ReBranding that WILL WORK!

[Brent]

Because Re-Branding needs a plan and that COJCOLDS is too awkward we suggest the following changes:

COJCOLDS/Mormon: Team Jesus ™
Children 8 to 12: JV
12 to 18 Male: First String
12 to 18 Female: Cheer/Stunt Squad
18+ Male: Varsity
18+ Female: Boosters
High Priest: Head Coach
Auxiliary Presidents: Coordinator
Ministering: Scout Team
Welfare: Strength and Conditioning
Sunday School: Team Tape Review
Priesthood Meeting: Strategy Meeting
Relief Society: Booster Club
Primary: Pop Warner (we can negotiate the rights)
Seminary: Team Jesus Training Camp

The beauty is that most of these terms are universal and public domain. “Team Jesus” though close to South Park’s “Jesus & Friends” allows the opportunity to be trademarked AND who doesn’t want to be a part of Team Jesus? Imagine the headlines: “Team Jesus Announced…” “Team Jesus Seeing Unprecedented Growth…” “Criminal Perverts Oppose Team Jesus…” With an appropriately modern logo treatment this could really catch on with today’s kids! What hip cat or cool chick wouldn’t want to roll in Team Jesus logo gear? There’s untapped markets like clothing, pens, hot chocolate cups, jackets, shoes (shouldn’t we all walk in Jesus’ shoes?) as well as branded foods, firearms and paint. We can even repurpose unleased City Creek space to dedicated (and mobile) Team Jesus outlets. Focus groups should be formed and market research will bear out that this idea will work as well as respect the Lord by placing his name proudly in a catchy title.

Imagine how proud teens would be saying, “I’ve got early morning Training Camp” or leaving class to attend “Training Camp” while wearing Team Jesus sneakers and a cap. Temporary tattoos could be distributed to youth on Sunday. This is a total makeover. Rebranding to Team Jesus could save the next generation!

[Corsair]

Team jerseys are already in stores now!



A woman in my ward just got home from a senior mission in Texas. She was wearing a variant of this shirt and so were some of her grand-children. After last conference, we certainly can't wear such blasphemous shirts like this:



(Also available in stores now)

[MoPag]

They TOTALLY should have gone with Team Jesus!!!

"Hi, we're missionaries from Team Jesus!"

The Book of Team Jesus!

The Team Jesus Tabernacle Choir!


What a missed opportunity.

[moksha]

Brent, like the marketing ideas. Any way we can slip a copy onto Elder Gerrit Gong's desk?

[StarbucksMom]

A woman in my ward just got home from a senior mission in Texas. She was wearing a variant of this shirt and so were some of her grand-children. After last conference, we certainly can't wear such blasphemous shirts like this:



(Also available in stores now)

Corsair, honest question. What would be the point of wearing those shirts? A missionary opportunity to talk about the (super restrictive) gospel? To prevent others from offering alcohol or coffee? To show pride in one's righteous obedience? It seems, especially since it was an RM and her grandkids wearing it, like she thought it was some missionary kind of thing.

[wtfluff]

I just giggled a bit imagining "Team Shirts" with logos:

Ya'll
need
TheChurcofJesusChristofLatter-daySaints


Or:

I can't
I'm a member of
TheChurcofJesusChristofLatter-daySaints


'Twould be BRILLIANT. Brilliant I tell ya!

[2bizE]

There was an article in the Salt Lake Tribune last week about how Fundamentalist Mormons are happy to use the Mormon title. I think RMN has burned the Mormon bridge and now the LDS will be unable to manage their image. The world in time will continue to associate Mormons with those polygamist, yet they will never embrace the long name of the church. LDS and fundamentalists will all be grouped together. Very frustrating for the fundamentalists for sure.

[Corsair]

Corsair, honest question. What would be the point of wearing those shirts? A missionary opportunity to talk about the (super restrictive) gospel? To prevent others from offering alcohol or coffee? To show pride in one's righteous obedience? It seems, especially since it was an RM and her grandkids wearing it, like she thought it was some missionary kind of thing.

Seriously, I'm just as confused as you. I cannot conceive of why someone would want to own or wear this shirt. The fact that it is available online just leaves me wondering who would ever think this was a good idea. This shirt appears as an occasional punchline on a number of apostate websites usually attached to an attractive young woman:



It's possibly photoshopped, but this is how this slogan is commonly displayed.

[wtfluff]

Corsair, honest question. What would be the point of wearing those shirts? A missionary opportunity to talk about the (super restrictive) gospel? To prevent others from offering alcohol or coffee? To show pride in one's righteous obedience? It seems, especially since it was an RM and her grandkids wearing it, like she thought it was some missionary kind of thing.

Seriously, I'm just as confused as you. I cannot conceive of why someone would want to own or wear this shirt. The fact that it is available online just leaves me wondering who would ever think this was a good idea. This shirt appears as an occasional punchline on a number of apostate websites usually attached to an attractive young woman:



It's possibly photoshopped, but this is how this slogan is commonly displayed.

You guys are not thinking outside the box...

I personally would LOVE to wear one of those "I Can't" shirts. It would be a great conversation starter. The only problem is: It's highly likely that it would offend my believing family members. Also, I wouldn't actually pay money to purchase said shirt, it would have to be donated to me. Well... I'd purchase one if I found it at the "DI."

I'm fairly sure that "Gramma" thinks those shirts are brilliant missionary opportunities...

[Corsair]

You guys are not thinking outside the box...

I personally would LOVE to wear one of those "I Can't" shirts. It would be a great conversation starter. The only problem is: It's highly likely that it would offend my believing family members. Also, I wouldn't actually pay money to purchase said shirt, it would have to be donated to me. Well... I'd purchase one if I found it at the "DI."

I'm fairly sure that "Gramma" thinks those shirts are brilliant missionary opportunities...

Yes, it's an unintentionally hilarious shirt that honestly might inspire (and confuse) the older generation to emphasize differences. But do we need the modern, Russell Nelson version that states:

I can't. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

All of the apostates could wear:

I CAN. I'm a Major Victory for Satan!

That will go over very well at your next quorum activity when you want to emphasize your faith transition. It will at least comfortably confirm all of the correlated teachings about apostasy.

Also, the old stock of "Mormon" referencing shirts can simply be donated to the plural marriage aficionados in the FLDS communities.