This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
My TBM mother, who was raised with a variety of prejudices, is starting to see the world in a different light. One of her BFF's sons got married to his partner recently and my mother was invited to attend. She fretted over attending because "what if they kiss?"
Out of her little group of friends who have all been together since the 60's, my mom was the only one who attended. All the other ladies who have been BFF/visiting teachers with each other for OVER 50 YEARS refused to go and support their lifetime friend while her son married another man. They all said they could not attend because then it would be supporting his lifestyle. Her friend cried while she told my mom that it took her 50 years to find out who her true friends are.
I am so proud of her for attending. She loved the experience and witnessed a whole community of love and happiness. I even think she has changed by witnessing how they are all just normal people. I am just sad that I live too far away from Utah and could not attend with her.
crossmyheart wrote: ↑Mon Oct 01, 2018 6:30 am
AKA hell has frozen over!
My TBM mother, who was raised with a variety of prejudices, is starting to see the world in a different light. One of her BFF's sons got married to his partner recently and my mother was invited to attend. She fretted over attending because "what if they kiss?"
Out of her little group of friends who have all been together since the 60's, my mom was the only one who attended. All the other ladies who have been BFF/visiting teachers with each other for OVER 50 YEARS refused to go and support their lifetime friend while her son married another man. They all said they could not attend because then it would be supporting his lifestyle. Her friend cried while she told my mom that it took her 50 years to find out who her true friends are.
I am so proud of her for attending. She loved the experience and witnessed a whole community of love and happiness. I even think she has changed by witnessing how they are all just normal people. I am just sad that I live too far away from Utah and could not attend with her.
That is absolutely fantastic!!! Things are changing and will continue to change. Kudos to your mom!!!
Unfortunately the church is still too toxic for most LGBTQ+ individuals. Still so much work to be done. But that is an awesome sign that your mother attended!
"Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess"
Congratulations on having your mother attend an event like this. It's amazing when a believer sees this kind of ceremony, they usually start to question the whole ban on them and often just want to make it a non-issue for church attendance.
My wife has two cousins who each individually married their same sex partner. Grandma who is in her 80's was right there to love and support her grand kids. Ironically the most TBM family members avoided the weddings all together claiming they didn't support gay marriage. Grandma slapped them down verbally exclaiming, "I don't care if you support it or not, you SHOULD STILL SUPPORT YOUR FAMILY!!"
At the wedding of her grandson she ended up meeting and sitting by the grandma of his new husband who was also LDS. They clicked and thanked each other for supporting their grandkids!
I was also fortunate to attend the gay wedding of that guy posting above me's daughter! One of the best life experiences and funniest night of my life. A true experience I would have never had if I still thought and acted like a homophobic TBM.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy
“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
I'm going to get to experience something similar in the near future at a wedding where the groom has an openly gay brother, married to his husband, whom the groom's family is supportive of. My TBM family's reaction is going to be interesting. I don't know if my family will spend .5 seconds on FaceNeck to figure this out, so it could be a complete surprise to them when a gay couple is highly involved with the wedding festivities. I'm fairly sure my family will behave themselves, but I"m not so sure they'll be able to keep their heads from exploding.
This event could "out" my apostate ways to my family too, so things might get very interesting...
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus
Nope, too late, Hell already froze over in August when my daughter and her wife had their religious hand-fasting and my DIL’s mother attended. After 17 years of banning my daughter from their family, DIL’s mother attended, not only a gay wedding, but Pagan gay wedding. They were legally married when California first made same sex relationships legal and DH and I were the only guests and the witnesses. But they put off their religious ceremony for a few years hoping my Daughter’s in-laws would come round so they would attend. This is a 17 year relationship, and this was the first time DD’s MIL has been the least bit accepting. For the first 16 years, they followed Oak’s advice to the letter and made it clear that my daughter was unwelcome in their home or at any family event. Then the grandmother showed support, and the mother softened a little within the last year. But I think there is a post of mine from a year ago about how awful her parents were treating her. Then, they planned their hand fasting because her siblings were old enough that mom could no longer forbid them to acknowledge the relationship was real. She felt that at least her siblings could attend, even if her parents would not. But her mother showed up! So, see, hell froze over back in August.
