Over the last few years for me the church has gone from God's Kingdom on Earth - led by God himself, to a club. The Worst Club Ever. They have extremely high dues, restrictive membership requirements, demand a full time sales force that works for free, demand that your entire life and worldview revolve around the club, passively encourage shunning family members who aren't in the club or even those who just don't take the club as seriously or who don't fit into the club's beliefs (LGBT, all Others).
It's ridiculous. Who would ever join this club freely if they could see it for what it was?
The Club
The Club
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
Re: The Club
Yes, but we have handshakes too!
Who doesn't love a few solid knocks followed by a quick conversation with the gate keeper and a good handshake?
Just imagine in the next life when billions of people are standing around outside the gates of heaven like its the best club in Miami circa 1989.
All the wannabes are hanging out trying to get past the bouncer who holds the entrance past the red velvet ropes. You stroll up in your minivan. A worker you recognize from the Jordan River Temple steps forward and opens the passenger door like a valet guy at the Trump Hotel.
Your eternal wife steps out with a few Cheerios stuck to her bosom. You appear from the other side decked in your white polyester suit, white tie, green apron, and the biggest grin on your face ever. You quietly pick the Cheerios off her dress and toss them back into the mini van. You're riding high, pimped out in your best temple tie, the white paisley designed by Brother Calvin Klone.
You walk confidentially past the worldly people who stare at you with confusion and disdain while they wait in line. The temple worker you recognized escorts you to the front of the line where a Porter Rockwell looking guy lets you through. Everyone can't believe what they witnessed. They overhear the sound of a mallet making three distinct sounds. Knock, Knock, knock. Then the sound of a faint voice in a hushed tone says, "what is wanted?"
The sounds of a muffled conversation fade away as the loud muffler of another mini van pulls up.
Welcome to Miami!
Who doesn't love a few solid knocks followed by a quick conversation with the gate keeper and a good handshake?
Just imagine in the next life when billions of people are standing around outside the gates of heaven like its the best club in Miami circa 1989.
All the wannabes are hanging out trying to get past the bouncer who holds the entrance past the red velvet ropes. You stroll up in your minivan. A worker you recognize from the Jordan River Temple steps forward and opens the passenger door like a valet guy at the Trump Hotel.
Your eternal wife steps out with a few Cheerios stuck to her bosom. You appear from the other side decked in your white polyester suit, white tie, green apron, and the biggest grin on your face ever. You quietly pick the Cheerios off her dress and toss them back into the mini van. You're riding high, pimped out in your best temple tie, the white paisley designed by Brother Calvin Klone.
You walk confidentially past the worldly people who stare at you with confusion and disdain while they wait in line. The temple worker you recognized escorts you to the front of the line where a Porter Rockwell looking guy lets you through. Everyone can't believe what they witnessed. They overhear the sound of a mallet making three distinct sounds. Knock, Knock, knock. Then the sound of a faint voice in a hushed tone says, "what is wanted?"
The sounds of a muffled conversation fade away as the loud muffler of another mini van pulls up.
Welcome to Miami!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy
“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
Re: The Club
When I went through the temple for the first time my family was waiting for me in the Celestial Room. My bishop shook my hand first and said, "Welcome to the club". That _really_ rubbed me the wrong way.
Re: The Club
This is what it feels like:
The church cannot quite articulate why people don't want to join or why someone would leave. They have their sacred beliefs that are supposed to be the most precious parts of Mormon belief and faith. Missionaries seem outwardly surprised about an investigator dropping them, while being quietly, inwardly not surprised. The one, true clubhouse cannot advertise the problems and is distinctly struggling about possible solutions.
The church cannot quite articulate why people don't want to join or why someone would leave. They have their sacred beliefs that are supposed to be the most precious parts of Mormon belief and faith. Missionaries seem outwardly surprised about an investigator dropping them, while being quietly, inwardly not surprised. The one, true clubhouse cannot advertise the problems and is distinctly struggling about possible solutions.
Re: The Club
Red Ryder, you almost convince me to go back with that picture. Especially the cheerios.
*I saw Star Wars Episode 3 with the child murdering Anakin a few months after returning home from my mission. I was finally getting normal again, and the missionary side of me was distraught that I was losing my missionary worldview. I had a girlfriend and we liked kissing each other and I felt like I had joined Satan's army. When I saw Anakin doing all those despicable things I really felt like that was exactly what I was doing. Murdering little children, one make out at a time.
Ohhhhh, that would burn me up too. At that point it better not be a club, it better be true because I can't unsee the bakers hats and chanting.document wrote:When I went through the temple for the first time my family was waiting for me in the Celestial Room. My bishop shook my hand first and said, "Welcome to the club". That _really_ rubbed me the wrong way.
I think it is more that the TBM can't even fathom why people would not want to be part of the church. In the TBM worldview it's that same as embracing evil, turning to the dark side like Anakin slaughtering little children*, and who could even think about doing that!? I remember losing investigators on my mission and being sick that they would reject God. It didn't even occur to me that they aren't rejecting God, they are rejecting an american religion started in the 1800's with a host of reasons not to join. They are rejecting club membership into the Worst Club Ever, which makes a lot of sense now. The moment you realize the church may not be God's, you are no longer TBM.Corsair wrote:The church cannot quite articulate why people don't want to join or why someone would leave. They have their sacred beliefs that are supposed to be the most precious parts of Mormon belief and faith. Missionaries seem outwardly surprised about an investigator dropping them, while being quietly, inwardly not surprised. The one, true clubhouse cannot advertise the problems and is distinctly struggling about possible solutions.
*I saw Star Wars Episode 3 with the child murdering Anakin a few months after returning home from my mission. I was finally getting normal again, and the missionary side of me was distraught that I was losing my missionary worldview. I had a girlfriend and we liked kissing each other and I felt like I had joined Satan's army. When I saw Anakin doing all those despicable things I really felt like that was exactly what I was doing. Murdering little children, one make out at a time.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
Re: The Club
Went I went through the big house the first time, A really close friend was there with me, it was very nice of him. For some reason, I decided to ride in his car as we all left the temple. As we were getting in the car, he said something close to 'Welcome to the Cult' or 'Not such a bad cult'. I can't remember the exact phrase but I distinctly remember him using the word Cult in a 1/2 serious 1/2 joking manner. That never set well with me, now I know why.document wrote:When I went through the temple for the first time my family was waiting for me in the Celestial Room. My bishop shook my hand first and said, "Welcome to the club". That _really_ rubbed me the wrong way.
And it really is terrible club on so man levels.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.