Do you hate holidays? (Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving)

[Lithium Sunset]

Do you hate holidays? Yes? Then this is the thread for you!

Happy Thanksgiving either way but if you don’t hate the holidays and are having a great day- then turn back now and go enjoy your happy day with yummy food and lovely family and friends- I am no one’s rain during a parade - You have been warned.

I know some of you are suffering at the hands of your TBM families... maybe since I’m east coast.... I really wish I could be with my TBM family and mom, sis, and brother.
Last Thanksgiving was awful as I cooked alone all day and we pretended happy family though pending divorce and hearing trial.. as he tried to get me to change my mind.. and I lived in fear of making him angry while trying to keep moving toward freedom.

This year we are apart, he lives close by with his paramour, but are not yet divorced. My sons will go with him from 5 - 7:30pm tonight.

So what is my problem, you are most likely thinking at this point- I have them all day. No, I don’t.... I am somehow sitting here alone.. crying while I type this, not wanting to burden my mother (inactive in the church) who does so much for me, or anyone else who has stood by me for so long. I want them to enjoy their day- Just let me wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and stop asking follow up questions!

Here is what happened and if your reading then your holiday sucks too... I am sorry, my heart goes out to you - come bring over some alcohol and we will write funny stuff together on the what are you drinking now thread.

I don’t even know if I should go into what happened... What do I want.. I am told to ask myself first. I want the feelings to go away.
I will try to bottom line while purging it out, in hopes of feeling better....

The boys and I got a few offers for thanksgiving. The boys wanted to be alone with me but I felt that was “him” winning and keeping me in isolation so I said no. Then they wanted my least favorite of the choices and I said yes for them. Let’s just call this man, who was once interested in me romantically, “the dad” becuase his son is friends with mine. So I message the dad Monday, thanking him for the invite and asking time/what I can bring since he never got back to me again. He says- I though you said no. What!? Do you even read my messages? So we phone talk the next day, and it’s too complicated to accommodate my gluten freeness... so I somehow agree to cook my own food while bringing pie. I work, I am a full time student, my son’s have constant appointments, especially my son with depression. I have hit the end of semester burnout and I have a three day trial very soon where my life is in the hands of a stranger- I AM A LITTLE STRESSED! But you know, he invited us and I am going to make it work. I go shopping last night and buy pies- at Whole Foods so there will hopefully be no complaining about me not cooking and I buy what I am willing to cook for myself. But all that is not the problem- I can keep my chin up. Last night my older son says the dad is picking up both my sons up at 10am. This barely sinks in as my son and I get in a fight over something else, so I move on to homework due my midnight and my younger other son. This son goes to bed. How was I not even asked about this? So then my older son gets a text at 9:50am, “we are almost there.” Then in two minutes he’s in the drive and threatening my younger he will leave without him. WTF! I’m feeling double bad because I can’t contain my anger. I don’t know when I am invited over to eat and better yet! I am ALONE! I feel like I wasn’t even given a chance to set boundaries.

I am not a pity case! And I don’t need help parenting - unless you are a professional! I do not need more experience like this in regards to men! I have never had a healthy relationship and I turned 40 this year. It’s okay to be alone for the rest of my life, I know that... but the feelings inside of me... I want to.... I don’t know. I am just so upset. I am upset at myself and I am angry that I am without my sons right now. I hate confrontation... I shouldn’t even be in this position. And I hate how I acted as they left... I am going to go try and so something I enjoy while I cook my own meal... which doesn’t even include pumpkin pie... becuase of time and all my dishes are dirty while I try to teach my sons I am not a doormat. THAT’S RIGHT- I said no pumpkin pie for me- a ****** tragedy -possibly the worst part.

I don’t want to hate or distrust men... I really like having face to face conversations with men even if they are not romantically available. Talking to a man is different than a woman. Less emotional talk and more talk about interesting things like art, and science or sports etc... but I don’t attract good men and I would not develop a friendship with a married man. I know I need to heal first and I am grateful to do it but days like this make prostpects not feel very encouraging. By the way- telling someone like me that good men are out there- I know that, that doesn’t mean I will find them, know them, and they are available, or see value in me.

Anyway, I am sorry your day sucks too.. Why do we have to have so many holidays in this county. And the pressure to have a good day. I actually gave that up a long time ago but this day feels like a stab in the heart, and head.

-I am very thankful for this forum/site and to those who made it and maintain it. I didn’t thank you by name but I know who you are. I am thankful for those who post, for those who fight for a better life (which can mean walking away), for those who stick around simply to be there for others, for those who hang in there for their families, and for those who put themselves out there.

Happy Thanksgiving. And Thank you- I feel like I can move forward with my day now.

[Kishkumen]

I feel ya, Lithium.

Sympathies and empathies

It's a cloudy day here. Literally and figuratively.

[Red Ryder]

Sounds like it's time to pull out the Janice Kapp Perry cassette tapes!

No?

Michael McLean?

You're not alone..... Say it one more time You're not alone.....!!!!!!!!!!

No?

Your savior Jesus Christ loves you and died for your sins?!?!

No?

Internet hugs?

[wtfluff]

Internet hugs?

Internet hugs from both RR and myself Lithium.

I am sorry for your sucky T-Day. Mine doesn't suck like that this year, but I have definitely been there. Thanks for sharing with us, and if at all possible, go do something that makes you happy.

[alas]

Sorry your Holliday is horrible. I wish I had some words that could cheer you up.

Being a military wife I had a few Thanksgivings with my husband away. Anyway, I hope things improve for you.

[Lithium Sunset]

Thank you guys/gals - for your internet hugs. It means so much to have a safe place to speak your mind and be heard.

I was better once I got there, I wasn’t greeted with a bunch of stress so that helped right off. I will learn from this (I hope) and will have Christmas here.

[Thoughtful]

I'm sorry. How rotten.

Hugs from me too. You seem like the type of person I'd be friends with. Over achieving, dealing with work, aspirations, kids mental health. Keep hanging on.

[2bizE]

I do like as much the holidays where people expect gifts from you.
Thanksgiving and Halloween are favorites.