General Konference Predictions

[A New Name]

Breaking news, very hot drinks cause cancer

[wtfluff]

An old rumor about changing the length of missions for boys to 18 months is starting to look like it could become a reality this conference. This is all second hand information but someone who works in the mission office said that all the new calls currently going out say something about the length of service will be announced at conference. There has been a rumor going around about changing the boys time from 2 years to 18 months, same as the girls. This would make sense as they are making the boys and girls mission requirements equal. As a father of a currently serving missionary, I'm all for it. Hopefully those currently serving would get a choice to come home at 18 months.

This is weird only because I've had two nephews get mission calls in the last 1-3 weeks (one last week, one about three weeks ago) and both were normal with normal lengths.

Maybe just to specific areas?

There have ben two calls in my ward. One sister, one elder, and they are both the normal lengths.

To quote what has been going on over on some "other" evil message board: With all of the rumors flying around about kids getting letters 'calling' them to indentured servitude saying "wait until conference"... How come none of these people have cell phones and have not snapped even one photo of the text in the letter?

[jfro18]

Breaking news, very hot drinks cause cancer

LOL... anyone drinking tea/coffee at temps above 160 degrees are going to have a lot of issues.

I am not a coffee/hot tea drinker, but a quick Google search (and the article itself) says most people drink tea/coffee cooler - about 140 degrees.

I know you weren't posting this as church proof and I'm not making fun of you, but for anyone who argues this is proof the WoW is legit (and there will be some), they'll need to add to the WoW that people should never eat their dinner directly out of a heated frying pan.

[2bizE]

... No alcohol, ...

you lost me, I'm out

As a heart surgeon, you would think Nelson would at least agree on some Red wine being ok.

[moksha]

Steaming hot tea and esophageal cancer? That could very well make it into a conference talk proving it is all so true.

[wtfluff]

Breaking news, very hot drinks cause cancer

LOL... anyone drinking tea/coffee at temps above 160 degrees are going to have a lot of issues.

Directly from the article:

and it is therefore advisable to wait until hot beverages cool down before drinking

Don't drink stuff that burns you.

Once again, I'm glad Elohim was around back in the 1800's to let us know. Humans are just too stupid to figure these things out themselves.

[jfro18]

Directly from the article:

and it is therefore advisable to wait until hot beverages cool down before drinking

Don't drink stuff that burns you.

Once again, I'm glad Elohim was around back in the 1800's to let us know. Humans are just too stupid to figure these things out themselves.

I'm just glad that Elohim was able to warn us about drinking coffee that was too hot, but didn't bother to tell us that boiling water would save lives... and the church lost people for that VERY reason after the WoW was given.

[Evil_Bert]

There have ben two calls in my ward. One sister, one elder, and they are both the normal lengths.

There were a couple of people in my area that put in their papers 6-8 weeks ago that are still waiting for their call. Others in the area put their papers in after the others and have received their calls (all normal length). I guess that the Mission Randomizer App hung up and had to be rebooted to get those waiting their call.

[2bizE]

Breaking news, very hot drinks cause cancer

LOL... anyone drinking tea/coffee at temps above 160 degrees are going to have a lot of issues.

Directly from the article:

and it is therefore advisable to wait until hot beverages cool down before drinking

Don't drink stuff that burns you.

Once again, I'm glad Elohim was around back in the 1800's to let us know. Humans are just too stupid to figure these things out themselves.

This study is the perfect segue for Nelson to change the WoW. He just has to mention this study and then say that the current WoW is correct when it mentions hot drinks, and not to drink them if they are so damn hot they will burn your throat. The WoW is not specific for coffee and tea, it really is just about hot drinks. So, you can drink coffee and tea, just if it is not so hot it can burn your throat.

[Hagoth]

The WoW is not specific for coffee and tea, it really is just about hot drinks. So, you can drink coffee and tea, just if it is not so hot it can burn your throat.

Or he could descend into Widtsoeland and put cocoa and soup back on the no-no list.

[wtfluff]

Directly from the article:

and it is therefore advisable to wait until hot beverages cool down before drinking

Don't drink stuff that burns you.

Once again, I'm glad Elohim was around back in the 1800's to let us know. Humans are just too stupid to figure these things out themselves.

