NOM 1st ward assignments

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

Moksha you are hereby assigned to come and shovel my driveway this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement.

MoPag you are hereby assigned to do my dishes this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement.

Wtfluff you are hereby assigned to wash my car this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement.

Linked you are hereby assigned to vacuum my house this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement.

Red Ryder you are hereby assigned clean out my basement this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement.

Hagoth you are hereby assigned to dispose of my trash this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement.



Seriously! Who thinks this is going to work? Why do they think it is going to work at the local burlap building? Because people actually do it. If you do it because you want to...great. If you do it out of some sense of obligation, requirement, or social pressure (the vast majority probably) then that is something else.

-lost

[MoPag]

Dishes!!

Pam1.png (15.88 KiB) Viewed 10836 times

Of course I'll do your dishes! But in order for me to show up, you are going to have to pray and read your scriptures. And if I don't show up, it's your fault not mine.

[Stig]

You forgot the most important part - each of those people must pay you 10% of their income in order to have the privilege of performing said assignment.

[wtfluff]

...
Wtfluff you are hereby assigned to wash my car this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement.
...
Seriously! Who thinks this is going to work? Why do they think it is going to work at the local burlap building? Because people actually do it. If you do it because you want to...great. If you do it out of some sense of obligation, requirement, or social pressure (the vast majority probably) then that is something else.

-lost

The thing is... I don't mind doing things like you listed lost. Things that benefit real, live human beings? I enjoy doing those types of things.

Cleaning buildings, and other "service" that benefits a giant real-estate corporation more than real, live beings? Yeah, that doesn't get me so excited.

I guess there's also the issue of "need." Human beings need help with the type of things on this list sometimes. There are lots of other human beings who are more than willing to help someone with such things. A giant real-estate corporation doesn't need volunteers to clean their buildings.


Anyway... That was a rather random stream of consciousness. I'd rather shovel the driveway; Wanna trade Dear Penguin?

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

You forgot the most important part - each of those people must pay you 10% of their income in order to have the privilege of performing said assignment.

I'm running a discount only 5% of your income. That's why we are a truthier church than that other one...

-lost

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

Dishes!!

Pam1.png


Of course I'll do your dishes! But in order for me to show up, you are going to have to pray and read your scriptures. And if I don't show up, it's your fault not mine.

Damn! I mean...uh...darn...I mean awww shucks. I'll trade you two Uchdorf talk readings in exchange for reading from Chloroform in Print (hat tip to Mark Twain).

-lost

[MoPag]

Dishes!!

Pam1.png


Of course I'll do your dishes! But in order for me to show up, you are going to have to pray and read your scriptures. And if I don't show up, it's your fault not mine.

Damn! I mean...uh...darn...I mean awww shucks. I'll trade you two Uchdorf talk readings in exchange for reading from Chloroform in Print (hat tip to Mark Twain).

-lost

Deal!

But now your going to have to figure out which God or Goddess I want you to pray to.

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

...the noodly appendage?

[Linked]

Hahaha, this is too good. After the discussions on hear recently about church cleaning I thought it was appropriate to see a sign up sheet for cleaning the church passed around in SS. I guess my ward hasn't gotten on the "commanded cleaners" bandwagon yet. We signed up cause the kids like it.


Can I use this vacuum?

[Red Ryder]

What am I supposed to do with all of your porno's you've got hidden down in this basement?

And what's with the 400 lbs of wheat?

[Brent]

I volunteer for "Ward Whisky Disposal Specialist".

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

What am I supposed to do with all of your porno's you've got hidden down in this basement?

And what's with the 400 lbs of wheat?

Those are educational films...I just finished watching The Sordid Barn Affair and then I'm thinking about Several Months Shy of 15 next. The wheat is for when we all have to walk to Missouri. You'll be glad we have it. Remember when we were all moving to Missouri cause Jeebus was comin dontcha know?

[Raylan Givens]

After your done, make an invoice for your time and at tithing settlement staple it to your yearly statement. Just say, "it all adds up."

[crossmyheart]

You forgot the most important part - each of those people must pay you 10% of their income in order to have the privilege of performing said assignment.

only 10%???
Sign me up!

We were all suckers at one point. It hurts to think about it.

[2bizE]

I’m leaving this ward. I’m so under appreciated.
I didn’t get an assignment (that I wouldn’t have completed anyway).

[Kishkumen]

I volunteer for "Ward Whisky Disposal Specialist".

I will pay 10% of my beer to whomever comes to clean out my garage.

[Just This Guy]

I volunteer for "Ward Whisky Disposal Specialist".

I will pay 10% of my beer to whomever comes to clean out my garage.

I know how it goes. You'll drink it all the night before, so when I come over, it's 10% of nothing.

[dogbite]

I'm so inactive I didn't get called. Hooray! It's working.

[oliblish]

I volunteer for "Ward Whisky Disposal Specialist".

I will pay 10% of my beer to whomever comes to clean out my garage.

I think you have this reversed. Whoever comes to clean needs to pay YOU 10%.

[Kishkumen]

I volunteer for "Ward Whisky Disposal Specialist".

I will pay 10% of my beer to whomever comes to clean out my garage.

I think you have this reversed. Whoever comes to clean needs to pay YOU 10%.

I'm not a corporation masquerading a 'church'. Any reason to share a cold one is a good one.