Mysterious encounters with EQ

[Hagoth]

I went to Sacrament Meeting with Mrs. Hagoth this week. I was approached by the Elders Quorum secretary who said, "The Elders Quorum presidency would like to have an interview with you today. Is 1:15 or 1:30 a better time for you?" I responded as I always do, "Thanks, but I don't do priesthood interviews anymore," and added "You can report to the presidency that I have done my ministering every month." Confusion and dismay.

The next day I got a call from an officer in the EQ (not sure his exact calling) who said the EQ presidency would like to meet with me in my home. I agreed because I really like the guy who called. I was getting mentally prepared for the challenge I assumed was coming but we ended up just having a very nice small-talk conversation. They didn't even invite me to attend priesthood meeting.

I'm wondering what the purpose of this meeting was. I'm guessing that it was probably just the checking off a requirement to meet with every member of the quorum, but the fact that it came immediately on the heels of my refusal to meet with them makes me suspect that it was an intelligence gathering mission, sort of a litmus test to assess the darkness of my countenance.

Should I expect another visit request soon, once they have returned and reported?

[dogbite]

Twice a year in my inactive experience they will try to meet with you. I turn it down. They no longer have accurate contact information for me by email or phone. And yet they never seem to use the knowledge they have to talk with me directly. It's always through my active wife.

To me it's clear this is checking off of assigned duties. Nothing more.

The last time they asked, their response to my denial was that they think the world of me etc. Except the guy doing the speaking, I have probably exchanged 200 words with in 25 years of living here. He knows nothing of me personally. It was empty polite puffery.

[Red Ryder]

Welcome to Ministering!

Visit but don't preach!

[slavereeno]

And yet they never seem to use the knowledge they have to talk with me directly. It's always through my active wife.

Annnnnd, there it is, one of the roughest parts of mixed faith, this is a pet peeve of DW when anybody tries to go through her to get to me. I am attempting to start a slow fade. But if they cant reach me, I fear the church will go to my wife, which will be embarrassing for her.

In fact as SES, I used this tactic myself, if hubby or son won't respond, try contacting the spouse or mother and you will get results. I knew that could be causing tension, but was asked specifically by the SP to do it.

[dogbite]

One of the founding peeves of our relationship (in a good way) was that we would never commit the other without prior approval. My mom used to farm me out to all sorts of tasks without asking me. That would not be my adult life. And it is not. I've told her to tell them to talk to me directly but they never do. And I havent made it easy for them either.

[alas]

One of the founding peeves of our relationship (in a good way) was that we would never commit the other without prior approval. My mom used to farm me out to all sorts of tasks without asking me. That would not be my adult life. And it is not. I've told her to tell them to talk to me directly but they never do. And I havent made it easy for them either.

This is what my DH does. And it is kind of funny, because when they ask him the best way to deal with me, he tells them to leave me alone, that love bombing will backfire. So, it goes something like, “hey, brother alas, why won’t your wife come to church?” Him “you will have to talk to her about that.” Them, “well, what can we do do help?” Him “leave her alone.”

YES! So, they completely leave me alone.

[Hagoth]

So, it goes something like, “hey, brother alas, why won’t your wife come to church?” Him “you will have to talk to her about that.” Them, “well, what can we do do help?” Him “leave her alone.”

I love this.

Mrs. Hagoth has a similar attitude: he's a big boy, why are you trying to sneak up on him though me?

[Mormorrisey]

One of the founding peeves of our relationship (in a good way) was that we would never commit the other without prior approval. My mom used to farm me out to all sorts of tasks without asking me. That would not be my adult life. And it is not. I've told her to tell them to talk to me directly but they never do. And I havent made it easy for them either.

This is what my DH does. And it is kind of funny, because when they ask him the best way to deal with me, he tells them to leave me alone, that love bombing will backfire. So, it goes something like, “hey, brother alas, why won’t your wife come to church?” Him “you will have to talk to her about that.” Them, “well, what can we do do help?” Him “leave her alone.”

YES! So, they completely leave me alone.

Nothing like some interference. Sis M does this too, but more out of shame than worrying about my feelings. But the result is the same as yours and that is what I want anyways. It's fascinating to me that even though I'm on the dry council, NOBODY will ask me questions about church history, why I hate the fact that the church owns a mall, LBGTQ issues, etc. That elephant is bigger than the room, and nobody will see it.

[Culper Jr.]

It's fascinating to me that even though I'm on the dry council, NOBODY will ask me questions about church history, why I hate the fact that the church owns a mall, LBGTQ issues, etc. That elephant is bigger than the room, and nobody will see it.

My experience too. I'm the executive secretary in the ward, and I am pretty open about my lack of belief. NOBODY will go there. I feel like I could have a pleasant and respectful discussion about church issues. I've told my bishop that I basically attend due to issues with DW, that I won't teach or testify of anything but that I'm happy to make his appointments and whatnot, and that I have no desire to spoil anyone's church experience but that if someone brings up church issues or comes at me, I'll be more than happy to discuss anything and everything.

I have several fellow apostates in the ward, and I give them a heads up when leadership wants to reach out to them. It's pretty interesting to see both sides of the picture. For our last ward conference I had to arrange the visits the bishopric does to "struggling" members with the stake presidency. I arranged the visit with one family, and I was later talking with the husband who's pretty much out and he asked me what's up with the visit. "Ward conference dog and pony show for the SP to show them how much we love and reach out to struggling members." He starts laughing, "Gotcha." Later after the visit my friend was like, "Yeah, made small talk, they were pleasant" with an eye roll. Later in a meeting with the stake they were reporting on the visit and were all, " Yeah, we left and spiritual message and we could really feel the spirit, they really responded to the visit, blah blah." The SP said, "Brethren, this is what ministering is about," with an approving smile. No further mention of the family or plans to follow up have been made in the months since.

[wtfluff]

My experience too. I'm the executive secretary in the ward, and I am pretty open about my lack of belief. ... <SNIP>

The world needs more executive secretaries like Culper Jr.!