Another chink in DW's TBM armor.

[MalcolmVillager]

I have really tried to stay positive with DW on the church front. I still probably slip some comments in from time to time, but I have just let her feel nonthreatened about church stuff. I have also doubled down on my commitment to her and whatever she wants of me.

She has recently said a few things like "the way we feel about the church" when talking about the way the church has hidden some inconvenient history. She has all but admitted that she doesn't disagree with me about anything with church doctrine or history.

She jokes about me going to hell for drinking coffee and watching R rated movies and stuff, to which I always reply "That's not why I'm going to Hell!" Tonight she happily said that she will be going with me since "we are sealed".

The best however was yesterday as we had an amazing conversation about the complexities of the essays and stuff. She was complaining about the pressure to do family history and missionary work. She said "They want us to preach the gospel to our friends when I wouldn't even join the church if I hadn't been born into it."

She still doesn't want to dig. The shelf is getting heavy though. We are both still in for the tribe, the community, family, and our girls. IDK what I would really do if I had complete freedom and no family or community consequences. I do appreciate all the good things about he doxy and praxy of Mormonism. I just wish it didn't come with so much baggage.

I see the baggage of everyone else on the planet as well. I guess this is why I on NOM, not the ExmoReddit.

[Newme]

We are both still in for the tribe, the community, family, and our girls. IDK what I would really do if I had complete freedom and no family or community consequences. I do appreciate all the good things about he doxy and praxy of Mormonism. I just wish it didn't come with so much baggage.

I see the baggage of everyone else on the planet as well. I guess this is why I on NOM, not the ExmoReddit.

I'm happy for you that gradually it seems you and your DW are coming to be more on the same page.
And I admire your patience and how you're being extra loving to her.

The tendency to go from one extreme or another (very TBM or very anti) seems to be common, but I also think both are dysfunctional.
I really believe that the approach to take the best and leave the rest is most healthy in every group - keeps us from going too extreme and from losing ourselves in group-thought.

[Enoch Witty]

This is such a great story. I would love to hear these types of comments from my wife.