Recent Three Nephites sightings?

[Hagoth]

This thread is inspired by Moksha's comment in another thread about the Three Nephites impersonating Elvis.

I'm in my early 60s. When I was a kid we used to hear about the Three Nephites all the time. There were endless stories of missionaries finding remote villages that had already been converted by three strangers, or someone showing up in Panguich with this morning's London Times containing the very obituary that someone needed to finish their 4 generations, or delivering Mom's still-hot apple pie to her starving missionary in Bavaria...

Are the Three Nephites still a going concern in eventhechurchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaintsism, or are they taking a break (presumably because their efforts have been thwarted by the combined wickedness of homosexuality-tolerance, one-payer insurance plans, body piercings, and pornography?

ETA: and what about John the Beloved? Is he still active? Does he coordinate his efforts with the Three? Is there a special dormitory in the Joseph Smith Building for them when they're in town?

[Just This Guy]

While my info is close to 2 decades old now, on my mission, there was no real talk about the 3 Nephites. There was the occasional joke about it because it is such a trope of missionaries, but nothing that anyone ever took seriously. There was more apocryphal stores about elders and sisters skinny dipping in a baptismal font. Those were somewhat taken seriously.

[Hagoth]

There was more apocryphal stores about elders and sisters skinny dipping in a baptismal font. Those were somewhat taken seriously.

Ok, I know I started this thread but you have inspired me to take it off the rails. The two most common apocryphal stories in my mission were:

1- Some missionaries took their dirty clothes to a laundry. When they came to pick them up they found their garments on display in the window with a sign that read "Mormon monkey suits," and spray-painted circles around the marks. They did the obvious thing: shook the dust off their feet. That night the laundry burned to the ground. For consistency let's assume the Three Nephites struck the match.

2- A pair of missionaries ordained a can of beer (or in some tellings a stop sign). They both died shortly thereafter. Again, let's just assume the Three Nephites whacked them.

[larecherche]

Same here. I served a mission a decade or so ago.

I have never heard any serious 3 Nephites stories in my life, but I have heard lots of 3 Nephites jokes. I don't think that people really take that seriously anymore.

[Hagoth]

Same here. I served a mission a decade or so ago.

I have never heard any serious 3 Nephites stories in my life, but I have heard lots of 3 Nephites jokes. I don't think that people really take that seriously anymore.

I wonder what would happen if Pres. Nelson pulled one of those old stories out and dusted it off, or if he told the membership that if they were righteous enough they would start experiencing those kinds of things again.

[RubinHighlander]

Yup, this one was told 83-85 in the Manchester England mish:

1- Some missionaries took their dirty clothes to a laundry. When they came to pick them up they found their garments on display in the window with a sign that read "Mormon monkey suits," and spray-painted circles around the marks. They did the obvious thing: shook the dust off their feet. That night the laundry burned to the ground. For consistency let's assume the Three Nephites struck the match.

Also these:
- A missionary who flipped an annoying cat in the nose too hard during a first discussion and killed it, then shoved it under the couch.
- 2-3 variations on some stories about casting out evil spirits from investigators homes. I'm sure these were spins off the Heber C Kimball/Orson Hyde evil spirits stories, since the house where it happened is in Preston in our mission. We had a whole mission conference about Heber and his adventures in England. Don't know if you've ever read it, but it would put the fear of Satan into ya as a TBM: https://ldsmag.com/a-satanic-attack-on- ... n-england/ I think it was probably just a bad batch of blood pudding they had eaten for lunch, maybe the reason missionaries were not allowed to eat that stuff.
- Missionary who was kidnapped by some investigator girl by hired thugs, strapped to a bed naked and was forced to have sex with her. We all fantasized about that one. Can't rape the willing bro!
- 4 missionaries who rented a car, drove down to London and went to Wimbledon to see the tennis tournaments; somebodies mom saw them on TV in the crowd. I actually think this one was true...maybe not the mom seeing them on TV part.

I'm sure there were several others, but I'm not digging through my journals to find them, too much sappy TBM BS in there to stomach.

[Hagoth]

- A missionary who flipped an annoying cat in the nose too hard during a first discussion and killed it, then shoved it under the couch.

Ha! I know a guy who says this was a missionary in his zone.

- Missionary who was kidnapped by some investigator girl by hired thugs, strapped to a bed naked and was forced to have sex with her. We all fantasized about that one. Can't rape the willing bro!

Double ha! This is a true story. Except it wasn't an investigator it was Miss Wyoming!
Here's the trailer for the documentary (I think it's on Netflix) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWeQce0cZsE

[Just This Guy]

1- Some missionaries took their dirty clothes to a laundry. When they came to pick them up they found their garments on display in the window with a sign that read "Mormon monkey suits," and spray-painted circles around the marks. They did the obvious thing: shook the dust off their feet. That night the laundry burned to the ground. For consistency let's assume the Three Nephites struck the match.

We had a variation of that one. In our case it supposedly happened in the LA mission sometime before the Long Beach Mission was created in the late 90's. The Elders forgot their garments and found them on display when they went back for them. They contacted to MP who tried to talk the Laundromat owner down. When the owner refused, the MP went though some soft of dusting feet ceremony and the place burnt down that night. Since the owner lived above the shop, the owner and family were killed in the fire.

