We haven't talked about church at all in a few months, which is good although we have a lot of awkwardness since she focuses so much on church and I have been reading up about the church's history.
Three years ago we spent our big vacation visiting her in-laws in Europe because they were on a senior mission. Neither of us would've ever picked Poland, but the church picked that for us...
They got back and are already back in Europe for a second senior mission... and guess what? We're going again.
And right now we're in Arizona for a mission farewell... which is really difficult for me. As DW napped for two hours yesterday I got to hear from the other room for about 98% of the two hours church talks... they commented on people who fall away, they used the phrase "it's not important to my salvation" when discussing the bad stuff, and how much they felt the spirit at every turn.
Today DW threw out that they're all going to the temple tomorrow so I am on my own with our kid... which of course is awkward given my horrible experience in the temple combined with knowing it's just a masonic ceremony wrapped in polygamy. She gets upset that I am not *happy* that she goes, and I've explained I will always support her going but I will always have rough feelings about the temple given what it means for us.
I should not have come on this trip.
I'm just venting - I know you all deal with this too. It's been a while since I've really had church stuff just thrown at me from all directions. I am so so so glad I live away from everyone.
But once again our trips this summer are going to be church related, and yet I'm the one who is told I can't leave the church alone.

Every time I hold out some hope my wife is starting to open up I'm reminded of just how retrenched she has become, and that's just a really awful feeling. Again, I know others are dealing with it... I need to realize there's no hope and that she is OK with being someone else's polygamous wife for eternity.... because as she told me "If I was asked to do it by the prophet, that's the one way I'd do it." Just as Joseph designed it!