slavereeno]

Observation #5: Conversation is awkward and weird now.

Its not my TBM relatives as much as its me on this one. Most of my family are all VERY tbm, as in the word butt is a huge swear word TBM. Its rare, if impossible to have any conversation about any topic that does not turn into a church-is-true discussion. Politics, science, culture, literature, people, technology, sports etc., the church can be dovetailed into every one of those conversations. In fact, good missionaries make a point of it.

Here enters the problem. I try to avoid the church in conversations, since all I can do is listen to them and then try to dodge agreeing or disagreeing. Then it get awkward. So there is silence, neither of us knows what to talk about. Trying so hard to avoid anything controversial or get preached at has made me a terrible conversationalist, and since I am the one that has changed... That's just more evidence that I have lost the light of the gospel in my life.

[Keewon]

I hear you, Slavereeno.

Interestingly, one of the minor things that kept eating at my faith from fairly early on was the discovery that there are very good people, deeply moral, intelligent, with engaging and interesting views, who weren't LDS. If "having the light of the gospel" were all it's cracked up to be, why should the best people I knew not be LDS? Why should just having the "light of Christ" make a person more humane, delightful and interesting than, say, a Bruce R. McConkie, or even the resident Sunday school class scriptorian?

[Red Ryder]

I got three book recommendations for you to solve your dilemma:

This one needs no explanation.



This one really doesn’t either.



This one needs about 4,257 explanations but if you ignore those, read it with real intent, you can talk to all your friends, families, and neighbors for hours upon hours without giving any kind of thought or intellectual capital.

[græy]

I've struggled engaging my family in meaningful discussion for years. They're kept so busy with callings and shuttling kids to/from church activities that they do not spend any extra brain cycles on science, politics, literature, or any of the other topics you mention. The minute any talk leaves superficial levels it is brought right back to the church and how "it has always taught that if we follow (obey) everything will work out." Yes, it will work out. But it will work out despite you devoting your otherwise capable self to a useless time-suck of an organization, not because of it.

If God has a hand in any of this then he'd want us to use our minds, not just follow and believe without regard for what that actually means.

[slavereeno]

This one needs no explanation.

This one is my favorite. There is a bit of a chicken and egg problem with reading it. I would already need to not give a f*ck to have the courage to read the book to get the information on how to not give a f*ck!

[slavereeno]

Interestingly, one of the minor things that kept eating at my faith from fairly early on was the discovery that there are very good people, deeply moral, intelligent, with engaging and interesting views, who weren't LDS. If "having the light of the gospel" were all it's cracked up to be, why should the best people I knew not be LDS? Why should just having the "light of Christ" make a person more humane, delightful and interesting than, say, a Bruce R. McConkie, or even the resident Sunday school class scriptorian?

Once I was mentally fully out, I started bingeing on stuff I felt was "off limits" (or at least edgy) before: evolution, philosophy, cosmology, history, etc, but not a lot of the fam is interested.