Newest update on my brother

[glass shelf]

What an amazing update, Alas. I'm so happy for you. Medical professionals make their best predictions based on their evidence and experiences, but slim probabilities are still possible.

I so glad you all got to hear him talk! Does he have a Passy-Muir Valve? They're amazing.

[jfro18]

Wow - that's about as good as news and you'll wake up to!

That's great Alas - I hope the recovery continues and that he makes progress every day now that he's awake.

Congrats to your family - no news is going to top that this weekend

[MoPag]

How wonderful!!

[Fifi de la Vergne]

So wonderful to hear this!

[Random]

That is so awesome, Alas! We rejoice with you. <3

[MerrieMiss]

Such wonderful news!

[wtfluff]

[alas]

Well, the latest update is not as good as the last one was.


He never got so he had any motor control. He couldn’t even open his eyes by himself, but someone would pry his eyes open so he could see who was visiting. I just hated them opening up his eyes like that. I hated seeing him so helpless. The doctors put in a voice thing so that he could talk with the tracheotomy. He could barely be understood, but he could say the names of whoever was there and tell people he loved them. There were still times he was completely unresponsive, so he was in and out of the coma. And never could control his breathing well enough for the tracheotomy to come out. He was in a lot of pain, and there were complications that had him in and out of surgery. And the stupid nursing home that ignores instructions not to put whey based formula in his feeding tube, that had him throwing up over and over, tearing out the stitches around the feeding tube. It was a nightmare.

But then a week ago, he started doing worse. He just was not responding as well and one morning his wife opened up his eye, and when he didn’t respond like he could see her, she tried his other eye and the pupils were different sizes. She mentioned it to the doctors and they ran some tests. His brain was swelling and pockets of water were forming at the injury sites. The doctor said he needed more surgery, to relive the pressure. After more tests to pin point the location of the water pockets, they said there were just too many pockets in too many locations. So, no way he could survive that much surgery. They put him on hospice and took out the feeding tube.

He died a few days ago.



......I sure hate Mormon funerals. I gotta go buy a dress because I can’t wear the same one I wore to both my parent’s funerals and my in law’s funerals. That old dress shows up in too many photos already and is even in some of the photos of family that will be displayed at the funeral. But one tradition I like, the fact that they ask men to say the prayers. So, I get to sit in the audience.

If my children give me a Mormon funeral, I will come back and haunt them.

[jfro18]

I'm so sorry alas - that's horrible news especially given the optimistic updates.

You've been such a great help to me and others here and I wish I had as good of words to give you as you do for us, but we're all thinking of you and sending every last bit of positive vibes your way.

If you ever need anything, just pm me anytime!

[MoPag]

(((hugs)))

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Just wear dress pants. The sister missionaries do it.

[græy]

alas, I am so sorry!

As jfro said, I feel like you've given so much to this community, I wish there was something I could actually do to give back to you.

For what it's worth, we're with you as much as we can be!

[Wonderment]

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. Sending deepest condolences, hugs, and thoughts to you at this very sad time. - Wndr.

[wtfluff]

Condolences and hugs alas.

[Red Ryder]

Internet Hugs!!

Can we pitch in and buy you a dress?

[glass shelf]

I'm sorry for your loss, Alas.

[Linked]

I'm so sorry to hear it. Hang in there with the mormon funeral, we are all cheering for you.

[Fifi de la Vergne]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Random]

That's so sad, alas. My condolences. ((hugs))

[2bizE]

So sorry Alas.
Sending you an electronic hug and a batch of cookies with milk. May you find comfort in the good life your brother has lived.

[alas]

Thank you everyone. It really does help. I have been thinking, and he is better off now than trapped in a body he can’t control that is just full of pain.

He did have a good life, in spite of the first catastrophic brain injury. He has four step children that love him, two biological children, 30 odd foster children, and four of those foster children are adopted. Of course that many children come with challenges, especially the fosters and adopted who came from abusive situations, but he loved them and they love him.

I couldn’t find a dress that I could stand. Everything showed too much skin for a funeral. My DH kept saying “pants suit”. And “why buy a dress you will only wear to funerals, so it is out of style by the next funeral anyway?” He won. My very TBM SIL will be horrified.