I love my wife

[hiding in plain sight]

It has been about 10 years since I woke up to the church's truth issues.

In that time my TBM wife and I have had an interesting walk together. The first couple of years were ones of just enduring the change. Then there was the great awakening on my part that I was a jerk and needed to lean in more and love my wife more and support her more in what she needed and stop pushing for my own needs of acknowledgement.

Fast forward to yesterday.

My very TBM sister is in town visiting us and we got talking about our kids. Three of whom are now out of the church. My oldest daughter just did a major announcement through social media in the past couple of months so this is new news to the family.

I was just overjoyed during this conversation as my TBM wife talked about how brave my daughter is in choosing her husband over the church. And also how she believes that everyone is going to be saved no matter what path they take. My eyes opened even wider when she started telling my sister about how crazy it is to think that God would only work through a fraction of a fraction of a percent of all humanity that had ever lived and believed in mormonism and everyone else would be kicked to the curb.

My wife is currently the RSP and loves her church experience. But she has clearly become a super NOM in her world view. I don't think there are many of the church's truth claims that she would stand up and defend short of believing in God and inspiration and the need for all of us to love and support each other.

It is amazing what can happen in 10 years.

Yes. This is along time. But I couldn't be happier with where we are as a couple.

[græy]

Congratulations man! Its good to see examples of mixed-faith marriages working well.

I feel like my TBM DW is still reeling from a conversation we had weeks ago with other TBM friends where one of them mentioned they couldn't think of a single mixed-faith marriage that hadn't ended in divorce. I immediately named several, but the comment still stuck and did some damage.

I'm happy for you!

[Palerider]

Congratulations man! Its good to see examples of mixed-faith marriages working well.

I feel like my TBM DW is still reeling from a conversation we had weeks ago with other TBM friends where one of them mentioned they couldn't think of a single mixed-faith marriage that hadn't ended in divorce. I immediately named several, but the comment still stuck and did some damage.

I'm happy for you!

Yeah, people who can't think of mixed faith marriages that are working aren't thinking very hard and that fact probably runs through all of their thinking as well.

[alas]

Congratulations man! Its good to see examples of mixed-faith marriages working well.

I feel like my TBM DW is still reeling from a conversation we had weeks ago with other TBM friends where one of them mentioned they couldn't think of a single mixed-faith marriage that hadn't ended in divorce. I immediately named several, but the comment still stuck and did some damage.

I'm happy for you!

Yeah, people who can't think of mixed faith marriages that are working aren't thinking very hard and that fact probably runs through all of their thinking as well.

The church teaches that mixed faith marriages end in divorce. In spite of the evidence that the divorce rate has historically only been just a percentage or so above the divorce rate for temple marriages, while the pressure to stay in a temple marriage is SO huge, that escaping them is like escaping Askaban. I remember the lesson we had in YW 50 years ago, where the teacher stood in front of us and proudly declared that temple marriage was the ONLY way to have a good marriage. Parents who didn’t marry in the temple did not love their children, and all temple marriages were happy, while all non temple marriages were loving and miserable. Um, well, the two girls with non member fathers were in tears because they had just been told their fathers didn’t love them. The one girl from a broken temple marriage was furious, and me who thought my temple married parents should divorce was furious. While four of the girls understood the lie and glared at the teacher and the other five girls were trying to comfort the two girls with non member fathers, one who was openly sobbing. We all could see the lies because we saw reality, but the teacher was oblivious to what she had said that could possibly cause us to be so upset. But 30 years later, my daughters come home upset from the same gawd awful lesson, then just recently my niece who had just been temple married and hated the endowment, was blowing off steam about the promises of temple marriage and how she knew it was a lie when she had a lesson in YW about how anything but a temple marriage was doomed to failure, especially mixed faith marriages. They are still teaching that mixed faith marriages always end in divorce.

Now, in the Mormon church, those women in mixed faith marriages are second class of the second class. I don’t know if being a second class woman multiplies the second class status, merely adds it, or cubes it. I suspect it cubes it making women married to non members 8th class, but at a minimum it is 4th class. In a caste system like India, they are the untouchables. I have known several and they sit silently, alone in church meetings, drawing as little attention to themselves as possible, hoping no one notices their low status as a woman married to a (gasp) unbeliever.

So, no wonder these friends do not know anyone in a mixed faith marriage. Those women are invisible and try to stay invisible.

On another sad note, see what you have done to your wife, dropped her from second class, to eighth.

[hiding in plain sight]

Now, in the Mormon church, those women in mixed faith marriages are second class of the second class. I don’t know if being a second class woman multiplies the second class status, merely adds it, or cubes it. I suspect it cubes it making women married to non members 8th class, but at a minimum it is 4th class. In a caste system like India, they are the untouchables. I have known several and they sit silently, alone in church meetings, drawing as little attention to themselves as possible, hoping no one notices their low status as a woman married to a (gasp) unbeliever.

So, no wonder these friends do not know anyone in a mixed faith marriage. Those women are invisible and try to stay invisible.

On another sad note, see what you have done to your wife, dropped her from second class, to eighth.

As for my marriage, my wife is the current RSP. But we do live in a very liberal part of the country and the church reflects that.

[Hagoth]

I think I love your wife too, HIPS!

[moksha]

On another sad note, see what you have done to your wife, dropped her from second class, to eighth.

Even the bread and water have become stale by the time it is passed to her. If she is in the lobby, the speakers play 2nd hand sounds. Probably has to park at the rear of the parking lot behind the old Fords.

[hiding in plain sight]

I think I love your wife too, HIPS!

I didn't know you were into polyandry.

[2bizE]

Tender mercies.