- 4 missionaries who rented a car, drove down to London and went to Wimbledon to see the tennis tournaments

In our mission, the story was that some missionaries disconnected the odometer in a mission car and drove to St. George.*

Some of these mission stories are fairly universal. It would be interesting to examine the folklore of these. Was there an actual event sometime ago that got blown out of proportion over the many tellings and decades? Or was it something completely made up.


*Why St. George, or Wimbledon? You would think that if you were going to go to that degree of trouble, you would go somewhere more memorable and less pedestrian.

[wtfluff]

Maybe correlation has forced the 3 Nephites to go into hiding.

MORmONism has become so boring, that even giant muscle-bound dudes wearing fake Roman armor showing up randomly can't even save it.

I know that there is at least one other some-time NOM poster along with myself who thinks that they've been cavorting as musicians for the last 40 or 50 years. Sadly, to keep up appearances, it seems that they're pretty much retired from the music business now...

[Hagoth]

David A. Bednar: "Do you have the faith to NOT see the Three Nephites?"

I think Henry Eyring has an inspirational story about that day he could have bumped into the Three Nephites but didn't, but still a miracle nonetheless.

[1smartdodog]

I know I have on occasion acted on behalf of the three from time to time. Just recently pulled someone out of a ditch. Maybe saved their life. It was middle of winter with no cell coverage on a remote highway. To them I was one of the 3 Nephites.

[oliblish]

There was a story on my mission where an Elder went to a clinic where a female doctor or nurse needed to do some sort of examination which required the elder to drop his trousers. Well, he got a little excited and the nurse used a tap with a cold spoon to get things to settle down.

After that, every time that missionary transferred, he would open the freezer to find a spoon in there...

Maybe it was one of the three nephites who would deliver the spoons...

[Red Ryder]

There was a story on my mission where an Elder went to a clinic where a female doctor or nurse needed to do some sort of examination which required the elder to drop his trousers. Well, he got a little excited and the nurse used a tap with a cold spoon to get things to settle down.

After that, every time that missionary transferred, he would open the freezer to find a spoon in there...

Maybe it was one of the three nephites who would deliver the spoons...

I heard a similar story about an Elder who went to the MTC before he had his endowment. He was sent to the Provo temple to get his endowment. While standing in his poncho getting his washing & anointing he got a little excited and the officiator used a mallet and tapped 3 times to get things to settle down while loudly whispering "That is not wanted!"

[misterfake371]

I haven't heard about any 3 Nephite sightings in years. Not in testimony meetings, not in church classes, not even in church hallway whispers. The last time I remember hearing about the 3 Nephites was from other missionaries on my mission in 2002 - 2004. It's kind of sad to see them go. Church might be more entertaining if there were more 3 Nephite stories.

[moksha]

In the 1940s, the Three Nephites made a number of Hollywood films under the stage names of Larry, Moe, and Curly.

[2bizE]

I think superstition is fading. Perhaps this is why the church is fading as well. People seriously believed in the supernatural in previous generations, but the internet and media are helping the mystic fade.

[Rob4Hope]

--Tangent

I want something VERY MUCH,...as it will blow holes in some things of personal interest.

You all know I have been a NDE nut, reading at least a dozen books on the subject, and even doing some interviews myself with NDE folks. Well,...there is a book out there where LDS NDE survivors have explained that Joseph and Hyrum both have been resurrected. They were so 'advanced' that it was necessary, in order for them to further their exaltation, to take up their bodies.

GAWD would I like to see the graves exhumed and just have a look see if them their bones is still laying there...ya know?

I would also do some research and see if any LDS authorities have commented on the resurrection, and how it affects J and H. For me, that would be interesting.

PS. for the record,...I think the resurrection idea is a total mind f*ck--woven into theology as a way to control reward/punishment ideals that are about controlling people.

[Rob4Hope]

I think superstition is fading. Perhaps this is why the church is fading as well. People seriously believed in the supernatural in previous generations, but the internet and media are helping the mystic fade.

100% agree.

If you ask the typical American citizen about the government, I think they would generally say there is a MASSIVE credibility problem. People are still gullible,...but with a question framed that way, I think you would find they would admit the US government has credibility problems.

That to me is an indication of a general swing--people tend to be less believing when 'authority figures' tell them something.

In a parallel way, and perhaps even more, if you ask LDS people (those who would identify as such or could at one time), you will probably find extremes: they either believe to a high degree, or they would admit a VERY large credibility problem. With the US government question, you would probably find more of a middle ground--people who say their is a credibility problem, but would generally still say they believe some things; with the LDS population, I think you end up with less middle-ground; you have people who believe or disbelieve, but not as much in the middle.

[crossmyheart]

Maybe correlation has forced the 3 Nephites to go into hiding.

MORmONism has become so boring, that even giant muscle-bound dudes wearing fake Roman armor showing up randomly can't even save it.

I know that there is at least one other some-time NOM poster along with myself who thinks that they've been cavorting as musicians for the last 40 or 50 years. Sadly, to keep up appearances, it seems that they're pretty much retired from the music business now...

My DH would wholeheartedly agree with you that they are, in fact, the three nephites! So sad we missed their final tour!