#Sex strike

[Red Ryder]

The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints announced today their support for The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in declaring opposition to the wave of Apostasy running rampant upon The Church!

“Our religious mind control rights are being erased.

Until Prophets, Seers, and Revelators have doctrinal control over your minds we just cannot risk further apostasy.

JOIN THE Q12 and THE FP by not having missionary position sex with your legally and lawful opposite sex traditional gendered spouse until we get their hearts, minds, and testimonies back.

We are calling for a #SexStrike. Pass it on.”

Responding to media requests, Church spokesman Elder Micheal McLean broke out in song loudly crooning “We’re Not Alone......Say it one more time, We’re not alone....Our sexless Mormon marriages are now Divine..... we haven’t had sex.... since 1929..... we’re not alone!”

[Corsair]

JOIN THE Q12 and THE FP by not having missionary position sex with your legally and lawful opposite sex traditional gendered spouse until we get their hearts, minds, and testimonies back.

Question: I am not having sex with any apostle at this time. Does this directive apply to me?

[Anon70]

JOIN THE Q12 and THE FP by not having missionary position sex with your legally and lawful opposite sex traditional gendered spouse until we get their hearts, minds, and testimonies back.

Curious if other positions are still ok?......asking for a friend.

[wtfluff]

[Thoughtful]

I promise no sex with active LDS.

Good thing Spouseman isnt active.

[2bizE]

Being Mormon, I’m not familiar with the different types and positions of sex. I have just ordered from amazon Kama Sutra for beginners.
I hope this will help me find the sex life I never new existed as I was only aware of the missionary position and the position cows use to mate. (Note: I’ve read the book “sexual position of cows” and that’s how I know of that one position.)

[moksha]

(Note: I’ve read the book “sexual position of cows” and that’s how I know of that one position.)

Is that from Mormon Doctrine where Elder Bruce R. McConkie writes, "Four feet good, two feet bad"?