Used to be in

[No Tof]

Hi Everyone,

I thought god had sent us all to outer darkness.

Nice to see some friendly names on the new site.

Well, since we are re introducing ourselves, I'll let you know I was the normal TBM son of goodly parents who taught me to believe. I had a child like, seemingly unshakable "sure knowledge" that the church was the kingdom of god on the earth so was willing to make any sacrifice to help out.

Active all my life, accepted all callings extended including seminary teacher, elders president, HPG assistant, HC,BP counsellor twice and BP, pretty much the whole gamut.
Children began questioning and leaving the church (without my permission no less) and I was sure I could solve it and find the answers to their questions. One rabbit hole later I find myself confident it is all a facade.

Really needed the help of the NOM 1.0 and now probably will lurk more then post.

Thanks to all the alumni and welcome to the ones who have opened their eyes.

[Hagoth]

Please don't just be a lurker. You have so much experience, we need to hear from you. I'm so glad you're here.

[AllieOop]

Children began questioning and leaving the church (without my permission no less) and I was sure I could solve it and find the answers to their questions. One rabbit hole later I find myself confident it is all a facade.

Wow, this is so familiar to me. I watched the PBS special "The Mormons" and heard things I'd never heard before. I got online to prove all of them wrong and several google searches later, learned they were all true.

I agree with Hagoth, I hope you'll do more than just lurk and will share your experience and knowledge

Glad you're here!

[Jinx]

I wish my parents could reach your conclusion. I hate being lectured about faith every time something happens in my life. My mother, however, is the type that wouldn't believe there was a wall in front of her even if she walked into it. I admire your courage and your intelligence.

[MalcolmVillager]

Welcome back. It is good to know that even those in "high places" in the church can see the light. NOM was a godsend in my FC. I have mostly transiturned in my faith, but my practice has only transitioned a little. Family makes thst process a lot more complicated. My family has never-mo's, ex-mo's, and jack-mo's as well as TBM's (including parents and 4 of 7 siblings). DW's family is all TBM siblings and parents, but several ex-mo's in the extended family.

If it were all my decision I would make several more changes.

I do have some questions for you, if it isn't too personal. I am raising 5 TBM daughters, the oldest 15 and the youngest 5. I want them to be normal and happy people. I love how the church culture can introduce lots of great young men for ossible spouses. I know the church doesn't have a patent on goodness but it has a pretty fgood system for sure.

How would you raise girls today if you had 100% control and family preasures didn't matter? This is my biggest concern. I know I can choose my life and be happy. I am wired that way. My DW was TBM and still mostly is but has issues with polygamy and the one true church claim, but I have not pushed her much. I don't feel I have the right to pull anyone down the rabbit hole.

I don't want my girls to have to go through midlife FC's like I did. I don't want to perpetuate the issues of the past.

What would you do differently now?

[GoodBoy]

Glad to hear from you!

[DPRoberts]

Welcome, No Tof. Having your kids leave the church can definitely send one down the rabbit hole. I have 3 out and one likely to follow.

I agree that with the impressive Mormon resume you would have a lot to contribute here if you have the time and inclination.

[No Tof]

During the first couple of years of paradigm shift away from orthodoxy, I struggled to find a good fit philosophically. For now, as a profoundly non-believing mormon, I have no place in my heart or day for churches of any kind. Worship for me feels good when I am out in nature or learning about the amazing universe. I enjoyed the idea of a middle way, but it just isn't me. I attended with DW out of a desire to make her feel I was still "in", but now I realize I have moved too far away from even that middle way.


Thanks for your "welcome back". It feels good to hear about your successes and struggles.

[Korihor]

Glad you made it back. Please share some of your experiences whenever you feel the spirit to do so.

[moksha]

One rabbit hole later I find myself confident it is all a facade.

Yeah, that used to be me but now I am comfortable with my post-facade membership. As long as the Church has members who add goodness to the world then it is okay by me.

Anyway, welcome to NOM. One of the best places to be your authentic self.

[No Tof]

@MOKSHA
I think I understand your position in being ok with your post-facade membership and agree there are good folks doing good from with in the church as well.

How did you become so "OK" with all the..... you know craziness? Did you go through the denial, sadness, anger stages of grieving that so many have described and came out the other end happy or some other way? I would love to see a time when I could feel good about being a member and actively going about being happy with it all but I think it is a while before I would consider attending meetings and just pretending everything is as it was.
Just curious as to how others have made the journey.

[moksha]

No Tof, too low on energy right now to explain my spiritual journey, but I do have line that might help in terms of coping with our Mormon tradition: "It may be a fairy story, but by God, it is our fairy story".

[No Tof]

I think you have a good point Mr penguin..... by god it IS our fairy story.......

Had someone tell me I'm not a mormon anymore. I think she is wrong.