This study is the perfect segue for Nelson to change the WoW. He just has to mention this study and then say that the current WoW is correct when it mentions hot drinks, and not to drink them if they are so damn hot they will burn your throat. The WoW is not specific for coffee and tea, it really is just about hot drinks. So, you can drink coffee and tea, just if it is not so hot it can burn your throat.

New TR question: When was the last time you drank a liquid which burned your esophagus?

[oliblish]

Directly from the article:


Don't drink stuff that burns you.

Once again, I'm glad Elohim was around back in the 1800's to let us know. Humans are just too stupid to figure these things out themselves.

This study is the perfect segue for Nelson to change the WoW. He just has to mention this study and then say that the current WoW is correct when it mentions hot drinks, and not to drink them if they are so damn hot they will burn your throat. The WoW is not specific for coffee and tea, it really is just about hot drinks. So, you can drink coffee and tea, just if it is not so hot it can burn your throat.

New TR question: When was the last time you drank a liquid which burned your esophagus?

It is much more likely that I will burn the inside of my mouth or my tongue with hot pizza. Maybe they should add pizza to the list of controlled substances that keep you out of the temple.

[nibbler]

This is weird only because I've had two nephews get mission calls in the last 1-3 weeks (one last week, one about three weeks ago) and both were normal with normal lengths.

Maybe just to specific areas?

There have ben two calls in my ward. One sister, one elder, and they are both the normal lengths.

To quote what has been going on over on some "other" evil message board: With all of the rumors flying around about kids getting letters 'calling' them to indentured servitude saying "wait until conference"... How come none of these people have cell phones and have not snapped even one photo of the text in the letter?

I heard a similar rumor a year or so ago about kids getting letters that didn't specify the location and that the location would be announced during general conference. The wild speculation was that a mission in China was opening. Of course nothing came of the rumors.

This time it's the same type of rumor but the letters state that the mission length will be announced during conference. More hype to get people to watch conference so they can be the first to hear a miracle announcement.

It wouldn't surprise me at all if they announced 18 month missions for both men and women but the church wouldn't send out calls with a tease to "wait until conference." Kids would get a regular old letter that stated two years and in conference they'd make an announcement and the announcement would supersede whatever the letter said.

[jfro18]

I would've sworn the mission length was a rumor last October and people were claiming their calls were on hold until conference and then nothing happened.

But as has been stated a bunch of times - if this was really happening we'd have screenshots of the calls floating around and yet there are none.

I'd be surprised if they dropped the length for men to 18 months, but maybe they'll do something like make it an option... that way they don't have to feel like they've completely caved to a generation that just isn't sticking around for the church's BS like the ones before it.

[Palerider]

My GC prediction is that they are going to rename the BOM. It will be called "Another testament of Jesus Christ." And we are always going to have to refer to it like that from now on.

And they are going to encourage us all to buy new scriptures. Here's the twist though, the new scriptures are going to have all the controversial "dark skin" stuff taken out. And maybe some new hetero-normative family positive Easter egg verses sprinkled in.

Unfortunately the title page of the BofM which was supposedly the last plate translated by Joseph, calls it "The Book of Mormon" . So being "scripture" I think they're stuck with the Book of Mormon name.

[JustHangingOn@57]

Days after the last conference, tears were shed and testimonies were born at our family party (on wife's side) as they reverently recounted the prodigious amount of revelation coming forth in these (obvious) later days. FIL observed that through RMN the lord was "..busy organizing HIS church". The thought of having to sit through another one of these post-conference family cringe festivals (in less than a month!) frankly makes me ill.

[2bizE]

Days after the last conference, tears were shed and testimonies were born at our family party (on wife's side) as they reverently recounted the prodigious amount of revelation coming forth in these (obvious) later days. FIL observed that through RMN the lord was "..busy organizing HIS church". The thought of having to sit through another one of these post-conference family cringe festivals (in less than a month!) frankly makes me ill.

I feel for you. A conference about conference after conference would be painful.

[moksha]

And maybe some new hetero-normative family positive Easter egg verses sprinkled in.

The commemorative cake will be topped with replicas of Russell, Wendy, and Sheri, not Joseph, Brigham, and Steve. Hetero-normative family positive done the Mormon way!

[nibbler]

A conference about conference after conference would be painful.

In my area we call that phenomenon sacrament meeting and priesthood meeting.

[Raylan Givens]

I hope the most exciting thing in conference is announcing the youth programs and that's it. Overall, super boring, so the constant excitement my sister posts about will die down.