Last time attending church

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Korihor
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:37 am

Last time attending church

Post by Korihor »

I don't want to jinx myself, but a few developments might lean that I have attended church regularly for the last time. We'll see.

I'm not so naive that We'll never enter an LDS meetinghouse again, but we might be done with regular attendance.

Mrs Kori is back in SLC already to be with the family for the holidays. Since I'm home alone, no going to church for me :D

Mrs Kori texts me today that she's doesn't want to go to SM anymore and to remind her of what she said if she says she wants to go again. Additionally, she has been going to see a counselor to help with the several challenges she's currently facing and the counselor recommended she take 2 months off going to church.

Also, we've had talks and I've shared I don't want to go anymore.

So it seems the perfect storm has been created. A new year is just around the corner. She doesn't have a calling anymore, she hates SM, the counselor suggests taking time off.
Today in SM (with her mom in the ward she grew up in) she said the talks were completely unfulfilling and have been for many weeks.

Maybe 2017 is looking brighter???
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.
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glass shelf
Posts: 366
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:27 pm

Re: Last time attending church

Post by glass shelf »

That sounds really promising to me. I think a mental health break for a couple of months is definitely a good start. Maybe you can be a member of the 2017 "Not Even Once Club?"

I've been a proud annual member for the last two years, and it is awesome. Once you get up the courage to walk out the door without plans to return, it does get easier.
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trophywife26.2
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Re: Last time attending church

Post by trophywife26.2 »

Image
Even if it's something disappointing, it's still better to know the truth. Because people can deal with disappointment. And once they've done that, they can feel that they have really grown. And that can be such a good feeling. -Fred Rogers
Corsair
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Re: Last time attending church

Post by Corsair »

This is completely unfair, Brother Korihor. I first had lunch with you about a year and a half ago and you were in a painful area of your faith transition. Since then you have completely passed most of the Phoenix NOM lunch crowd in moving to a post LDS phase of your life. If this were a game I would claim you are cheating. But instead I have to believe that this is some kind of sorcery.

On the other hand, have a glorious 2017.
Korihor
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:37 am

Re: Last time attending church

Post by Korihor »

Corsair wrote:This is completely unfair, Brother Korihor. I first had lunch with you about a year and a half ago and you were in a painful area of your faith transition. Since then you have completely passed most of the Phoenix NOM lunch crowd in moving to a post LDS phase of your life. If this were a game I would claim you are cheating. But instead I have to believe that this is some kind of sorcery.

On the other hand, have a glorious 2017.
You are correct, it is extremely unfair. I have received much more than I could have possibly attempted to give. My NOM Brothers and Sisters are my personal saviours in navigating these tumultuous seas the past year and a half.
Bishop Corsair has been the sage advice to so many here. Others have been absolutely crucial, you know who you are. To those I haven't met in person, I feel like kindred spirits on so many levels.

Of course, I'm not leaving NOM. I might still be attending church in 2017, who knows. It's just a possibility that regular attendance has come to an end. Mrs Kori wants to continue to attend RS even if we don't go to SM.

Admittedly, I probably have cheated, used sorcery and resurrected every trick in the book that I could find.

For any of you reading this with a tinge of envy, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know that all is not a bed of roses. There are many difficult aspects of our marriage currently. Many times I have thought it might have been better to keep my mouth shut and just pretended for the rest of my life. I feel like I have risked everything. Sometimes with big risk comes big reward, but a big risk can also result in losing everything. We hear about the winners, but not the losers. Our fate is still unclear, but just know that it continues to be a very very big risk.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.
Korihor
Posts: 1239
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:37 am

Re: Last time attending church

Post by Korihor »

Corsair wrote:This is completely unfair, Brother Korihor. I first had lunch with you about a year and a half ago and you were in a painful area of your faith transition. Since then you have completely passed most of the Phoenix NOM lunch crowd in moving to a post LDS phase of your life. If this were a game I would claim you are cheating. But instead I have to believe that this is some kind of sorcery.

On the other hand, have a glorious 2017.
You are correct, it is extremely unfair. I have received much more than I could have possibly attempted to give. My NOM Brothers and Sisters are my personal saviours in navigating these tumultuous seas the past year and a half.
Bishop Corsair has been the sage advice to so many here. Others have been absolutely crucial, you know who you are. To those I haven't met in person, I feel like kindred spirits on so many levels.

Of course, I'm not leaving NOM. I might still be attending church in 2017, who knows. It's just a possibility that regular attendance has come to an end. Mrs Kori wants to continue to attend RS even if we don't go to SM.

Admittedly, I probably have cheated, used sorcery and resurrected every trick in the book that I could find.

For any of you reading this with a tinge of envy, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know that all is not a bed of roses. There are many difficult aspects of our marriage currently. Many times I have thought it might have been better to keep my mouth shut and just pretended for the rest of my life. I feel like I have risked everything. Sometimes with big risk comes big reward, but a big risk can also result in losing everything. We hear about the winners, but not the losers. Our fate is still unclear, but just know that it continues to be a very very big risk.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.
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glass shelf
Posts: 366
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:27 pm

Re: Last time attending church

Post by glass shelf »

Life is about risk. Keeping quiet and pretending is a different kind of risk. We all have different tolerances for what we're willing to accept and sacrifice, and healthy growth comes from making the choices that we can live with and accepting when others in our lives do the same.
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Red Ryder
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Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Last time attending church

Post by Red Ryder »

Corsair wrote:This is completely unfair, Brother Korihor. I first had lunch with you about a year and a half ago and you were in a painful area of your faith transition. Since then you have completely passed most of the Phoenix NOM lunch crowd in moving to a post LDS phase of your life. If this were a game I would claim you are cheating. But instead I have to believe that this is some kind of sorcery.

On the other hand, have a glorious 2017.
You Phoenicians have created a monster!

A margarita fueled Monster, who has maneuvered through the faith transition stages leaving a wake of destruction and a recycle bin full of Mormon CD's, lesson manuals, and crappy mormon books.

Don't you all feel somewhat responsible?
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
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Linked
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Re: Last time attending church

Post by Linked »

Congrats on the freedom Kori! Good luck in the next phase.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
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azflyer
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Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2016 4:10 pm

Re: Last time attending church

Post by azflyer »

Move down here by me. The 2:00 block is the perfect way to polish off any final drive to go to church.
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Deepthinker
Posts: 317
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 1:40 pm

Re: Last time attending church

Post by Deepthinker »

Definitely sounds like good news to me! I think the risks are worth taking. I too have considered the attend and pretend life, but I'm thinking it is the more difficult path and still has its own risks.

Perhaps you could solidify this with your wife by including it as both of your new years resolutions.
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No Tof
Posts: 382
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:54 am

Re: Last time attending church

Post by No Tof »

Congratulations to you family Korihor.

Sounds like life will be nicer in your home. Of course dropping in to see how the other side lives doesn't hurt either. It will remind you why you don't attend.
I will go for my annual visit this week.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.
Rumi
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