So, yes, I think even TBMs are starting to accept that such relationships don’t go away just because they show open hostility to them.
crossmyheart wrote: ↑Mon Oct 01, 2018 6:30 am
AKA hell has frozen over!
My TBM mother, who was raised with a variety of prejudices, is starting to see the world in a different light. One of her BFF's sons got married to his partner recently and my mother was invited to attend. She fretted over attending because "what if they kiss?"
Out of her little group of friends who have all been together since the 60's, my mom was the only one who attended.
What, you thought your awesomeness came from nowhere?
Kudos to your mom.
Learn to doubt the stories you tell about yourselves and your adversaries.
alas wrote: ↑Mon Oct 01, 2018 11:11 am
Nope, too late, Hell already froze over in August when my daughter and her wife had their religious hand-fasting and my DIL’s mother attended. After 17 years of banning my daughter from their family, DIL’s mother attended, not only a gay wedding, but Pagan gay wedding. They were legally married when California first made same sex relationships legal and DH and I were the only guests and the witnesses. But they put off their religious ceremony for a few years hoping my Daughter’s in-laws would come round so they would attend. This is a 17 year relationship, and this was the first time DD’s MIL has been the least bit accepting. For the first 16 years, they followed Oak’s advice to the letter and made it clear that my daughter was unwelcome in their home or at any family event. Then the grandmother showed support, and the mother softened a little within the last year. But I think there is a post of mine from a year ago about how awful her parents were treating her. Then, they planned their hand fasting because her siblings were old enough that mom could no longer forbid them to acknowledge the relationship was real. She felt that at least her siblings could attend, even if her parents would not. But her mother showed up! So, see, hell froze over back in August.
So, yes, I think even TBMs are starting to accept that such relationships don’t go away just because they show open hostility to them.
That is really an amazing story. How great for your daughter to finally be acknowledged!
alas wrote: ↑Mon Oct 01, 2018 11:11 am
Nope, too late, Hell already froze over in August when my daughter and her wife had their religious hand-fasting and my DIL’s mother attended. After 17 years of banning my daughter from their family, DIL’s mother attended, not only a gay wedding, but Pagan gay wedding. They were legally married when California first made same sex relationships legal and DH and I were the only guests and the witnesses. But they put off their religious ceremony for a few years hoping my Daughter’s in-laws would come round so they would attend. This is a 17 year relationship, and this was the first time DD’s MIL has been the least bit accepting. For the first 16 years, they followed Oak’s advice to the letter and made it clear that my daughter was unwelcome in their home or at any family event. Then the grandmother showed support, and the mother softened a little within the last year. But I think there is a post of mine from a year ago about how awful her parents were treating her. Then, they planned their hand fasting because her siblings were old enough that mom could no longer forbid them to acknowledge the relationship was real. She felt that at least her siblings could attend, even if her parents would not. But her mother showed up! So, see, hell froze over back in August.
So, yes, I think even TBMs are starting to accept that such relationships don’t go away just because they show open hostility to them.
That is really an amazing story. How great for your daughter to finally be acknowledged!
It has been much harder on my daughter in law. It is her parents disowning her. She suffers from extreme social anxiety, and for her parents to tell her, you cannot come to grandma’s funeral if you plan to bring *her*, has been just devastating. That just means, she cannot go because she needs the support. Her parents live on the other side of the Rocky Mountains, and she couldn’t make a visit by herself, without suffering multiple anxiety attacks, so she went years with nothing but sporadic phone contact. They made one visit where my daughter stayed close by, while she visited with her parents. Long way to travel for not being allowed in the door. My daughter in law kind of took the position that total rejection of her partner was rejection of her....and it IS.
But can you imagine treating your own child like that for 17 years.
If you ever need proof that D. Oaks is not any kind of prophet of a loving God, just look at the heartache and family destruction that following his advice causes.
